OK... an oldie but a goodie. Pig joke....

[Dookus]

A traveling salesman is walking a route in a rural area. He comes upon a house and notices a pig with a wooden leg rooting around in the front of one house. This piques his curiosity, so he goes up to the house and finds the owner working outside.

"Excuse me sir... I couldn't help but notice you have a pig with a wooden leg..."

"Oh! THAT pig! Goldarn, we love that pig. Lordy jeezus, just two years ago, mah son was up in the loft in the barn and a fire done broke out. That darn pig climbed up the ladder and DRAGGED my boy outta that barn. Yessiree, we love that pig."

"That's quite a story. But why does he have a wooden..."

"Oh sweet gosh-amighty, we love that pig. Last year, mah wife was was down by the crick gatherin' crawdads and a dang-blasted flash flood came washin' down the crick, grabbed my wife and started draggin' her away. That pig, mind you - he's a PIG!- ran down there and done jumped in the water, grabbed my wife, dragged her back home. Saved her life, he did."

"Wow... but I still don't understand. Why does he have a wooden leg?"

"Golly gee whillikers, that pig. Don't know what we'd do without him. Just last month mah daughter was out in the field when a tornado just blew up. We was all a-rushin' down to the basement and plum forgot all about her. But not that pig, no sir. He went OUT to the field and DRAGGED her back to the house."

"Incredible. But please, why does he have a wooden leg?

The farmer pauses, looking blank-eyed at the salesman. "Are you CRAZY, fellah? A pig like THAT ya don't eat all at ONCE!"

[ScreamingMeemie]

1. Heeeheeeeheeeeheeeee

squeal. That is a good one.

[Dookus]

2. bump...

I put some time into this... and it's funny :)

[Dookus]

3. kick

:kick:

dammit, I love this joke.

[Hubert Flottz]

4. A Freeper went out on the pigfarm to spend the summer!

The Freeper had always been a city freep and his cousins on the pigfarm were showing him the ropes! The little Freep learned to slop the hawgs and build pigpens and the whole nine yards, after about 2 weeks out on the farm! Finally after things started to get a little easier for the Freeper, he remembered his girlfriend back in the city and he got all aroused thinkin' about her!

The next morning the Freep asked his cousin what one was supposed to do for sex out there in the country! His cousin told him that they just went out to the sty and had their way with one of the pigs, when they felt the need! The Little Freepers couldn't believe what he was hearing, so he told his Freeper cousin, "That's horrid, I'd never stoop to that!"

After about a month went by the Freeper was really getting horny, so he went back and asked his cousin how to go about having sex with a sow! His cousin said, "You just put those Gum Boots on and then pick the pig up by the tail and set it's back feet down in the boots and she can't get away!" The Freeper said, "By Damn I'll try it!"

The Freeper puts the boots on and heads out for the pigpen! In about an hour he comes back all covered with mud and pigshit and his cousin says, "Well how did it go?" The Freeper replied, "Damn those nasty critters, I couldn't even get an erection, much less have sex!" His cousin said, "No Wonder you dumb city freep, You Picked The Uglyest Pig Out There!"