I picked the lock and am opening the Grotto to the masses

[VelmaD]

Hey everybody. Short bus forgot to gimme the keys before he went prowling for chicks so I jimmied the lock. Come on in the water's fine.


I had a long rough day at work and lock-picking is tiring. So let's get nekkid and get this party started.


The first round of drinks is on me. Now where's that cabana boy with my Margarita...

Darth Velma

[leftist_rebel1569]

1. YAY!

It's SOOOOOOO Ball Pit time....

[VelmaD]

2. Hey little bit...

You just make sure you STAY in that all pit and keep those eyes down. ;-)

DV

[leftist_rebel1569]

3. (rolls eyes) Fine...

now, where the hell did Short Bus go?

[VelmaD]

4. He's out cruisin' for chicks.

He might be back later but he might not. ;-)

[leftist_rebel1569]

5. Sounds like he's gonna have fun...

wanna make a bet on if he picks up someone or not? :D

[VelmaD]

6. No gambling...

didn't I already corrupt you enough yesterday honey? :-)

Your momma is gonna hunt me down and hurt me.

DV

[leftist_rebel1569]

7. psh! My mom doesn't care

about gambling, honest...she lets me gamble if I want. Anyways, i'm thinking he's gonna get lucky and find someone....

[Droopy]

8. Gimme a shot of Jack and a bottle of Bud

I'm starting things of with a bang tonight!

Say, I like this little pond here. Got any fish in there?

[VelmaD]

9. Woohoo...finally...

another grown-up! Welcome.

Sorry, no fish (though you might see some albino salamanders lurking in the corners).

Hop on in the water's nice and warm and bubbly.

*snap snap* waitress bring this man his drinks and put a wiggle in it. ;-)

DV

[Droopy]

10. You know the old Droopster appreciates a nice wiggle

Kinda makes me wiggle, too. Only in a different way.

:beer:

You know, I forgot my swimming trunks tonight, but I think I'll hop right on in anyway. I think that shot went straight to my head.

[VelmaD]

11. Swimming trunks?

There are no swimming trunks in the Grotto baby.

The kiddies have been segregated over in the Ball Pit so it's all Adult Swim here in the hot spring.

And if that shot went to your head...then come sit next to me. ;-)

DV

[Droopy]

14. *Droopy does a doggy paddle on over to Velma*

You know, I was thinking about this place. This is the first time I've been here and all. I was thinking about how nice it is here. The atmosphere. It kinda makes me think of ancient Greece with all the stone stuff and stuff. I was sort of having an epiphany about how wonderful life is. About how mysterious it all is. I get kind of philosophical when I get a few drinks in me. But I can't help but think just how beautiful everything is.

[VelmaD]

15. Droopy...are you chatting me up?

Cause in a couple more margaritas I'll nod and giggle and agree with anything you say. ;-)

And dude, you said doggy...paddle *snort*

DV

[Droopy]

18. Yeah, didn't you know Droopy is a dog ? ;-)

A cute little dog with a horrible case of low esteem.

[VelmaD]

19. The healing waters...

and lovely company in the Grotto will fix that right up.

DV

[short bus president]

22. Ah, the bus has arrived

and he grows jealous.

<pout>

[VelmaD]

24. You're so cute...

when you growl.

And I had to do something til you got here to start the 500th post festivities. ;-)

DV

[short bus president]

26. yes

I think my old network card needs to be punished severely for the crappening of my day.

[leftist_rebel1569]

12. there was a fish last night...

a shark. I jumped in and took it out and saved everyone's life! YAY FOR ME! And now...back to the ball pit...(sigh)...

[VelmaD]

13. Yup. Go You!

Won't be happening again tonight though. Short bus went too easy on Lady Freedon about that 'cause he wants in her pants. But it's my Grotto now...bwahahahaha.

You're so cute when you heave that big teenager-y sigh. *pinches Leftist Rebel's cheek*

DV

[leftist_rebel1569]

16. awww....

you make me feel like a cute little baby...

a cute little superhero baby...lol

And yeah, Short Bus did go really easy on Lady Freedom. But Short Bus is a man of the ladies...which reminds me, I wonder how he's doing...

[VelmaD]

17. Well, he ain't back yet...

so I'm thinking that bodes well for our boy short bus.

And god knows I hope he pulls. I could use the night off. *rubs bottom* ;-)

DV

[leftist_rebel1569]

20. the night off?

Hey, i'll take over if you want me to...

Edit: Nevermind, he's back...

[VelmaD]

27. 2 years...

7 months and 5 days little bit. :-)

Til then have fun in the Ball Pit. *ruffles Leftist Rebel's hair* You're such a cutie.

DV

[leftist_rebel1569]

28. YAY! I'm a cutie!

I'm going back to the ball pit all happy! Time to drown in opaquely primary-colored balls...




God, I forgot how lonely it is here, no one hangs out here other than me...:(

[short bus president]

21. Someone pour me something squishy!

I need some hell-a-beverage tonight.

[VelmaD]

23. I got something squishy...

for ya baby.

Plop down and tell us all about it sugar.

DV

[short bus president]

25. Lemme just say

that Freddy v. Jason sucked ass.

And the mother-daughter fantasy lives on in dreamspace only. Sigh.

[Lady Freedom]

29. Warning to all men....

This grotto is bad for your manhood! How do I know? We have had a sexual position thread and SBP has yet put his 2 cents in!!!!!!

[VelmaD]

30. that's because we're still doing research

exhaustive research at that, here in the Grotto. Gotta be thorough before stating his favorite position definitively. ;-)

DV

[short bus president]

31. I just got here, hon!

Been out fightin' traffic for the past hour and a half. And suffering through a TRULY AWFUL movie before that.

[Lady Freedom]

33. For the last 3 days???

Now thats what I call traffic!

[leftist_rebel1569]

32. (sigh)...

you and your sabatage...I can see it from my ball pit! Don't make me play superhero again! :P

edit: forgot tounge emoticon

[short bus president]

34. OK, I'm settled down now

anybody have a hairbrush I can borrow?

[VelmaD]

35. hang on...lemme look

*digs through bag*

Cd player...sunscreen...checkbook...bus pass...mirror...lube...uh, beads *blushes*...ah, here we go...hairbrush.

*looks at short bus in confusion*

But baby, you don't have any hair.

[short bus president]

37. love the innocent act, babe

that's 5 extra, on top of the 10 extra for opening the Grotto without me. <sniffle> I HATE missing out on the fun.

OK, so 515 it is. How 'bout you get that brush ready for me before you hand it over?

[VelmaD]

39. I though I was getting some more extras...

for telling Aristus about my shoes too. ;-)

And I got that hairbrush all sticky for ya just the way you like it. (Can't tell you how or where - Little Bit is still peeking over from the Ball Pit.)

[short bus president]

41. nicely done

I appreciate your efforts. So we're at 525 now, right?

Over the knee, babe. And no losing count, or we start over from the top.

[VelmaD]

43. Umm...I hate to admit it...

but I was a bad girl and didn't learn German instead of working this afternoon. *hangs head*

Am I gonna have to trade more licks for getting to count in English?

[short bus president]

44. licks

are another matter entirely. And they can only be apportioned out by the Cosmos. Whacks, on the other hand, are my territory.

This handle is not nearly sticky enough. *snap* *snap* "Server! Sandpaper, please. Medium grit."

[VelmaD]

47. I was using "licks"...

in the naughty schoolgirl bent over the principal's desk sense of the word.

*gulp* Sandpaper?

[short bus president]

48. You're gonna have to hold the hairbrush for me again

for a minute or two, here. Hands on the floor. This could get a little gritty.

[VelmaD]

49. eep...

squeak...

Um...gritty...what exactly are you doing back there anyway?

[short bus president]

50. just priming the surface

a master painter must know his canvas.

So, start yer countin' hon. And don't flub it. <whack>

[VelmaD]

56. One...

and is that all you got baby?

You hit like a girl. :9

[short bus president]

57. handkerchief, belt, balled up somethin' or other,

or my sewing kit, dear?

[Lady Freedom]

58. Oh so now she gets the kit??????

Me and her are going to have to have a talk!!!!!!!!!!!

[short bus president]

60. fight! fight!

Deevee, you have my permission to rise to face this challenge.

[VelmaD]

63. "on your knees"...

"rise to face this challenge"...up or down but make up your fuckin' mind.

*mutters* Goddamn indecisive pseudo-top

[Lady Freedom]

67. Oh I'll get you up!!!!!!

[VelmaD]

71. Wow, what a party

And all for me.

Baby-doll you're just gonna have to wait til short bus is done and then I'm all yours (and your flogger's *shiver*)

[Lady Freedom]

77. Why wait?

My cat-o-nine tails can do you both!

[short bus president]

79. Sorry for that, hon

There'll be no lashing out at me this evening. Save yer frustrations for Deevee. And I hope she'll show a little more restraint with her smartmouth when it's your turn. I remember how hard you play. Don't make me wanna pity the girl.

[Lady Freedom]

82. I'm just going to have a little fun!

:evilgrin: What harm can that do?

[short bus president]

84. We'll find out.

I'm videotaping.

[Lady Freedom]

86. Good thing That I wore my Xena suit!

[VelmaD]

87. Because...

anticipation is fun.

Because if you wait your turn I can spend all night getting beaten.

Because once you start smacking short bus around he loses focus easily.

Because when you start on me I'd prefer to have your attention all to myself.

Any of those good enough for ya.

[Lady Freedom]

89. Good enough

to all!

[VelmaD]

61. but honey...

if you gag me or sew my mouth shut then how am I gonna keep counting?

And you know you really wanta hear that ragged scream when we get to number 523. ;-)

[short bus president]

64. Right you are

and maddening as ever to backtalk at me.

Screw the hairbrush. You, up right quick - run down to the barn and get me the steel sweatcomb. And put some jiggle in yer step, hon. ;-)

[VelmaD]

65. snort...jiggle...

you just wanta watch the boobies bounce. ;-)

Fine...but make Leftist Rebel close his eyes...I've gotta run right by the Ball Pit.

[short bus president]

66. Don't fall in!

The poor kid'll explode.

[VelmaD]

68. but he'd die happy

I had to kick at him to keep him from dragging me in with him, but I'm back with the sweat-comb.

[short bus president]

70. And I'll be waiting with it

whilst you get into yon scrapping with the Lady Freedom.

Fight! Fight!

[VelmaD]

73. Oh, I'm a lover...

not a fighter. She's just gonna have to wait her turn to wail on me. You got here first. *smooches*

[short bus president]

75. Smooches will get you

told to bend over and grab yer ankles. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Now this might sting a little. *snort* "a little!" *snort*

[Lady Freedom]

76. Why You !!!!!

What about me!!! I want some SBP special fun too!!!

[short bus president]

81. OK, OK

when you're done with Velma, I should be rested and ready for some more fun. Look me up, if she doesn't wear you out.

[VelmaD]

78. but it's something...

I'll get used to. ;-) (A Tool quote for any occasion.)

TWO!

[short bus president]

83. *snap* *snap* "Server!"

"Bring me a Red Stripe please, with a wedge of lime."

And speaking of red stripes - man - this thing raises a real good welt! <smack>

[VelmaD]

85. 3!

Ungh...you getting pictures of this? We both know someone who'd pay for 'em.

At this rate I'm gonna be to 1000 posts before we get done. ;-)

[short bus president]

88. Mm-hmm. Crafty.

start again at one, please.

<whack!>

[Lady Freedom]

90. When is it my turn!

I want some fun too!

[short bus president]

92. Jeezuz!

Deevee, wouldja get up for a second and flog this impertinent girl?

I wanna watch.

[Lady Freedom]

94. about time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

[VelmaD]

95. dammit...

I'm not saying this again - this is the last time. This is my party and no one - I repeat NO ONE - is gettng beaten EXCEPT ME.

Now back to work.

[Lady Freedom]

96. Fine then...

tell him to move over me and my whip are wanting so fun too!!!!

[VelmaD]

98. Like he does..

anything I tell him to on a good day.

Pay attention - today is toppy short bus day. Try again tomorrow when it's his turn under the whip. ;-)

[VelmaD]

91. what the hell did I do...

to end up back at one?

ONE!

[Lady Freedom]

93. Shor Bus!!!!!!!!...

stop taking your time!!!!

[short bus president]

97. Hon, yer gonna have to

wait your turn, really. No jumping in line.

It's Deevee's special day, and I feel the need to devote some extra special attention to making it memorable for her. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

100. Ha!

You want to hog all the fun your self! I want to play! waaaaaaa!

[short bus president]

102. Well, I'm sure

there are any number of gentlemen around who could keep you occupied 'til I'm free. How 'bout that motorcycle ridin' guy with the non-funyon-compatible hardware?

[short bus president]

99. How hast thou offended? let me count the ways...

after I finish rendering your ass.

Hmmmm... ass tartar...

<smack!>

[VelmaD]

101. TWO!

Again...and pay attention this time.

Ass tartar..snort. Freak.

[short bus president]

103. <whack> <whack> <WHACK> <WHACK> <WHACK!!!>

<SMACK>

Ooh - pretty speckles!

[VelmaD]

107. Three!

Four!!

Five!!! *gulp*

SIX! *grunt*

SEVEN!!! *unh*

EIGHT!!!!GODDAMMIT

Ok, ok, I'll be good, I'll be good. ;-) Just don't get distracted by the pretty speckles. Stay focused baby.

[Lady Freedom]

109. paceing the grotto!

I want a turn dame it!!!!!!!!

[short bus president]

110. *snap* *snap*

"Bottle of bourbon and a clean bar towel, please." Someone needs a little wiping off, and we might as well make it burn.

But while I'm waiting... <whack> <whack> <smack> <SMACK!> - uh, "hurry up with that towel and bourbon, please?"

[Lady Freedom]

111. Now can I use my whip on her?

hu hu please?

[short bus president]

112. patience

watch and wait.

[Lady Freedom]

114. DeeVee? can't I play?

Please, please? O8)

[short bus president]

116. Ahem!

Please address your concerns to me while Deevee is otherwise indisposed. I have not granted her permission to accept your gracious offer, and I'm fairly certain she needs my special focus and undivided attention right this moment.

[VelmaD]

113. NINETENELEVENTWELVE!!!

owieowieowie

bourbon? eep

[short bus president]

115. Sure, it stings a little

*snurt* "a little!" *snurt*

But it's important to keep things clean and mostly sterile. BTW, is horse sweat sterile? You may have a souvenir from tonight, hon. Oops.

[VelmaD]

117. $%&*!

that stings *eyes roll back in head*

I'll live...just don't fuck up the tattoos.

[short bus president]

118. Aw, concerned for the arts?

Don't worry - I'm a lover of the arts, too. You should see the painting I'm giving you.

Hm. You clean up nice. Let's fix that. <whack> <smack> <SMACK!> <SLASH> <splatter> Hmmm. Red raindrops keep fallin' on my head!

[VelmaD]

119. mmm...Thirteen...

Fourteen *purr*

Fifteen *hiss*

Sixteen *ngah*

SEVENTEEN! OWOWOWOWOW!

[Lady Freedom]

120. This is going to take forever!

good night!

[short bus president]

122. nite hon!

Look me up tomorrow. ;-)

[short bus president]

121. Shhh! You'll scare the

kids in the ball pit!

OK, OK... another whiskey wipedown and I think maybe you've had enough. Gawd but I made such a pretty mess! We'll continue this at another time - you've still got well over 500 strokes coming.

Now, would you prefer a nice soothing dip in the hot tub, or a more personal kind of rubdown? <lick>

[VelmaD]

123. wanta dip in the hot tub

*settles into the warm water and puts head on your shoulder*

Wake me up when the Grotto opens again tomorrow. 'k?

Night sweetie. *smooches*

[short bus president]

124. Yes, dear.

I hope you have no permanent hard feelings over tonight. <inhalingdeeply> I think I could do the sleep thing now, too.

Ahhhhhhh...

;-)

[Lady Freedom]

104. At lest with...

a cat of nine tails you ge pretty red stipes! Not a tartar ass!

[short bus president]

105. Deevee

needs some deeper-seated pain tonight. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

106. Maybe I should...

show ypu some deeper-seated pain if I don't get a turn soon!

[short bus president]

108. I told ya'

tonight is not for lashing out at me. If you're wanting a spanking of your own, kindly take a number, but I will not be gettin' whacked this evening. The great and powerful bus has spoken!

[Lady Freedom]

51. WHAT?????!!!!

:nuke: She gets sandpaper????? :err:

Now this is realy unfair!!!!!!!

[short bus president]

52. don;t worry hon

I'm saving the belt sander for you. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

55. GOOD!!!!

:evilgrin:

[GOPisEvil]

53. Somebody say sandpaper?

[short bus president]

54. you been smokin'

in my garage again, Wooderson?

[GOPisEvil]

59. Dude...I saw Drive By Truckers tonight...and I have a damned contact high!

Whoever was in front of me had some REALLY GOOD :smoke:

[short bus president]

62. I'm jealous

I saw Freddy v. Jason tonight. But I got a little contact high, myself.

[Lady Freedom]

36. If I do...

can I spank you with it?

[short bus president]

38. please take a number

line forms to the left.

:P

[VelmaD]

40. Hey...

this is my 500th post celebration party. No one is getting spanked around here tonight but me goddammit. ;-)

DV

[Lady Freedom]

42. Thats not fair!!!!!!!!

No one gave me a party!!!!! :evilfrown:

[VelmaD]

45. I am so sorry...

you got hosed sister.

But I promise, when you hit 1500 we'll paddle you til you can't sit down. *smooches*

DV

[short bus president]

46. Ahem!

I take exception to that comment. ;-)

[leftist_rebel1569]

69. ball pit, ball pit...

I really like the ball pit
i'm half crazy...for the ball pit
It won't be a stylish...okay, i'm stopping

Good night DU!

[short bus president]

72. g'night LR!

Hope you had great fun with the balls tonight. ;-)

[VelmaD]

74. pervert that line...

*snort*

And he's a hormone-driven 15 year-old. Of course he had fun with the balls tonight. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

80. Tune in for confessions at...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?

To talk about what you think about the Grotto!