I'm proof-reading my work experience student's first article...

[HEyHEY]

Yikes! Is this what my journalism faculty had to deal with when I started out?
No- I was probably much worse.

But she does have potential all in all it's pretty good for a first time.

However, now, I have to figure out how to tactfully change it all. :-)

[GOPisEvil]

1. Be positive.

There has to be something good about it, right? Start there. Then work on areas to be improved. And, give helpful suggestions not just criticism.

[HEyHEY]

2. I'll phone her and say - what is this crap you handed me?

No, it's funny, I see sooo much of the things I did at first - editorializing, usless facts, and wierd phrases abound!

[Wickerman]

3. If you can, leave some of the weird phrasing in

when its in print and she reads it it will stick out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of the paper. There is no way she will not "get it" after a few of those events.

[HEyHEY]

4. good point

My favourite is when people use "stated"

As in "He stated that"

I get this mental picture of a guy walking into a room....saying a fact in a robot voice....then walking out.

[Wickerman]

9. yep, that is an easy one to fall into

particularly when you cover something that is as dry as a bunch a robots in a room. I use "noted" too much. Smith noted that city revenues increased by 1% for the quarter, historically on track for the preceding 482 quarters - its really no fucking surprise, nothing ever changes in this piss-ant little town - hell the population has been stuck at 3,428 for the last 127 years, right after the railroad decided to bypass us and go to Putztown instead...

[flamingyouth]

10. I also like things like, "the company feels that..."

Like companies have feelings. The stated thing is a big pet peeve with me too.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

5. "Write like you're talking to a 10 year old."

Was the first thing we were told when we started writing for the paper in college. Journalism was my first major. And it's helped me so much with all the papers I've written...only now I can't write anything worth a crap unless I wait until the night before and have a ton of pressure. God, I miss those days of up late, up early, layout, edit, edit, edit. I guess I'll have to live vicariously through you, HEyHEY.
Duckie

[HEyHEY]

6. Trust me there's enough suffering to go around on production day

You can have as much as you want.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

7. I wish....

I wonder if I could get on with a mag with a Criminal Justice Degree and still be able to write crap about celebs or fashion? I really don't like Investigating shit. LOL
Duckie

[HEyHEY]

8. I like investigating - but I rarely have the time!