Let's Bash Wisconsin!

[TXlib]

A Wisconsin Diary

Sep. 28 My darling husband and I finally moved to our new cabin in the backwoods of northern Wisconsin. I'm so glad I talked him into this purchase and I just know that it will grow on him if he gives it a chance. It is absolutely beautiful here! The hills are so serene and picturesque. I can hardly wait to see them with a mantle of snow covering them. The colorful, rustic, elderly gent who sold us the place hinted that we probably wouldn't last a year up here. Fiddlesticks! I'm sure that he's teasing us. This is truly God's Country... I love it here!

Oct. 27 Wisconsin is the most gorgeous place on earth! The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red, orange and gold. My husband and I take long walks together each evening. We feel so close that it's almost like a second honeymoon for us! And the people living around here are so helpful and friendly. Many have mentioned that we should replace our sports car with a four-wheel drive truck. Hubby would like to but I just laughed at that silly notion. Today we went for a drive through some lovely hills and even saw some deer! They are so graceful, certainly they are the most peaceful creatures on earth. This must be Paradise... I love it here!

Nov. 11 Oh my! I am horribly shocked! I've been told that deer hunting season will begin soon. I simply can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant and fragile animal! Why, they are the very symbol of peace and tranquility! Hubby thought he might like to try it but I put my foot down! We'll hurry to put up ‘No Hunting’ signs all around our property! The temperatures have been rather chilly for the past three weeks and we had to have the propane tank filled. It was rather expensive, but I expect 350 gallons should last us at least two years. Sure hope it snows soon... I love it here

Dec. 2 It SNOWED last night! My prayers were answered! We woke up to find everything blanketed with 10" of heavy, wet snow. It looks just like a postcard! We went out and shoveled for nearly two hours, clearing the pathway and driveway. We even had a snowball fight (I WON!). When the nice snowplow man came by we had to shovel out the driveway again. Oh, well. What a beautiful place. Truly Mother Nature at her finest. I love Wisconsin.

Dec. 4 The local hardware store called and asked us if we'd like the opportunity to purchase the last snowblower that they'll have in stock for the season. Hubby wanted to but I told them that it is much too expensive for the few times we'd use it and that they should sell it to someone else. I also told them that they were a little pushy about the whole matter. Hubby slept on the sofa tonight!

Dec. 12 More snow last night! I LOVE IT ! The snowplow did his little trick again, that rascal. We hurried out to do the shoveling. Hubby is getting a little cranky lately and my back is killing me. I'm hoping he'll give me a back rub. Gosh, what a winter wonderland! I really like it here.

Dec. 13 Received the property tax bill in the mail today. Wow! There must be a mistake. No one should pay that much unless they live in a mansion. I'll simply call the town clerk and explain the error. Power lines went down in the ice storm tonight. Spent the night feeding logs into the fireplace every few minutes just to stay warm. Hubby refuses to talk to me.

Dec. 14 They made a mistake on our tax bill all right. It seems that we owe an ADDITIONAL $600 thanks, in part, to my questioning. Hubby is glaring at me and I'm getting somewhat concerned.

Dec. 15 Power came back on this afternoon. Forecast calls for snow all night and through tomorrow. Phone lines went down. My husband blames me.

Dec. 17 Oh joy. Oh rapture. We got over a foot of snow again last night. I couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this morning and I'm exhausted from all the shoveling. Hubby and I spent the day arguing about the gun he bought from the snowplow driver. He has also started drinking heavily. I'm beginning to wonder why I ever married him. Had a high temperature of only -12 degrees today! Phone lines back up.

Dec. 23 Got another 20 inches of that ---- last night! My husband claims to have 'injured' his back and thus can't help me with the shoveling. I think he's lying. My hands have blisters on top of my blisters. I think that snowplow waits around the curve until I've finished clearing the driveway, that ------ jerk! Couldn't get up the hill on the way home from work and had to walk the last 3 miles. I don't understand why they don't use more salt to melt the ice faster. It's been so cold that the furnace hasn't stopped running for the last 6 days.

Dec. 25 White Christmas my --- ! More ------- snow last night. If I ever get my hands on the s.o.b. who drives that plow, I swear I'll castrate him.

Dec. 28 Got 18" of snow last night. Been stuck inside since Christmas Day, except to go out to shovel after "The ---hole" comes by. Can't go anywhere. Car is buried. Weatherman says to expect another 8-14" tonight. My boss called to fire me because I've missed too many days. My husband is drinking heavily and mumbling and I just sit and stare out the window. Haven't heard the furnace kick in for a few hours. Getting colder in here. Probably just a fuse.

Jan. 1 Happy ------- New Year! The weatherman was wrong - AGAIN. We got 28" of that white ---- this time. Spent another $300 to have the propane tank filled and $2000 to replace the furnace! Repairman strongly suggested that we shovel off the cabin roof before it collapses. What kind of a sick joke is that? Does he think we're stupid? My husband shot at him. These people are all ---holes. The phone lines are down again.

Jan. 4 Roof caved in over living room during last night's blizzard. Repair crew nailed up canvas and plywood and claimed that they couldn't repair the damage fully until spring. My husband shot at them too but was too drunk to hit 'em. He's driving me crazy and I can't take much more of him.

Feb. 3 Finally got out of the cabin today. Went to town to get food, ammo and booze. On the way back a ------- deer ran into the car. Did about $3000 worth of damage. The worthless pests should all be killed. Wish the hunters had wiped them out. Will take down 'No Hunting' signs if the snow ever melts. The lazy, drunken bastard took a swing at me tonight when I told him to go shovel snow. I may have to feed him rat poison if he doesn't straighten up.

Mar. 20 It's very quiet and peaceful today and I'm exhausted. Finished restacking what's left of the firewood pile. Buried the body deep underneath it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

May 3 Took the car to the garage in town. Full of rust holes from all the ------- salt they keep putting on the roads! I can feel everyone staring at me. I wonder if they know? Phone service restored long enough for the bank to call and tell me our account is almost empty. Buried the car up to the doors in mud while trying to get up the driveway. Tried to tighten the canvas in the living room to keep out mosquitoes. Dislodged a hornet nest while doing so and was stung nearly a hundred times. Drank up the remaining booze.

May 4 Shot all of the 'No Hunting' signs off of the trees. Spent two hours picking wood ticks off of me afterwards. Face and arms are welted up from deer fly bites. Septic tank has backed up and the propane tank is empty again. I don't know what the hell my husband was thinking of when he dragged me off to this part of the country. I hate it here!

May 5 The crooked old bastard who stuck us with this place stopped by this afternoon with some groceries. When he asked where my husband was I shot him, dragged him inside and set fire to the cabin. I'm taking his four-wheel drive truck and I'm heading as far south as I can get. Maybe I'll head for Mexico. Yeah. Mexico. I think I'd love it there...

[AmandaRuth]

1. Wisconsin...

Home of all the interesting mass murderers....






(Just so everyone knows, I am way joking here)

[htuttle]

7. Maybe we'll have you for dinner some night..

...served with a side of favre beans and a nice Chianti.

:evilgrin:


BTW, speaking as a life-long Cheesehead, and an Ancestral Badger* we haven't had a winter like the post above described in over a decade.



------
*Ancestral Badger: Descendent of one of the early Irish settlers who lived in 'badger holes' while mining lead. While I've seen photos of the 'family hole', I've never visited it yet.

[northzax]

9. for the record

the correct line is "served with a side of fava beans and a nice AMARONE" they dumbed it down for the movie, figured most Americans know chianti, but couldn't get Amarone, even though you would never eat liver and fava beans with chianti, not a good combination...

[Caution]

14. methinks you missed the joke

changed fava to favre. Brett Favre is the Quarterback for the Green Bay Packers...basically the only thing worthwhile in Wisconsin! And yes I'm kidding, I've never even been there...

[mark0rama]

17. Favre beans

That's funny!

[Thor_MN]

49. Badgers? We don need no stenking Badgers.

My opinion? The Viking's home game against the Packer should be played in East Grand Forks. Either that or close the border 36 hours before game time. Maybe put a toll on I-94 for the people who commute to work from western WI, but other than that, I really have no complaints.

[StClone]

8. Dumb Sombitches

Wisconsinites are set to have a mass murder. Their first dove season is all set to open Sept. 1st. Mourning Dove is listed as the official Wisconsin state Symbol of Peace. Now you can bet gun nuts ar wetting their pants over the idea of forcing little old ladies to face that the little cooing dove is now blastable. Think of the gun and ammo sales!

Reality is I oppose this hunt not because the Dove can't handle the hunting pressure for it's two ounce breast. What I find sickening is a handful of nuts have forced the issue and won. Few want this and many oppose it viscerally! Remember when old W shot the protected Killdeer? Well collateral damage will include American Kestrels, Killdeers, Meadowlarks and many other species. Non-target losses and the idea of more hunters dominating and dictating outdoor activities turns me off.

[pansypoo53219]

18. WA

has far MORE of them. and a lot of serial rapists too. MUST BE THE RAIN.

[Archae]

2. Sounds like a mild winter.

:evilgrin:

[LTR]

3. HEY!!! I live in Milwaukee

and your post just about sums up life in Wisconsin.

Hilarious!

[XNASA]

4. Why? When it's so much more fun to bash TX.

Hey, I'm a FIB (you Wisconsinites know what that means) and even I know that WI is no where near as bad as decribed in the "Wisconsin diary". In fact, I rather dig our neighbors to the north.

However, I did spend 6 years of my life in Houston that I'll never get back. When it comes to hell on earth, Houston plays second fiddle to one.

[sybylla]

39. Dem FIB's are okay

You can come and visit anytime. :hi:

[newyawker99]

53. Congrats sybylla!! 800 posts

:toast:

[Jackpine Radical]

59. Just leave your money here

& don't forget to go home.

[eyesroll]

5. We got something like 50 inches of snow in December '00

and not much at all since here in Waukesha (Milwaukee area)...

[SOteric]

6. Hmmmm... That reminds me of this:

http://extlab7.entnem.ufl.edu/IH8PCs/humor/cold.htm


"An Annotated Thermometer
(degrees Fahrenheit)

+50
- New York tenants turn on the heat
- Minnesotans plant gardens
+40
- Californians shiver uncontrollably
- Minnesotans sunbathe

+35
- Italian cars don't start ..."

- More @ link -

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Ha ha!!

Except it should be Wisconsin, not Minnesota.

Everything they say about WI being cold is true.

I hear the people here in NYC bitch about the cold, and then in the summer bitch about the heat and humidity, and I can only shake my head and say, "You really don't understand..."

[SmileyBoy]

29. Minnesota's a LOT colder than Wisconsin. Trust me.

I've lived in one half my life, been to the other countless times (in winter). Minnesota is DEFINITELY colder. For example, Brainerd's average January temperature is colder than the coldest average temp in Wisconsin, and Brainerd's only in the central part of the state. Minneapolis's average January temp is a few degrees colder than Green Bay's. Also, when you get up to Warroad, Roseau or Hallock in January, you're in flavor country, buddy.

[Rabrrrrrr]

35. Oh yes, very true

MN can definitely have the lower average temperature, I don't doubt that at all. And generally more snow, too - MN gets the bottom of the "U" formed by so many weather fronts, and so is more covered by the cold/snow belt than WI or the Dakotas.

BUt, I think WI's attitude toward cold is more casual, and perhaps we are more serious about ENJOYING our cold...weather...

Or maybe not. :-)

Hate to start a flame war (how ironic) over who enjoys the cold more... either way, you have MN and you have WI and they make the most wondrous combination of cool, awesome, bitchin', well-managed, well-run states with the best people in the whole country. IMO.

[SmileyBoy]

40. More folks bitch about it here because of the southerners that moved here.

If you distilled out all the southern (see: Repub) migrants, then we'd be a MUCH more hardy bunch; like we used to be 20 to 50 years ago.

[Rabrrrrrr]

42. Yes, the scandanavian blood of MN is being thinned

with southern migrants.

Sad, really.

Hope it doesn't turn MN into a rabid conservative plaid polyester wearing hatefilled state like Florida.

Southerners are cold weanies. So are new englanders.

[efhmc]

51. That is funny because many of the old timers griped about how

AC had changed Texas because it made it possible for Yankees to live here. (By the way, the word Yankee always had damn in front of it. That was the only time it was acceptable for children to say damn.)

[GumboYaYa]

44. Hey, I object to that remark on several levels.

My Dad moved to Kenosha from Louisiana a few years ago. First, he is a die-hard liberal. Second, he loves the cold. He even has a couple of snowmobiles now.

My Dad has a deep Southern accent too. His first few years in Wisconsin I joked with him that he needed a translator to follow him and explain what he said.

[RetroLounge]

10. Funny. Really. and I live here!

but as I am fond of saying, I'm not from here, I just live here.

I'm actually a FIB and a Bears fan for life, but I've been marooned here in Cheeseland since 1986 and don't EVER plan on going back.

Wisconsin has its downsides, sure, but not very many, and not very big ones. I couldn't even afford to live in the house I grew up in, the prices in Chicago have skyrocketed so dramatically. And jobs? Forget it. Sure, in Milwaukee, every job gets 100 resumes. In chicago, every job gets 3-500 resumes. (Tech industry).

I'll just stay here, enjoy my inexpensive house, enjoy our Democratic Governor, and try not to bitch too much when it snows...

[eyesroll]

24. I'm a former FIB myself...

my parents just bought a three-bedroom RANCH in Buffalo Grove, IL, for more than twice what my three-bedroom two-story would sell for in Waukesha.

And it was a fixer-upper.

[RetroLounge]

32. Oh yeah, I understand...

I grew up in Niles, and even if I wanted to go back (which I don't) I couldn't afford a house there. Even a fixer-upper. And Wauwatosa is a lot like Niles anyhow, just cheaper.

[newyawker99]

54. Congrats RetroLounge!! 800 posts

:toast:

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. Sounds to me she's a whiner that we don't want in WI anyway

let her go to FIBland or something where she'd be happier...

Wisconsin is only for the tough.

As we say, "God created Wisconsin to train the faithful".

:evilgrin:

[RetroLounge]

13. Wrong. God created Wisconsin

so us FIBs would have a place to vacation and retire to...

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. PFAGH!!!

FIBs driving their idiot cars into WI and shooting cars and littering and cutting us off and swerving all over and thinking that Door County and Lake Ganeva are FIBland state parks is part of the training of the faithful. YOU are part of the TEST.

:phhhhbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbtttttttt:

[Archae]

16. Amen brother!

I live in a town the FIB's tear through. Frequently. (Sheboygan)

Usually in some filthy motor home that has a pair of underwear jammed in the gas filler because they lost the cap, and Freeper bumper stickers half-worn off, and dirty ragged flags on top.

[XNASA]

20. Here I am, defending Wisconsin.........

....and you guys go off on us FIB's.

I'll have you know that I've had a love affair with Wisconsin for decades. We even Honeymooned in Egg Harbor.

I've camped at Castle Rock and Devil's Lake, more times than I can count.

I have never done anything disrespectful to the people or the state of Wisconsin.

Tsk, tsk.

:(

[Archae]

21. Youre not an FIB.

To be an FIB, you have to be a total slob and a Freeper.

So you qualify as "valued visitor."

Not FIB.

[htuttle]

22. That's right! Enjoy your visit!

Then go back home!

:evilgrin:

(and for the record, I'm married to a former Illinesian).

[RetroLounge]

34. To be an FIB, you have to be a total slob and a Freeper

Careful with that Freeper Talk.

Illinois just elected a Democratic Gov and the whole state has swung Democrat.

I've been here in Wisconsin for 18 years, and my illinois friends and family call me a Cheesehead, and my Wisconsin friends and family call me a FIB.

"A Man Without a State"

[Rabrrrrrr]

28. I'm with Archae, then - you are likely a "valued visitor"

Most Illinois people, like the farmers and the rural ones, are okay people.

It's those Chicago assholes we can't stand.

Just like the NYC assholes who invade Vermont and New Hampshire and he Berkshires. "We onlty have the weekend, so we better go 120 mph and drive like dicks and then once we're there, we should be in a hurry for everything and bitch and moan when our frappucinos aren't done in 1.6 minutes instead of 1.9 minutes and we hsould talk luodly and smoke uor cigars wherever we want because we're the customers and who the hell cares if this restaurant is mostly local people just trying to have a family night out yada yada yada."

[Archae]

30. Exactly.

And they think all us native Wisconsinites are dumb farmers and scream bloody murder when they have to pay what THEY don't want to pay, even if it is far less than what they would have to pay in Chicago for gas, food, etc.

[XNASA]

36. "Yah hey dere."

OK then. For the record I am a Chicagoan, well I'm from Chicagoland, but I don't tear up the pristine Wisconsin countryside.

Actually, it's probably all of those snobs from the northern suburbs who do most of the damage. Even 'I' call those people FIBs. Except the folks in Evanston. They're practically Chicagoans.

I'm a Sout' Sider. People around here usually go to Michigan for the weekend. So don't blame us.

[Archae]

37. "Let's go down by da lake and have a brat an' a beer."

Right? :-)

[ewagner]

60. What???

No cheese curds hey?

[RetroLounge]

33. Name 4 Counties in Chicagoland with 4 letters and one Syllable

Cook County
Kane County
Lake County

and....

Door County

:evilgrin:

[pansypoo53219]

19. and

last year we had a NO SNOW emergency up north.

[ScreamingMeemie]

23. Hey,hey,hey,hey...you texas people better watch out!

You're the ones responsible for *;-). Wisconsin=cheese=Packers=Storybook gardens in the Dells=love...

[TXlib]

38. I moved here after * was appointed.

I blame the morans in Florida who couldn't read or punch their ballots properly.

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. I come in here after the "texans suck" thread of last night and here

you have a post bashing my state??? ;)

[efhmc]

50. This Texan would love to visit but I know better than to try to live

there. Wouldn't it be great if we store and send them some of our summer heat in the winter and they could store and send us some of their winter cold in the summer. Think what we would save on cooling and heating costs.

[underpants]

25. Funny we used to be scared of the Soviets when it turns out....

they are just like people in freakin' Wisconsin!

[ScreamingMeemie]

26. Hey, aren't you supposed to be GONE!?!

Leave my beloved mother state alone.;-)

[SmileyBoy]

27. HELL YEAH!!! As a Minnesotan, I looooved that!!!!

WISCONSIN SUCKS!!!!!! (Just kidding, guys. Madison and Eau Claire are a couple of my favorite towns in the US.:-))

[jafap]

31. my sister had something similar for Nebraska

That is, a letter like that, talking about the snow. Personally, I think the rain in Wisconsin is worse. I call it the Wisconsin water torture. Usually it rains continuously for about three days, and after about ten hours of drip, drip, drip, drip I am ready to scream "I confess. I will tell everything, just make it stop."
I found the snow in Iowa to be worse. We would get six inches of snow and I would have two foot drifts. I did not have that in Wisconsin, because I lived in the "driftless" region (ha ha). Severe thunderstorms were a joke there too, at least in my corner.
Minnesota is the same way as far as rain goes. Many times I would be driving through rain on I-90, and I swear that the clouds would stop at the SD border. You are now entering the other sunshine state!

[fishnfla]

43. Never underestimate the power of cheese

never, just dont do it.

[TheBigGuy]

45. Sure thats not the UP, eh?

Say yah! to du UP, eh!

[TheBigGuy]

46. The snowmobile was invented in Wisconsin.

I wonder why.......?

[dolo amber]

47. NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONOOOOOOO

I patently REFUSE to bust on the good state of Wisconsin for one simple reason...the Honorable and Much Tasty Russ Feingold. :D :loveya:

[goobergunch]

48. Something you forgot (assuming this was last winter)

Nov 5 Wisconsin elects a Democratic governor!

[Boudicea]

52. WI pig farm

My fav niece married a pig farmer; she was a city girl. I love visiting (the house is generally up-wind). It reminds me a lot of TN. And there are lots of chicks on motorcycles.

[UrbScotty]

55. Wisconsin almost voted for Bush!

:grr::argh::mad::puke:

[ScreamingMeemie]

56. The key is almost.

:P and they voted overwhelmingly for Clinton both times.


1992

C-1041066
B- 930855


1996

C-1071971
D-845029


Okay, maybe not overwhelmingly, but close

[Rabrrrrrr]

57. But they didn't, did they?

Nyah!

[htuttle]

58. We had a crooked Republican governor at the time

Just wait and see how we do with our new Democratic Governor.

BTW, we also have 2 Democratic Senators, and I'm pretty sure the majority of our Representatives in the House are Democrats.

[Jackpine Radical]

61. But our ****** legislature is Repig

in both houses.

Something's really gotta be done about that.

Wisconsin has always been weird politically. Bob LaFollette & Tail Gunner Joe. Go figure.

[ewagner]

62. Crooked Repub Gov?

You mean the one who is now the crooked Secretary of HSS?

[htuttle]

64. That's him...

The Good Old Boy from Elroy with all the friends in the highway construction business.

[ewagner]

63. I am transplant from Florida

Moved to WI in '75 and never looked back.

Lived up on Lake Superior for 10 years and absolutely loved it.

I've grown quite fond of Midwesterners in general, hell I even like Sodies (MN) and UPers are really cool. Only time I don't like FIBs is on the interstate on Friday nights...........cheeeesh.

My only son is native Badger and damned proud of it!

The only state I really like to bash is ALABAMA!