My life goal: become a greeter at Walmart in Goderich, Ontario.

[Tyler Durden]

Or any other low ambition, low wattage, low stress job for old farts.

I haven't gotten any mileage out of my sky high IQ to date: so if I'm going to slide into decline, let me do it with leasurely sloth!

"HI! HOWYA DOIN? COFFEE'S FRESH AT THE SNACK BAR, AND THE BARGAIN AISLE HAS ALL NEW STUFF!'

[Chuckup]

1. You just want to do it for

the neat vest. I hear its a fashion hit in Canada. Combine that with all the snow you get up there, and you feel warm all over!

[Tyler Durden]

2. Snow Shovels are over in Aisle 5, Ay?

Howya doin?

I'm gonna start saying that to EVERYONE.

[northzax]

3. oh really?

you think you're taking my job? come and try, mofo, I'll beat you down same as we did to Kmart and all the other local retailers!

[Tyler Durden]

5. NO, we both greet, we just break each other.

I drink coffee, you greet, reverse repeat.

If that ain't poetry, I don't know what is.

[northzax]

15. er, no

then you'll just show me up with the corporate bosses. my regulars depend on me, if I wasn't there to greet them, they might drive over 50 miles to the nearest retail outlet and shop there. I am a key part of the corporation, they say I'm actually getting minimum wage, as soon as my three year 'training period' is over and the people at Corporate believe I am good enough. don't take that away from me!

[meegbear]

4. Aim high Tyler Durden!!!

[Tyler Durden]

6. A man's reach should exceed his grasp...

...or what's a stepstool for?

Stepstools? They're over in Asile 10 with the Rubbermaid stuff!

[Chuckup]

7. step-stool, is that like a half-ladder?

[Tyler Durden]

8. Ladders are in the Garden Center!

Am I good at this, or what?

[kmla]

9. Mr. Greeter, could you tell me where the union steward's office is?

Out by the dumpster? Next to that stack of overtime slips?

OK, thank you.

[Tyler Durden]

10. take it in the spirit it's intended.

If I don't need pocket change, I'll work in the garden with the wife.

Hey, you tell ME who's hiring 60 year old ex-technical writers to do-nothing jobs and I'll go work there.

[BigMcLargehuge]

11. why not create the magnum opus, 'memoirs of technical writer"

My parents, Mom (A) and Dad (B) met on a fine moonless evening outside a local "sock hop". B arrived at 8PM in his Buick (inline six at 150 horsepower) convertable (temporary rooved) to transport A and B to the cinema. They had a choice of films to view including:

- The Thing that Wouldn't Die
- John and Marsha

Upon procurement of popped corn and soft drinks (net cost: $5.15) they navigated their way south through the cinema doors (Swingin: See OSHA reg 1145-09) traveled approximately seven measured paces, and sat....

[Tyler Durden]

14. Popcorn is in grocery Aisle 4!

Were those men's, women's or kids socks?

[BigMcLargehuge]

20. Tyler... not even a snicker?????

I'm a technical writer too and I think I captured the spirit of our wage-slave literary careers...

I feel curiously snubbed.

In what aisle are facial tissues? I need to wipe... my... tears....

[Tyler Durden]

21. DUPRO-8.2.3-4a Apology Procedure and Corrective Action

LEVEL TWO DOCUMENTATION: PROCEDURE (ELEMENT 8)
TITLE: Apology Procedure and Corrective Action
PH REF. NO: DUPRO-8.2.3-4a
PROCESS OWNER/AUTHOR: QUALITY SLAVE

POSSIBLE OBJECTIVES OF APOLOGY PROCESS
1 AMELIORATION OF FEELINGS VIA PROCESS CONFORMING TO SYSTEM AND STANDARD.
2 CHECKING FOR COMPLETE IMPLEMENTATION OF PROCESS OF CORRECTIVE ACTION.
3 REVIEW FOR FUTURE APOLOGIES EFFECTIVENESS.
4 APPROPRIATE DUPING OF THE "APOLOGEE" BY THE "APOLOGER."

PREPARING FOR THE APOLOGY
1 THE "APOLOGER" WILL PRESENT AREAS OR PROCESSES THE "APOLOGEE" MAY GIVE AS AREAS OF RESENTMENT.
2 THE "APOLOGER" WILL SCHEDULE TIME WITH THE "APOLOGEE" OF THE RESENTMENT UNDER REVIEW.
3 THE "APOLOGER" WILL FAMILIARIZE THEMSELVES WITH THE RESENTMENT TO BE REGRETTED USING A PROCESS MAP
SUPPLIED BY THE "APOLOGEE" (IF AVAILABLE).
4 THE "APOLOGER" WILL REVIEW ALL RELEVANT QUALITY MANAGEMENT SYSTEM DOCUMENTS RELATED TO THE
RESENTMENT.

PERFORMING THE APOLOGY
1 THE APOLOGY WILL BE DOCUMENTED USING DUFORM-8.2.3-4b GENERAL APOLOGY AUDIT.
3 MAKE ANY RECOMMENDATIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT ON THE DUFORM-8.2.2-3 CORRECTIVE ACTIONS REQUEST.
4 ANY ISSUES THAT WOULD CONSTITUTE A NONCONFORMANCE ARE TO BE DOCUMENTED USING P1FORM

SPECIAL NOTES
THE APOLOGY PROCESS IS A FREE-FORM ACTION AND REVIEW, AND ITS MAIN PURPOSE IS TO SHOW APOLOGY
RELEVANCE AND EFFECTIVENESS. THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SINCERE, AND IS NOT DESIGNED TO DO ANYTHING
BUT KISS THE "APOLOGEE'S" ASS SO THAT HE GOES AWAY FEELING LIKE HE ACTUALLY GOT SOMETHING.


DUPRO-8.2.3-4a ORIGINAL FILE ISSUE DATE: 09/13/02
CURRENT FILE EFFECTIVE DATE: 09/13/02
PAGE 1 OF 1 REVISION #: NEW

[BigMcLargehuge]

23. of course you realize

I'll need that in triplicate for peer review.

[kmla]

12. Likewise...

I was only commenting on Wal-mart's long history of union resistance and union busting. They also have quite a history of coercing their employees to work unpaid overtime.

My comment was in no way was intended to be a slam toward an employee, past, present, or future.

Actually, while most all of their employees are honest and hard-working, they are paid $diddly.25 and hour, while the Walton family continues to rake in the moolah with a backhoe. All the meanwhile, they are undercutting and crushing local businesses in many communities where they open a store simply because they can...

THAT was the spirit of my comment.

[Tyler Durden]

13. Hey, no harm no foul.

I laughed while I typed the reply.

The whole thing is sort of dark social comment on not being able to retire.

I don't want to travel the world; I just want to stop putting in 9 hours a day at the auto parts factory. Eventually.

[northzax]

17. hey now

they get diddly.25? and I'm stuck at just plain diddly? maybe if the unions weren't leaching the blood out of American business, they could give me a raise. damn unions.

[kmla]

19. ?

Excuse me?

[northzax]

24. er, you're excused, I guess

what, did you fart or something?

[Ellen Forradalom]

16. a man's aim should exceed his gasp

or what's his inhaler for?

[northzax]

18. a man's aim should exceed his grasp

which is why you should never piss into the wind.

[Tyler Durden]

22. sometimes a man's reach SHOULDN'T exceed his grasp...

or masturbation would be impossible.

KY is in Health and Beauty Aids, Aisle 11!

[catmandu57]

25. That's a fine ambition to have

Maybe someday you'll greet my daddy, who has I think made it his purpose in life to visit every walmart on the face of the earth. He's looking for something different I guess?

[northzax]

26. no, just for something

with an american flag on it made in the USA.