Make me feel better by sharing embarrassing Freudian slip stories

[Lavender Brown]

Yesterday, instead of telling my boss I was going to Kinko's, I said "Kinky's," which does not sound like a place you can get copies made. I'm practically still blushing.

Does this ever happen to you?

[nini]

1. LOL..

that's funny. I hope your boss has a sense of humor!

[Lavender Brown]

4. The boss seems to have forgotten already

I think everyone in the office heard me and is still laughing about it. It's stupid, I'm so easily embarrassed. Oh well.

[GOPisEvil]

2. OK, it was my senior year in high school.

We're reading a play (I forget which one), and various members of the class are reading as different characters. My character, speaking to another male character, is supposed to ask, "Do you love like a man?". Instead, I ask, "Do you love ME like a man?"

Whoops. *blush*

[nini]

5. yeah baby.....

how long did it take to live that down?


:D

[m-jean03]

14. Oh, I'm laughing so hard David Lee!

That's hilarious. :7 :7

[Skittles]

23. oh please, like you don't ask Matcom that all the time

:7

[GOPisEvil]

24. I don't have to ask.

I know! :7

[OneBlueSky]

3. when I was in sixth grade . . .

(oh so many moons ago), I recall one day when the class was being particularly unruly . . . the teacher, who was trying to grade some tests or something, kept calling for quiet to no avail . . . finally, she slammed her pencil down, stood up, and said in a very loud and firm voice: "SHIT in your seats and be quiet!" . . . she was very embarassed . . .

[pagerbear]

6. Rehearsing Cosi fan Tutte

...in grad school. I was singing Ferrando. In the finale, when all the deception is unmasked, Ferrando kneels before his love and sings "You are my goddess, I kneel before you" (in the crappy Ruth & Thomas Martin translation), mocking her with a snippet from an earlier scene in the opera (apparently from an earlier draft, because the part that is being quoted doesn't survive in any performing edition I know of, but that's beside the point).

I knelt and solemnly sang, "I am your goddess, you kneel before me!" I had no idea why people started laughing until someone told me what I'd sung!

[Rainbowreflect]

7. When I was in high school I was in our church youth group.

We would go to the retirement homes to do services. We would sing hymns and do little skits. One of the girls who has the most beautiful voice would lead all the songs.
There is this hymn, I don't remember the name, but the words are "When I fall on my knees with my face to the rising sun, Oh Lord have mercy on me". Well, she starts singing, loud & strong "When I fall on my face with my knees to the rising sun, Oh Lord have mercy on me." We were all rolling. She was so red.

[BurtWorm]

8. How about a Freudian *mishearing* story?

I don't think Freud ever specifically addressed how people mishear things in a very revealing way, just as they revealingly mispeak. You rarely ever find instances of it in other people unless they respond as though what they misheard is accurate, and we probably don't notice it in ourselves unless we find out for sure somehow how wrong our hearing was.

This is something that happened to a friend of mine that never fails to crack me up when I think about it. He was at social work school working on his doctorate. It's usually a solitary existence, but through various functions, he got to know some of the personalities in his program. One was a radical Queer activist--not a close friend, but someone whose activism made him well known among his colleagues.

One afternoon, my friend went to a cafeteria on campus where this activist and some others in the program happened to be eating, so my friend, not wanting to be antisocial, joined them. They were in the middle of some animated discussion which my friend, who is a little hard of hearing in one ear, didn't quite catch. At one point, my friend thought he heard the activist ask something like, "Who knows a straight white male?" So my friend piped up, "I'm a straight white male!"

My friend's colleagues must have given him some prize-winning :wtf: looks. What the Queer activist had actually said was something like, "Who likes white bread and mayo?"

[ChickMagic]

9. Not a Freudian slip

but just as embarrassing! Maybe moreso. A very good friend of mind was wearing an empire waist dress with pleats. You know what's coming, don't you? I asked her if she was pregnant! I know one should never, ever do that even if they're about to pop. I cussed a blue streak to myself!

[Lavender Brown]

10. Empire waist dresses make most women look pregnant

They should be avoided (outside of Jane Austen movies) just to avoid these kind of incidents :)

[HalfManHalfBiscuit]

22. Excellent. My co-worker did a similar thing.

He commented on a picture in another guy's office - "Is that your mother?"

Of course it was his wife. We still laugh about it years later.

[Burma Jones]

11. High School English, Senior Year

Our Teacher, a fine man and very good teacher, was reading poems written by the class. One poem, written by a gorgeous girl, had the line "A loaf of soft brown bread" Our teacher read "A loaf of soft brown BED" Naturally, we all yelled "freudian slip" figuring that he, like a lot of the guys in the class, wanted to bed this beauty...

[Whitacre D_WI]

12. I was looking for my co-worker, Richard.

Couldn't find him. Went to take a leak, and there he was, in the men's room.

Said: "Oh, so THIS is where Dick's been hanging out."

Stunned silence filled the room.

[tigereye]

18. on here that would have made perfect sense though

that was funny

[Parrcrow]

13. Some fundraising copy I had written was...

Being taught at a college as an example of 'innovative marketing technique'. I always note that in a cover letter when sending out resumes. On one occasion I wrote in the cover letter that the college was teaching my 'innovative sexual technique'.

Obviously I didn't get the job, but you'd think that I would have least gotten an interview.

[Jokerman]

15. Said "Halloween" when I should have said "Valentines Day"

While referring to a dance that I really didn't want to attend.

[loafie]

16. I used to work the concession stand at a movie theater

one man wanted reeses pieces but it came out as reeses penis. We both turned bright red and pretended he hadn't said it.

[Red State Rebel]

17. My sister has the best story!

She is a gardener like myself - a big plant person. She went to the local nursery to find a plant and when she spotted the salesperson she promptly asked her "do you have a clitoris?". The woman looked at her funny and said "did you mean clivia?" and proceeded to show her where they were. My sister said she was so embarassed she went straight to her car and left. She has been too embarassed to go back there again.

[tigereye]

19. that is really good

I must be giddy today, everything like that is making me laugh.

[newsguyatl]

20. mine happened in madrid, spain in 1996

while i was still in high school.

we were all there at a mcdonald's and i was trying to order a grilled chicken sandwich... for those of you who don't know spanish, you have to match up the last letter of the adjective with the corresponding noun with either an o or an a... i ordered a "polla asada" instead of a "pollo asado"...


the difference? the first means "grilled dick" (male part) -- the guy behind the counter lost it -- and could barely compose himself.

[Red State Rebel]

21. Pastor got wound up....

talking about the problems Satan can throw in your path, but instead of Satan's fiery darts, it came out Satan's fiery farts.

The entire congregation cracked up.