The Mixed-Metaphor of all CAPTIONS!!!!

[skip fox]

W. is "thinking": "What the hell do they mean? 'The bombing in Isreal may have derailed the roadmap to peace'??? It just doesn't make any gosh-darn sense! A roadmap ain't a locomotive . . . or a boxcar, . . . or a caboose . . ., hey!, it's just a map, for Christ's sake. A map with a road on it. And on the road are cars and trucks any maybe a motorcycle or two. Those don't get 'derailed'! Geez. They're just talking crazy."

[Fenris]

1. W. is "sprechin'":

"I can't believe I had to cut my gold game short just because some Mexican from the U.N. got blowed up by Special Forc...I mean Pro-Saddam loyalists. I mean really, it's 'sad' and all that jazz, but dammit I was playing a kick-ass round! I gotta tell the boys to stop planning these attacks when I'm relaxin'...I mean...well, shit...TERRORISM, 9/11, SADDAM, PRO-SADDAM LOYALISTS, IRAQ IS FREE, GOOD, EVIL, MUDERERS...thank you. This conversation is over."

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

2. But Karl, I DON't WANNA pretend I go to gas stations and drink

outa these here "Styrene-foam" cups or whaddever ya call em. It smells funny here and this cup feels weird and it makes a squeaking noise when I drink!

[underpants]

3. White House releases '74 photo of Bush with urine sample

Spokesman claims that it is proof that the now President in fact did not skip his Air National Guard physical because of excessive cocaine use but was waiting for the Greyhond he was told to take to the medical facility. It never showed.

[cosmicdot]

4. W: yeah, just out before the chickens get up or go to bed ...

... depending on their battery shift ... look no lines here for gas ... when I tell you I spoke to someone and then state something with that, it doesn't mean we actually talked about anything other than my golf game or bass fishing ... it just makes you think that, like if I said I spoke to Billy Tauzin ... not only do I like to say the name 'Billy', but I'll say he's chairman of this or that, and then say something sounding important, and ya'll think that's what Billy and I talked about ... just be careful there ... hell, I don't know how long it'll take to find out what happened the other day ... but, I'm sure we can get a meeting going ... I've been calling for an energy bill a long time ... at least that's what Dick says, and he jotted down some ideas in March of 2001 but you can't see them ... damn Democrats keep making the Republicans vote stuff down ... but, hey, the bass are growing, and that's a good thing ... they help to create jobs sometimes ... we got quail back ... Laura hired someone to plant some wildflower seeds ... they gave her some to toss ... kinda sad looking ... blank look ... I think the meds combined with the lies and stress are making her come across like a basket case ... not that I'd know what one is ... well, gotta go ... boys in the back room got a card game going ... Delay's in there and some others ... hey, wait up Slim ...

[skip fox]

5. Now as day DU'ers issue soft goodbyes,

turn off their screens, setting mouses by,
and moon replaces sun in eastern sky,
so evening DU'ers wake to take their places,
riding the muse through ecstatic paces
to embellish night with sweet captioned graces.

:kick:

[myomy]

6. I wanted to get here before dark, cause thatÕs when those UFOs show up.

.

[Qutzupalotl]

7. Water tastes kinda funny

and talk about expensive! And what's up with that long hose?