Dookus for Veep!

[Dookus]

Well, as some of you know, I've been unemployed for awhile. Try as I might, sitting on the couch is NOT causing the job offers to roll in. So I'm expanding my horizons.

Considering I don't really like to work, I naturally started looking at the cushy jobs out there. Alas, due to very poor planning on my parents' part, hereditary monarch is out. Then I decided to go for Pope, but the current occupant of the office seems inordinately attached to the job.

Then it hit me like mackerel across the face: Vice-President! It's perfect for me. The job's been described as "not worth a pitcher of warm piss", which describes me to a T! I am more than willing to cast the occasional vote in the Senate and I promise to check the internet at least every other day to make sure the President is still kicking.

In the unlikely event that I should be called upon to take on the duties of the Presidency, I would surround myself by intelligent, motivated people from DU who would actually do the heavy lifting. Further, I would commit to indulge my sexual peccadilloes ONLY with people who can keep a secret. That is my solemn vow.

Dookus for VP - say it. Repeat it. Believe it!

I thank you for your support.

My name is Dookus, and I approved this message.

[Don_G]

1. I Found Your Campaign Manager

[Forkboy]

2. Sorry,but you take science seriously

and America can't have that :)

[Kahuna]

3. Yeah, Baby! Yeah!

[tishaLA]

4. Your position on raccoons

hinders the ticket. I'm ABD: Anybody But Dookus

[Dookus]

13. hey!

My position on raccoons has been field-tested, polled, trial-ballooned and focus grouped.

I believe in full raccoon rights, except when people are opposed.

[Book Lover]

5. Oh, c'mon

There's always an opening for Pope; you just have to wait a few decades and get real good at backstabbing....

[UTUSN]

6. Spit. That's, "a pitcher of warm SPIT."

But other than that, "Vice President Dookus" has a certain ring.

(Tip: You're an excellent and entertaining writer. Follow those keystrokes.)

[Dookus]

7. "spit"

is the bowdlerized version. I believe it was John Nance Garner who said it, and he said piss. It was reported as "spit" so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of Americans.

http://www.saidwhat.co.uk/quotes.php?id=2127

[UTUSN]

8. Well, O.K. Guess I Grew Up Bowdlerized

And this is about the third time tonight I get my arse kicked. Just desserts for my PUI posts, but reaping while sober ---ouch.

[Dookus]

9. heheh

No worries. Vice-President Dookus is the forgiving sort.

[Dookus]

12. oh...

and thank you for the compliment :)

[Guy Fawkes]

10. we've done worse....

[Dookus]

11. I think we just picked my campaign slogan!

Dookus for VP - We've Done Worse!