How do you cope with annoying co-workers? (Violence unacceptable)

[Pert_UK]

I have to sit next to a woman who talks to her computer constantly, as if it were a child. She patronises me for suggesting that holistic medicine and astrology are not necessarily the best first resort during serious illness. She sings entire songs at her desk, jogs on the spot and will drum continuously on the desk for a full minute. She hums. She talks to herself the whole time - she'll ask questions and then if I respond she says she's talking to herself, then when I ignore her she'll interrupt my work to ask something pointless. If she gets an email she has to read it aloud - if it's a mail saying that 20 people can't do something then she will read each of the names aloud "A can't do it, B can't do it, C can't do it.....".

And the crowning turd in the waterpipe is that she doesn't do it when she's working by herself, only when I'm there.

She's a nice enough person, helpful and friendly and everything, but just SO annoying that it makes life at work a hideous ordeal.

I only have to make it through one more month, but it's driving me insane.

Any advice on how to cope with this? I've tried not changing my clothes for 2 weeks and farting constantly, but she's still here...

:evilgrin:

P.

EDITED FOR DOUBLE NEGATIVE!

[FreeperSlayer]

1. Human Resources

Begin documentation NOW.

[philosophie_en_rose]

2. Report to management

She's decreasing your capacity to maximum your productivity, thus reducing profits and damaging company morale.

[Booberdawg]

3. ROTFLMAO!!

Oh, I really need to get some sleep.

I'm sorry. That wasn't funny.

Have you tried leering?

[NJCher]

4. Most of the problem has to do with sound

She's intrusive to your "soundscape." So since it's only a month, create a new one. Buy a set of earplugs and also a headset. Plug the headset into your computer and listen to music while you work. You can even set this up so you can just get a switch and talk on the phone if you need and you don't have to take off the headset. It's inexpensive, too--less than $20.

When she intrudes on your time, do this. She walks into your office and you "log out" by noting the time on a sheet of paper. Tell her you're studying your time to increase your efficiency at work. Let your pencil hover over the sheet so she is under pressure to get to the point. Then "log out" when she leaves.

I actually used to do this when I had to work in an office with annoying people and it worked for me.




Cher

[ET Awful]

5. I recommend . . .

Playing Slim Whitman CD's from your desk at full volume. Perhaps some recordings of the Hee Haw gang including Minnie Pearl, etc.

If that doesn't work some good old fashioned fake satanism may help. Perhaps a pentagram suspended over your cube with the requisite skulls and fake blood around your computer :).

[Dookus]

6. now that's just mean....

I was scarred badly back in college when, after a 'big night out', I passed out on the couch. One of my roommates put headphones on me and played a continuous loop of Slim Whitman's Greatest Hits.

I still have a slight tic.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

7. Straight up,

One of four things are at play here, either seperately or together:

1. She has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

2. She is schizophrenic. No joke.

3. You threaten her and she retaliates with passive-agressive behavior(My personal choice.)

4. She has a bigassed crush on you and wants to gain your attention, in any manner, no matter how inappropriate. Does she have, generally, really poor social skills?

[tweekinnow]

8. She want's attention,

YOUR attention.Pure and simple.Try inviting her to dinner and a movie,I bet she bites.Take her out and have a good time.Then She will realize you know she is "alive" and quit all of the annoying antics.Hey it worked with my neighbor and we became good friends.Sometimes a little bit of attention goes a long way.

[Pert_UK]

11. Thanks, but no thanks......

I can barely stand spending time with her when I'm paid, I'm not going to do it in my own time!

P.

[Booberdawg]

9. Here's an idea

How about being honest with her? Tell her all the interruptions are distracting. :shrug:

That's what I do.

[DS1]

10. I was told that I could listen to the radio

at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.

[Pert_UK]

12. Well thanks for the suggestions, but......

I'm not sure I can use too many of them!

Further info....

1. I'm only in this job for another month, so I might as well just fight my way through it.

2. I'm 28 and she's 60. There will be no romance here (especially as my girlfriend would get a tad annoyed). Solutions that suggest spending MORE time with her to sort this out are not acceptable!

3. I'm hoping that she's going to be out of the office a lot in the next few weeks.

4. This is a small, family company and <<FX Steven Segal>> I'm just the temp. No HR dept. or managers to speak of, and anyway, we're not into 'formal complaint' territory here, just workable strategies to cope with the workplace equivalent of water torture.

5. I forgot to mention the silly voices. Never forget that she uses silly voices all the time, whether it's talking to herself, her computer or someone on the phone....which, incidentally, she has managed to get 3 wrong numbers on so far today.

It's still driving me insane here.....

[REP]

13. Portable CD Player and Headphones

They saved me from comitting murder many a times. I just flat out ignored everyone and did my work (and cleaned up after the chatterboxes).

[BurtWorm]

14. Take notes

She sounds like a character to make a movie out of. Maybe even take notes right in front of her and when she asks in a funny little voice, "What are you doing, love?" you can say, "I'm studying for my psychiatric exam."

[HEyHEY]

15. Don't rat them out

Just be very very very rude! I know the feeling more than you think. Take out all of life's prblems on them!

[Pert_UK]

16. "HEY! Come in here, we're talking about male sexuality!"

"Oh, they say that English men are really reserved about that sort of thing. He doesn't want to talk about penises and all that....."

Hmmmmmm......I appreciate that you haven't been introduced to my sense of humour and the base, vile and thoroughly obscene range of jokes that I share with my friends. Please don't mistake my reluctance to spend time discussing cocks with you as shyness - the subject is irrelevant, I just don't want to talk to you. Ever.

GRRRRRRRR!!!!

P.

[pink_poodle]

17. Had a somewhat similar experience years ago..................

Lovely but super annoying person I had to work with just like this one. Oh she was just so lively and so gosh darn friendly and pert. ugh! I could not crush her. She was uncrushable. So I ended up getting used to it and built up a tolerance level. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.