Dispatch from my focus group

[eyesroll]

OK, so last night, I took a break from politics and attended a focus group. (I posted about this a few days ago.)

About makeup.

Those of you who know me understand I am in no way qualified to speak about makeup, and my interest in cosmetics ranks somewhere between my interest in the in-field fly rule and my interest in the comparative merits of lager versus ale (but I can fake baseball and beer better than I can fake foundation). If I spent more $30 on makeup last year, I'd be surprised.

But, they were paying me $50 and giving me dinner. So, I went.

I was part of the "twentysomething" group...I was the oldest by almost three years (except for the moderator), and the longest-tenured in my career field by more than four years. Immediately, "Creep" crept into my head. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here...

I don't go to clubs. My hobby is not rollerblading. (We were asked, and my answer was predictable, as was the moderator's reply: "Politics. Wow. I don't think anyone's ever said that before. You gonna run for something?") I don't think I've ever set foot in a day spa (if I have, it was to ask directions to the nearest SuperCuts). I am perfectly willing to spend $30 on a bottle of wine, but balk at spending more than $4 on a lipstick. I identify much more strongly with my 30- to 40-year-old Gen X peers than my 20-29 decade-mates, and last night was a prime example (nothing against you young 'uns -- I'm just prematurely old).

I knew this when one of the 23-year-olds in the group mentioned "hides fine lines" as something that won't get her attention until she's "like 30 or so."

I should also add I'm pretty immune to marketingese. We reviewed several different ad mock-ups for a new foundation. The company wanted to emphasize purity. Fine. All well and good. One suggested tagline? "Over 50% pure water!"

Um. The human body is over 50% water. So is every other foundation in existance -- and I'm sure they filter their water, too.

It got pretty warm in there. I think I was getting a little unstable.

We brainstormed names for the water product; most dealt with the word "water" and its foreign-language equivalents. ("Agua fresca!" "AquaFresh!" "Wait, isn't that a toothpaste?")

I suggested "aquavit." Swedish vodka. The water of life. Then, I suggested just using vodka, since that translates as "water." The weird stares started. I was getting slap happy.

Then, we started going into the "basics" direction. I suggested "elements," and the moderator said, "oh, you mean like breaking it down to its smallest part." "Well, then, maybe atoms. Or quarks, then."

I can picture the people behind the one-way glass, writing "oh, dear lord, that old chick is nerding it up," which is what I tend to do in most situations.

The moderator wrote "quark" on the chart.

If you see Quark Foundation in a store, buy some and blame me, and apologize to the guy who no doubt lost his job because of it.

So, the moral of the story (besides don't call me for cosmetics surveys any more)? I think this carries over politics (can't get away from it for too long). Not all 20-somethings respond well to youth-oriented marketing (John Kerry -- I'm also talking to you). There is something between "won't clog pores with all of that gunk and junk that causes pimples" and "get yer wrinkle cream here," something between "John Kerry can shake it like a Polaroid picture" and "paying for prescription drugs is tough when you're on a fixed retirement income."

Whether it's makeup or a candidate, try marketing to adults as adults.

It was really quiet when we left, until one of the women (25, a new nursing graduate) remarked in the elevator, "your outlook is so ... interesting. You must have an ... interesting life."

But I got my $50.

And the name Reagan didn't come up once.

[GOPisEvil]

1. OK - that was funny!

If I ever see "Quark" on any cosmetic, I am going to bust a gut.

Your moral is quite correct. Don't try to fake people out by THINKING you know all about them. Just talk to them like normal adults, and don't bullshit.

[flamingyouth]

2. This is hilarious!!

And the funniest thing is, I probably WOULD by Quark foundation! Sounds like something Tony & Tina would make! :D

This line cracked me up: "Your outlook is so ... interesting. You must have an ... interesting life." LOL, I think people have actually said this to me before.

[eyesroll]

4. The thing is -- I would too...

It's clear that the other 8 or so women in the group wouldn't.

I won't be buying anything that uses 50% water as its marketing point, though.

[Lars39]

3. LOL!!!

"oh, dear lord, that old chick is nerding it up," :D I've never quite fit in with my generation either.

[ClassWarrior]

5. Having sat behind the one-way glass...

Hey Eyes. Howzit going?

Having sat behind that proverbial one-way glass on more than one occasion, I would have loved to had a group with you in it. Of course, I'm in the creative part of the ad business. I'm sure the folks in the suits would have had a different reaction.

Anyway, great job giving them something to think about.

[eyesroll]

6. Thanks CW!

Hope you're well, and thanks.

I've done other focus groups -- one was for the "environmental footprint" people, and that was basically a two-hour discussion about politics and current events. My only snark in that one was when the moderator asked after an hour and a half, "so, based on our discussion, what do you think we're reviewing today?" (We knew we would be evaluating a mission statement and brochure for some issue-oriented group, but the discussion veered every which way.)

I said, "Abortion."
Moderator: "Why do you think so?"
Me: "Because it's always about abortion. Read the Letters to the Editor section of any major newspaper for a week and you'll know what I mean."

That was an easy $80. I usually talk politics for free.

[SheilaT]

7. The only focus groups I get paid for

are things like test-tasting chicken stew. Or taking home different kinds of zip-lock bags. Why can't I get a make-up one?

I did once participate in a focus group about toilet paper maybe 18 years ago (when I lived in Phoenix). It was fun watching the ads.

[eyesroll]

8. Try registering with a bunch of market-research firms in your area

They'll call you with a fun one eventually.

I actually turn down many of them -- they're disproportionately about cleaning products, and I write about the commercial janitorial industry for a living, and thus know way too much about the R&D side of cleaning products than they would want. (I'm sure they don't want a long diatribe about improper floor-finish polymer chemistry when the question is just, "does it shine?") They don't actually disqualify me, but I disqualify myself.

[SheilaT]

9. I'm registered with the one

marketing group I know of, and I hear from them every so often, although now that I'm 55, the calls are fewer. Once one of my sons made $25 testing out some kind of toy.