What is the WORST pizza you've ever had?

[Whitacre D_WI]

Mine? Ha-Ha's Pizza in Yellow Springs, OH.

Yes. It's even worse than Little Caesar's and Dominos.

[GOPisEvil]

1. A Shakey's in Pasadena, CA.

I remembered Shakey's Pizza from when I was a kid. I always loved it. So, when I saw the Shakey's out in Pasadena, I thought I'd relive my childhood. Bad idea. Cardboard, covered with the sauce, cheese and toppings would have been better.

When I got back home, I told my parents about my trip to Shakey's, I apologized to them for making them eat that crap. I guess I liked the place because of all the games, not the pizza.

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. Oh wow! Shakey's I loved them as a kid in Milwaukee too. I loved

how you had a little speaker on your table so they could call you up for pick up. Thanks for the tip that the pizza is not so good. I would have been duped as well, because I still think of Shakeys as my favorite pizza. :hi:

[NoPasaran]

57. Another Shakey's

This one in El Paso.

Do you think they're universally horrible?

[Burma Jones]

2. Pizza-Boli's in Gaithersburg, MD or any Little Caesars

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

14. I agree with that

I'm shocked they actually opened more than one Pizza Boli. It's more like Pizza E-coli.

[randr]

3. Tombstone Pizza-Colorado

The name says it all!

[arwalden]

4. Chef Boy-Ar-Dee (Remember Those?)

Just horrid.

There was the dough mix that would never spread out on the pan the way it was supposed to. It also had a sugary-sweet tomato sauce (that seemed more like tomato juice). Yuk.

Do they even make it anymore?

-- Allen

[Whitacre D_WI]

5. Don't forget the hard-grated cheese-food-topping!

I used to love those when I was a kid.

They still make 'em, but I'm afraid to actually eat one.

[arwalden]

11. That Was CHEESE?? --- I Thought It Was Sawdust.

-- Allen

[H2O Man]

18. Oh, my God!!!!

You win! You win! My face HURTS from laughing so hard! Oh, man! When I was a kid, our family was so poor that we thought of these as a great treat! Can you imagine a family of seven "feasting" on these? (The double-pack, of course!) I can't wait to tell my brother about your post. Oh, God .... my kids would never understand. I'm always focused on having plenty of good food here for my family, because I lived on pan-cakes twice a day for months on end, and these "pizzas" were indeed a huge treat!

[arwalden]

25. We Had Our Moments Too...

I recall many skimpy meals that we scraped together during my childhood. Those "pizzas". Fishsticks (and nothing else). Mac & cheese (and nothing else). Saltine crackers with melted velvettea (and nothing else).

It was also a treat to have enough sugar to make a pitcher of Fla-vor-ade.

At least we had something... many didn't.

-- Allen

[H2O Man]

32. That's right.

I tell my kids that when I first read Angela's Ashes, I was jealous that any family should enjoy so much wealth.

[ScreamingMeemie]

10. Yes they do! Yuck!

That was our Friday night dinner when my parents were going out. Blech.

[demnan]

22. Our Sunday night supper!

As kids we had this ritual and my Dad thought he was doing something good for us so he would make those horrible boxed pizzas and of course we thought it was great too.

I was a teenager before I even tasted decent pizza but you know back in the sixties they didn't have all these delivery places and it was only in the seventies that they seemed to get popular.

[NashVegas]

30. I Liked Their Sauce

the dough and cheese, though.

well, what did you expect for $1.29?

[wtmusic]

6. Oh-Boy! Brand Frozen Pizza

Oh boy! This tastes like cardboard!

[noonwitch]

7. Dominos

I hate their pizza almost as much as I hate their owner's politics.

[tjwash]

13. Second for dominos...

...it just plain bites.

[Supormom]

19. Another vote for Dominos

My kids get sick every time they visit a friend and Dominos Pizza is ordered. I have to ask before they attend sleepovers if they are serving pizza. I've received too many phone calls at 2:00am letting me know that my child is vomiting all over the sofa.
Ha! Serves them right for ordering that garbage!

[ACK]

21. I am with you Domino's bites

yuck.

[dolo amber]

9. LaRosa's Pizza

in Cincinnati...It's one of those Cinci *traditions* that everyone craves when they've been away. So every time someone came to visit, guess where we got to go...:eyes:

Imagine, boring pizza crust, sauce w/48lbs of sugar in it, and burnt toppings...YUM! :9

x(

[Whitacre D_WI]

15. Hey now -- LaRosa's is the 5th-best food provider at King's Island.

Fuck. I guess that ain't sayin' much.

Yeah, that sauce -- y'know, I think it might be okay as a dessert. :shrug:

[frylock]

65. i think i had la rosa's while staying in nearby hebron, ky..

I didn't think it was that bad. Of course, I had just spent all day driving to Cincy from Philly, so just about anything would have been good.

[Loonman]

12. Any Greek style pizza

I'm sick of the spongy crust and greasy topping bullshit.

[Cannikin]

16. Am I the only one who hates Pizza Hut?

[frylock]

66. no, you're not..

the see-through box you get from Pizza-Slut after all the grease has leached from the pizza is rather disturbing.

[Dees]

17. Pizza TuGos in Ocean City, MD

Crap! Like most pizza today the sauce is over spiced with basil and oregano. Toppings on a 16 inch pie were in a circle centered 4 inches in diameter in the middle. Resort pricing as well.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

23. Ocean City, MD

My worst was in OC too. It was one of those "free pizza during happy hour" pizzas. It was just a big cracker with ketchup on it. They took their time getting the pizza from the kitchen too.

I got up and left. Probably didn't even pay for the beer, either. Can't recall the name of the establishment.

[Dees]

27. Yep. Having lived here for a time now

I have discovered there is some seriously crappy food here at some seriously rip prices. Have eaten at some of the "locals" favorites too. Nasty stuff. Ledo's Pizza is decent pizza here.

[RandomKoolzip]

20. Louisiana Pizza Kitchen, New Orleans, LA.

Okay, first they put the goddamn sauce ON TOP OF THE CHEESE, then they put mint in the sauce so it tastes fucked up, when I returned it and asked for a normal pizza and the guy just gave me a slab of dough with melted chees and a few tomato slices ON TOP OF THE CHEESE again.....And a 10 inch wheel cost me 16 dollars. Dammit, a pizza comes in three distinct layers, IN ORDER, bottom to top: DOUGH, SAUCE, CHEESE. Anytime you get any of these ingredients out of order on some expensive pzza, you're dealing with food snob aethestics; the cook obviously doesn't give a shit about making some good 'zza, he just wants to impress you with his artsy-farsty noovo culinary tricks.


I HATE food snob food. Pizza was never meant to be an "artisinal" item; if you wanna get all LL Beany on a pizza, please don't invite me to your little snob-fest.


I'm still bitter about this! LET PIZZA BE PIZZA AGAIN!

[Whitacre D_WI]

24. Let pizza be pizza again?

Traditional pizza is an artisinal food. It's baked by artisans in Naples in wood-fired ovens that reach 900 degrees Fahrenheit. The classic Pizza Margherita consists of crust, tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, and fresh basil. That's it. Yum!

I think you're confusing "artisinal" with "artsy-fartsy." I am in agreement that artsy-fartsiness has no place anywhere near a pizza oven (hello, California!), but the traditional ways are VERY welcome.

[RandomKoolzip]

34. When I say "Let Pizza be Pizza Again...."

I mean that I want pizza to be like the pizza I had when I was a kid, growing up in NEW HAVEN, CT (ask anyone who lives there about the high pizza density and the attendant quality thereof), when the pizza came in three distinct layers, and the toppings went ON TOP. All that Food Channel shit came later, and is an abomination to pizza, or at least my vision of what pizza is...

[Whitacre D_WI]

37. Yes, and New Haven pizza is quite similar to NY pizza...

...that is to say, it's the "non-specialty" American pie that most closely approximates the pizzas of Naples.

But that is an artisinal pizza -- traditional methods + traditional ingredients = artisinal food.

[RandomKoolzip]

41. Okay. Semantics, Vinnie.

Whatever. I think you get my point nonetheless. When I see the word "artisinal," I think, "I'm going to pay a few bucks more because they're selling me the "aura" of gourmet/snob dining." It's one of those words that flatters the ego of the would-be sophisticate. I'm sure the guys at Il Forno in Branford, CT would look at you very funny if you used the word "artisinal" around them.

[Rainbowreflect]

26. When we were in Hawaii with my whole family.

One night we ordered pizza to be delivered to the resort we were staying at.
It was horrible. The crust was cardboard, the sauce tasted like tomato paste and the mushrooms were slimy.

[Whitacre D_WI]

28. An honorable mention:

No, it wasn't as bad as Ha-Ha's, but it was pretty wretched nonetheless.

Once I was at a Chinese buffet that had pizza(!?) -- it was basically a frozen Totino's or Tombstone-type pie that had been left under the heat lamp for, I dunno, a week or so. "Ancient Chinese Pizza," I called it.

Dreadful.

[NashVegas]

29. Papa John's "Chicken Alfredo" Pie

Someone brought that into work.

OMFG.

What the hell were they thinking?

[shanti]

68. any kind of papa john's pizza

sucks big time! it's like eating flavored cardboard.

[Commendatori]

31. Mamma Ilardo's, Union Station, DC

It's like taking real pizza and eating it a second time.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

33. Anything in Vermont

They have no business trying to make pizza

[RandomKoolzip]

35. Chicago deep dish is reaaaaaallly overrated, too.

It's just doughier and messier than real pizza.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

39. Ahh but we're spoiled coming from the Pizza capitol of the world

But they wouldn't understand!

[RandomKoolzip]

45. Arrrgh!

See my tete-a-tete with Whitacre above^^^^.

New Haven: highest pizza density of any city in America. I dare anyone to go to New Haven and COUNT the number of AUTHENTIC pizza places we had there; you'd lose count after the first hour or so of driving around.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

48. New Haven: the birthplace of American pizza

http://www.yaleherald.com/archive/frosh/2000/blue/p51pizza.html
New Haven: the birthplace of American pizza
By Matt Wiegle

snip

On July 9, 1988, two stories dominated the front page of the New Haven Register: first, Oliver North was going on trial for his role in the Iran-Contra scandal; second, Sally's Pizza on Wooster Street was celebrating its 50th anniversary. Since then, North has sunk into relative obscurity, having attempted in vain to gain office in the very government he tried to subvert. However, Sally's and its slightly older neighbor Pepe's remain positive icons by continuing their roles as the progenitors of American pizza and by having nothing whatsoever to do with foreign policy.

In the early years of the 20th century (the Pizza Legend goes) Frank Pepe immigrated to New Haven, where he created the first American pizza by putting tomatoes on top of old bake-shop bread. His creation was so successful that in 1925 Pepe opened his first pizzeria on Wooster Street. By 1938, business was booming, the whole family was involved, and Pepe's nephew Sal Consiglio split off and opened his own pizzeria, Sally's. Soon, Pepe had moved out of his original store, now called The Spot, and opened a larger restaurant. Sally's and Pepe's remain locked in their Wooster Street rivalry today, two blocks apart.

The pizza from both establishments is refreshingly thin and light. While chains like Pizza Hut have become increasingly obsessed with using cheese as stomach ballast, packing as much as possible into their pies, Sally's and Pepe's wisely demur. Pepe's pies look exactly like good oven-cooked pizza should: cheese sitting on top of but not dominating the sauce, with a flour-dusted crust framing the affair. They're as delicious as they look. Pizza from Sally's is even better. Arriving at the table in shapes that make equal distribution between dinner party members difficult, these pies have almost no visible crust—the toppings go to the edge. Their sauce is tangier than Pepe's and the slices are softer. It's a joy just to hold one and fold it in half. Even the mouth burns from a Sally's pizza taste good.

A charming sense of tradition inhabits Sally's as well as Pepe's. Sally's, for example, is furnished with brownish-yellow booths that set off its brownish-yellow walls, which makes everything inside look a bit like an old sepia-tone photograph. The Spot is adorned with old photos of Frank Pepe in a service uniform and in a chef's hat, posing in front of vast shelves of tomato sauce. He wears the same bemused yet glum expression in each picture, which suggests something of the guy's attitude toward either life in general, or the army and pizza-making in particular.

snip

[RandomKoolzip]

51. You know, I've STILL never been to Sally's.

Been to Pepe's, it was grand. When i come up this summer, we're gonna have to make a little road trip, senor Strength.....

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

64. NEVER? We used to go at least once a week in the day!

We'll definately hit it up! Sr South of the Border Paul will be allowed to acompany us

[Whitacre D_WI]

42. Mmm-hm.

"Chicago Pizza" is simply a round "Sicilian Pizza," which is a perversion of the classic Sicilian dish sfincione -- which is not, in fact, a pizza (and is NOTHING AT ALL like Chicago pizza). Pizza comes from Naples, sfincione comes from Sicily. Get it, people? :P

[RandomKoolzip]

49. Did you fail to get a pony for Christmas AGAIN this year, honey?

Looks like I'm being outclassed in the bug-up-the-ass department for once.


I also direct you to the liner notes for Frank Zappa's "You Can't Do that Onstage Anymore, Vol. 1", regarding a concert in Genoa, Italy:

"....We were performing in the city Soccer Stadium. This festive occasion was nearly spoiled by the demise of the air conditioner in the recording truck and potential gastric distress (you'd think that Christopher Colombus' hometown would have at least one good pizza place...but NOO-o-ooo! When we sent out for this rare delicacy after the sound check, the driver, who claimed to know the best pizza place in town, returned with a thoroughly frightening half-cooked sort of "food simulation" with a mound of mushrooms (from a can; in water) poured over the top of it. Tommy Mars ate it anyway.)"

[Whitacre D_WI]

50. Goddamned idiot musicians.

You get SEAFOOD in Genoa, not pizza!

Yes. I do have a bug up my ass. Wanna make something of it, punk?

On edit: yes, I got my pony. I put it on a pizza.

That was one delicious pony! :9

[RandomKoolzip]

53. Am I gonna have to reach inside to "make something of it?"

I might have to use the whole fist. "moon riiiiver......"

[Whitacre D_WI]

54. I knew it!

You ARE Andy Williams! :hi:

[RandomKoolzip]

58. No, Diamanda Galas.

It's easy to make that mistake, though.

[Whitacre D_WI]

61. That explains a lot.

Especially the "soul patch."

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

56. I dig a pony

Mmm - its a delicacy in France!

[RandomKoolzip]

59. So is SAUTEED SURRENDER MONKEY!

mmmmm...the taste of collaboration. I'm raising MY white flag right now! No, wait, that's just the napkin.


Waitress, where's my freedom rolls?

[Whitacre D_WI]

62. Do you prepare such delicacies at the "Hop's Leaf?"

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

52. Pizza comes from New Haven

Period.

[RandomKoolzip]

55. American Pizza, anyways.

The Mexican food you get here is bastardized, too, but it still fucking RULES. (I'm a Mexi-freak for chile rellenos, mole sauce, etc......)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

60. The hamburger was invented in New Haven as well as American Pizza

http://www.louislunch.com/

[Whitacre D_WI]

63. There is plenty of authentic Mexican food in the U.S.

You just have to be quick on the uptake, though, because they close in a few months -- not enough business.

[bearfan454]

36. Mr Gattis in Taylor Tx.

Cardboard crust. Shitty sauce. Chincy on ingredients. It sucks.

[Philostopher]

38. You must have missed that Cincinnati taste treat ...

Snappy Tomato Pizza. We ordered one once with some friends, it was floating in grease, everything that comes in a can that we asked for was from a can, and they might have waved a tomato over the sludgy inch-thick crust before they pitched five pounds of pseudo-cheese in the middle. The crust was burned, so I'm guessing they stuck the whole five-pound block of cheese in the dead center and then left the pizza in the oven until the cheese melted out to the margins.

LaRosa's pizza isn't anything to write home about, either, you guys are right -- they put one in up here in Centerville and tried to tart it up so people here in Dayton would think it was a tony restaurant. I told Mr. Nownow it was like putting lipstick on a pig -- the biggest sales point of LaRosa's in Cincinnati is that it's local and cheap, not that it's good.

[Whitacre D_WI]

47. Dayton's got it good with Flying Pizza.

Really. FP is probably the best pizza chain in Ohio.

Never had Snappy Tomato Pizza, but if Blue-Jay pops into this thread, I'm sure he can share stories of Readmore's pizza.

Readmore is (was?) a chain of bookstores in Springfield. Okay, "bookstores" doesn't quite cut it: they sold porn, High Times, and religious books. And pizza. That's it.

The pizza was baked wrapped in tinfoil, so the grease from the cheese and pepperoni had nowhere to go. The pizza just slid off the foil when you opened it -- and, best of all, you didn't have to chew! It just slid down your throat!

I actually kinda liked Readmore's pizza. Somewhat similar to Pizza Pit, for you Wisconsinites. Except far greasier.

[DS1]

40. Little Caeser's (Pizza Pizza) Kaneohe Hawaii

:puke:

[candy]

43. Any pizza that calls itself Hawaiian and puts pineapple on it---yuk!

[Hand]

44. Some generic crap...

That our retarded office manager ordered in on a recent Friday as an "appreciation" for the plebes in the office.

Toppings: PINEAPPLE AND HAM. DisGUSTing, man...

:puke:

[XNASA]

46. A 'Chicken & Pineapple on Cardboard Special'

From some ersatz 'pizza parlour' down in Clear Lake Texas.

Chicken, pineapple, white sauce, BBQ sauce are on my short list of ingredients that should never grace a pizza.

[K8-EEE]

67. At Disney CA Adventure Themepark...Frozen and WET!

Like, WET from being frozen? Ulimate in soggy pizza and like, not cheap of course...

[Maddy McCall]

69. Pizza Hut. Beware impatient blondes in dualies. :-)

[CBHagman]

70. Aside from unnamed frozen varieties...

...the worst I've had was in London on Kings' Road in Chelsea (bland, bland, bland) and in the Midwest (either Michigan or Ohio; I forget which). I'd describe the latter as matzoh cracker with ketchup on it.