Douglas Adams: How to make a decent cup of tea . . .

[OneBlueSky]

The Americans are all mystified about why the English make such a big thing out of tea because most Americans have never had a good cup of tea. That's why they don't understand. In fact the truth of the matter is that most English people don't know how to make tea any more either, and most people drink cheap instant coffee instead, which is a pity, and gives Americans the impression that the English are just generally clueless about hot stimulants.

- more . . .

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A61345

[Az]

1. Never ever post that question on a computer. Particularly one on the net

The potential damage to computers across the world as more and more become enslaved to answering this inponderable question would be devestating.

[supernova]

2. Southerners know

how to make tea. :D

*sipping a fresh pot now*

[mmm]

7. Sweet Tea!

Nice

[pagerbear]

9. Arizona Ice Tea

...now has "sweet tea" in a can. I'm appalled!

[supernova]

14. Say it isn't so!

Blech! I like AZ Iced Tea fine, esp the green tea and ginseng.

But really, there's no substitute for freshly-made tea.

I put Splenda in mine instead of sugar.

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. Eww! By God, I think we DID miss the rapture,

and now we're all in hell.

Sweet tea in a can? An ass as president? Bell bottoms coming back in vogue? John Lennon gets assassinated but Billy Joel is still around? $10 scratch off NY State lottery tickets? Christian icon jewelry painted with the American flag? American Idol? People wearing numerous gold chains, over their shirts, at the same time?

Please tell me this is hell, and no longer Earth.

[Servo300]

3. Do the British like coffee?

???

Jim in S.A.

[Guy_Montag]

18. I drink more coffee, than tea...

only real coffee, not that god awful instant crap.

[0007]

4. Nothing like a good cup of tea!

[tridim]

5. Heat water, insert tea bag, wait 5 minutes, enjoy

How hard is that?

I only drink imported green tea because it's cheap and tasty plus it's really good for you. Maybe green tea is easier to make than black?

[mmm]

6. Earl Grey is made from low quality leaves

Better to drink an estate grown second flush Darjeeling
(first flush is too light and 'flowery';
third flush is too earthy). Boiling water brings out
unwanted tannins: lower the temp and do not steep too long.
Experiment and enjoy.

[EarlG]

8. See, I miss out on the whole teapot part

But the "boiling water" part is absolutely correct. I boil the water in my electric kettle, put a teabag in my mug (a DU mug, of course) and then as soon as the kettle clicks off I pour the water in. If I'm out of the room when it clicks off, I'll switch it back on and stand there until it clicks off again.

Then I smoosh the teabag around a bit, add some milk until the tea is thick and lightish brown in color, and then add two sugars. Delightful.

For best results use Tetley British Blend (or some actual imported British tea if you can get it). Forget about all that "English Breakfast" crap. I don't know what they make those teabags out of but for some reason they seem designed to keep the tea IN the bag. You have to smoosh them for ten minutes to get the tea thick enough. Good teabags should turn the tea dark brown as soon as you pour the water in. Then you smoosh them for extra brown-ness.

My parents think this is a pretty vulgar way to make tea though. They use a pot (which they warm) and don't smoosh the bags, instead letting the tea sit for a few minutes. Then they give it a quick stir and pour, and don't use too much milk.

Uh, okay, I have to go back to work now :)

[Pert_UK]

19. But you forget - milk should go in BEFORE the tea.....

if you're making tea in a pot.

Tea brews in pot, milk in cup / mug. If you add milk after the tea then you scald it (allegedly).

Call yourself a tea drinker?

P.

[SOteric]

10. George Orwell had opinions on the making of tea as well...

http://www.booksatoz.com/witsend/tea/orwell.htm

"...When I look through my own recipe for the perfect cup of tea, I find no fewer than eleven outstanding points. On perhaps two of them there would be pretty general agreement, but at least four others are acutely controversial. Here are my own eleven rules, every one of which I regard as golden:


First of all, one should use Indian or Ceylonese tea. China tea has virtues which are not to be despised nowadays — it is economical, and one can drink it without milk — but there is not much stimulation in it. One does not feel wiser, braver or more optimistic after drinking it. Anyone who has used that comforting phrase 'a nice cup of tea' invariably means Indian tea.

Secondly, tea should be made in small quantities — that is, in a teapot. Tea out of an urn is always tasteless, while army tea, made in a cauldron, tastes of grease and whitewash. The teapot should be made of china or earthenware. Silver or Britanniaware teapots produce inferior tea and enamel pots are worse; though curiously enough a pewter teapot (a rarity nowadays) is not so bad.

Thirdly, the pot should be warmed beforehand. This is better done by placing it on the hob than by the usual method of swilling it out with hot water. "

More at the above link.

[pagerbear]

11. The whole "milk in first" thing

Can't remember where I read this, but putting milk in first is/was considered a very lower-class thing to do. It's a working-class habit because for so long working-class folks couldn't afford chinaware that would withstand the shock of having hot tea hit it suddenly--they tempered it by pouring in the milk first. That wasn't a problem for the upper crust, who had only the finest china. (With or without hand-painted periwinkles!)

[denverbill]

12. I do cream first in my coffee because it doesn't curdle that way.

I assumed it was the same for tea. If you put a tiny amount of curdle-able liquid into a large amount of hot liquid, it sometimes curdles.

Never happens if you gradually warm it up by pouring the coffee into the cream.

[pagerbear]

13. Oh, I do too.

Maggie Smith would be appalled, but I doubt I'll be having tea or coffee with Maggie Smith.

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. Japanese and Chinese and other Asian tea for me

My British roommate used to bring an amazing tea from England in a round tea bag that made extraordinary tea - no idea what it was - but other than that, I'm not into any of the british or american, etc. teas. Strictly Asian. Got some great green teas when i was in Japan. And there's a wonderful smoky strong tea from Russia that I love, that I get at tealuxe.com - Russian Caravan. Yummy!!

Or herbal teas - also drink those. Especially when sick.

I'm especially fond of the Winter and Spring teas from Taiwan that one can get from Ten Ren (http://www.tenren.com) - they're about $100 a pound, but oooooooooooo so good, especially mixed half and half with white tea.

nd made in small batches in a cast iron japanese tea pot.

[BritishHuman]

17. I hope you're conforming to British Standards.

BS6008: How to Make a Cup of Tea

Tea is good. Worship the cuppa.