I am crying over something that happened 25 years ago.

[Ellen Forradalom]

A bitter breakup, a boyfriend who sent me packing from our apartment with no explanation. Today we spoke about it for the first time since it happened.

We were very young, but he was special. Still one of the smartest people I've ever met, all these years later.

I drove by the old building today, but it's gone; knocked down to build a McMansion.

[Bronco69]

1. Did he explain this time?

n/t

[Ellen Forradalom]

3. He got a start.

We'll talk a lot more when we meet in person. We have been chatting online.

[liberalhistorian]

2. Those kinds of things always hurt,

no matter how much time has passed. I still remember how special my first boyfriend was, and how bitter was his breaking up with me after more than three years together. Did your ex say why he sent you packing? And how did you meet up with him again after all this time?

BTW, what language is that in your sig line?

[Ellen Forradalom]

4. Yes, it feels like it happened yesterday.

We only got a start on the subject today. I looked him up online after I bought his book.

That's Hungarian in my sig line, a famous poem (well, famous in Hungary):

Freedom, love,
These two things I need.
For my love, I would offer up my life.
For my freedom, I would offer up my love.

[liberalhistorian]

5. Do you speak Hungarian?

So, is your ex married? And what book did he write?

[Ellen Forradalom]

6. Yes, I speak Hungarian, though not so well.

He's in an LTR. And he wrote a technical book.

[liberalhistorian]

7. I'll bet that was strange to talk to

him again after all this time. I remember how it hurt when my first boyfriend got married after knowing the girl less than a year; we'd been together over three years and he'd always said how he never wanted to get married. It still stings in a way, I guess. Although a certain DUer has gone a long way toward making me forget that, lol!

[Mikimouse]

8. Sometimes it seem that we make many incorrect decision...

men, that is. I am glad that you have the opportunity to get some 'closure' in this instance. I would give much to be able to speak to one person with whom I worked for several years. I was in my first bad marriage at the time, and totally unapproachable, but there were signs from her that there was an emotional interest. Can't turn the clock back, and now that I am about to be divorced for the second time, I figure that it is probably a good thing that I never pursued the connection, even after my first divorce. Probably would have lost her too.

[pagerbear]

9. Tears are good

Well, maybe not in the moment, but in the end they're good. Sounds like you're healing some of that old hurt by dealing with it now. You're fortunate you can talk with him about it rationally after all these years. I wish you lots of luck! (OK, luck doesn't sound like the right word, but I hope you know what I mean.)

[soleft]

10. I had reconnected with the guy I was madly in love with in College

We were good friends but my feelings were unrequited. I remember sitting with him and my future husband in a Chinese restaurant - I had two pieces of bazooka bubble gum, I offerred a piece to the guy I was madly in love with, he turned me down - I offerred it to my future husband, he accepted. The fortune in the bubble gum said, "She likes you" I opened up my piece and the fortune said, "he likes you" So the guy I was madly in love with moved to Spain and I married the bubble gum guy.

For years I tried to track down my friend, wondering what ever happened to him, and finally one day I found an email address and emailed him and was so happy to be back in touch. I felt like an unanswered question was finally resolved.

But I haven't heard from him in a while, which kind of bums me out. I did confess my feelings to him - back in college, on the day we graduated I told him, you know, I was madly in love with you, and he said, I know. And I freaked out and said - you knew??? What didn't you say anything? And he said, I just thought things were good they way they were.

I wonder if he looks the same. Oh, it turns out he was gay.

I hope your discussion with your ex gives you the answers you're looking for and resolution and peace.

[bobbieinok]

11. When it became obvious we were divorcing after 20+ years of marriage,

many friends and others talked about the importance of communicating.

I got to really hate that word. One of the hardest things in the world to do is to communicate with another person. And the closer you are, the harder it is-------probably because you think you both have the same meanings and connotations for the words you use.