A question for the....La-dies(with my best Barry White inflection)

[MiltonLeBerle]

Have you ever been out with a guy, on a date or otherwise, wanted to 'jump his bones', but didn't necessarily want to be seen as the initiator, so you sent out a signal, or signals to that effect, only to have the guy totally miss said signals?

[Lady Freedom]

1. I can't really answer this...

When I want to'jump his bones' I tell him!

[wryter2000]

2. Yup

And I had guys tell me years after the fact that they were interested but didn't think I was.

Slooooow burn.

However, if she says "no" she doesn't mean, "maybe I'll change my mind." If she can't make up her mind, you don't want her, anyway.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

3. Well they either missed them, or

they weren't interested.

But hmmph! What good were they anyway? ;-)

[SOteric]

4. *L*

I don't know a whole lot of guys who 'get' subtle.

[liberalhistorian]

5. Absolutely!

But a lot of guys aren't too swift about picking up subtle signals like that, or they're a little unsure about whether or not they're correctly interpreting the signals.

[Lady President]

6. Sure

At least I choose to believe he missed the signal rather than it being a case where he wasn't interested. No need to cause my ego any additional blows. I'm 32 and I still couldn't tell you what is too subtle or what's a good signal.

[davsand]

7. Well sure.

Back when I was unwed and unencumbered I had it happen that they'd not realize I was interested. There was always an issue for me in deciding if it was polite disinterest or total oblivion. I had to age a bit before I realized that a lot of men are still single because they have no idea what women are thinking. They have to be told or SHOWN that women are interested.

Once I figured THAT out life improved a LOT!!

Laura

[Skittles]

8. F*** NO

I JUST JUMP 'EM.

[populistmom]

9. No

I've been with the same man since I was 18 (in other words it's been awhile), but even at that young age, if I liked him, I made sure he knew it. I was never a game player. Most males seemed to appreciate that.

[MiltonLeBerle]

10. The reason I ask-

In an earlier thread today...yesterday, maybe you saw it, a poster said the following:

"...One night at a party I was drinking with a friend, a very pretty friend and things were going smoothly. We ended up late in the night, snuggled on a couple of blankets on the basement floor (different basement) talking and snuggling. I was drunk. She was drunker. I made a consciouse decision, even after she took off her panties to NOT take advantage of the situation. Eventauly we fell asleep. The next day she seemed sheepish and told me how wonderfull I was and that I was such a gentelman for not taking advantage of her. Later that afternoon she disappeared into someone elses room and was gone for hours. I was crushed. I do still have that pair of panties and a couple of snapshots of her without her shirt on though (long story about the photos)..."

when I suggested that he had missed a very obvious signal about what the pretty friend had in mind, and that he should have pursued it, I was chastised as a 'neanderthal' for advocating that he 'take advantage' of the poor drunken thing...I never suggested committing 'date rape', I was just trying to point that she might have been 'interested' to say the least- and her behaviour the next day, being 'sheepish' and all was probably a sign that she felt rejected by him the night before. It's also very possible that she was feigning her true level of intoxication in hopes of being seen as more 'vulnerable' and his for the taking.

Have any of you la-dies ever pretended to be a little(or a lot) drunker than you were as part of the 'signal' process, or just to get things moving along??

[Kamika]

11. Not nessecarily "jump his bones" but..

** free clue to guys ** read and learn this goes out to all of you


Sometimes when youre out with a guy you like, you want him to take initiative because thats what the GUY is supposed to do. DO not wait for us girls to take any initiative thats for YOU guys ! I know many girls do take initiative but i think i can speak for the majority here that we want you guys to do it. Initiative to kiss us or maybe just talk.

Guys are sometimes shy and that does not mix with us girls because trust me we are probably even more shy and if so noone will take initiative to anything. And in the long run we will get bored.. and you dont want us bored.

So anyway if we smile alot and talk and so, really try take initiative to something because i promise unless we really show signs that we dont like you we want you to take it further. Now this doesnt nessecarily mean SEX, it can mean maybe just change conversation subject to something more personal or maybe kiss us or something like that.


Ok and guys who do this without actually being told to is what "we" like best. Nothings worse then a guy who has no clue about signals.

[tarheel]

12. Sorry Kamika

but I have to call bullshit on this one. Personally I have been married for nearly 20 years and one thing that still aggrevates me to no end is my wife's insistence that I be able to read her mind.

Us men are always being chastised for being too aggresive or having a one track mind or moving too fast.

I just think women need to learn that they need to let us men know exactly what they want if they expect to get it. We men are gun shy after so many years of trying to read the signals and always seeming to get it wrong.

Didn't mean to rant, but this is kind of sore spot with me. This is one the things I think women's equality is all about. If you want to be equal, then be secure enough in yourself to go after what you want with no apologies.