You must now address me as the Reverend DS1

[DS1]

I am now an ordained Minister of the Universal Life Church.

Click me

[flamingyouth]

1. Me too

I've actually married people!

[DS1]

2. Hey, I've buried people

:evilgrin:

[flamingyouth]

7. OK, you win!

(Damn you....!)

[sniffa]

3. this is ripe for a copy cat thread

[DS1]

4. That would be blasphemous

as if they weren't in the first place :spank:

[THUNDER HANDS]

5. wow, like Al Sharpton!

Do you have cool hair too?

[DS1]

6. It's curly in the rain

:shrug:

Perhaps I've have 'da big guy' do me a solid and hit me with lightning, and we'll see what happens to my hair...

[dolo amber]

10. May I send you

a lime green velour tracksuit? :D

[iconoclastic cat]

11. Oo! Oo! I want one! I want one!

And platform shoes!

[TrogL]

8. Heresy!!!

[DS1]

9. Off to hell with you! Disbeliever!

:grr:

[GOPisEvil]

12. Nice to meet you, your Eminence.

I'll remember you if I ever need the services of a man of the cloth.

[Lithos]

13. I thought that was yes your Impotence!

;)

[DS1]

15. Silence! Or face my staff of contrition!

:spank:

[DS1]

14. I will bless your golf clubs, my child

:hi:

[TX-RAT]

17. I've heard about his game

Divine intervention won't help.

[GOPisEvil]

18. Heh...it's not the clubs either...it's the golf balls...

THEY have a mind of their own. x(

[TX-RAT]

20. Can't buy good balls anymore,

[greatauntoftriplets]

16. Bless me Reverend....

...for I have sinned!

:evilgrin:

[DS1]

40. Only if you felt good afterwards

:spank:

[livinginphotographs]

19. I got that done a few years ago.

I was actually slated to marry two of my friends, but in Virginia, you have to spend like $500 to get registered as clergy.

And since the church hasn't tapped a huge market that's out there, I will by marrying gay couples. Think about it: I can operate without any competition whatsoever from other churches, and I'll make a fortune! :P

[DS1]

24. Move up to MA like me. Couple our laws with some Enron accounting

I'll be able to marry myself to arwalden :7

[SOteric]

21. Uhmmm... are you sure about these acts of contrition...?

One or two of them seem as though they should be on the 'sin' list...

[DS1]

22. My authority is not open to debate

You've just been moved to the front of the line :spank:

[tsakshaug]

23. I was ordained

last week sometime.

Amen

[Magrittes Pipe]

25. I have been a ULC minister for the past 10 years.

Shit, I'm probably a bishop by now.

Wanna pet the bishop?

[DS1]

27. hmmm.

My first assassination accident victim to provide last rites.

[buddhamama]

26. Dearest Most Benevolent Reverend DS1

I have sinned and I feel no guilt for having done so.

Will you bless me and,
thwart any who would try and persuade me to walk on the path
of righteousness and light?

[DS1]

28. It's about time someone had the courage and step up.

You are forgiven, no encouraged, to commit further guiltless sin.

In fact, if you lay your head down for sleep without committing sin, I want you to come back and beg for forgiveness. :spank:

[alvis]

29. Go for the upgrade

Become a Beer Minister.

http://www.beerchurch.com/ordination.htm

Looks like they are charging now. I was ordained back when it was free.

:toast:

[LynneSin]

30. I found the Church sign advertising Rev DS1's first sermon:

[DS1]

31. My Church wouldn't dare spell it wrong. Off to hell with you!!

:spank:

[LynneSin]

32. Even Dubya wants you to forgive him!

[DS1]

33. Not while he's busy uniting

:puke:

[LynneSin]

34. I was going to take a picture with a weird smirk on his face

but the dog was too tempting for this purpose!!

[DS1]

35. When he's done uniting, I'm going to command him to

eat Ronald Reagan.

That's correct, don't ~ever~ elect me to public office. I am a powermad tyrant.

[underpants]

36. Oh Rev'rend

You might feel the sudden urge to rip off old ladies.

[DS1]

39. There are no old ladies

Just recycling candidates

[matcom]

37. Praise Jebus!

and KISS OFF! i ain't puttin' NUTTIN' in your collection plate so

DON'T ASK!!

:D

[DS1]

38. You must be thinking of someone else

I don't ask for ANYTHING!!!

Just your loyalty and arriving for meetings 5 minutes early...

[matcom]

41. so, you mean to tell me that when i die....

YOU will be the first one to greet me? :scared:

:D

[DS1]

43. I'll be the last person you see....

Sinner! :spank:

[terrya]

42. I got a glass of water here. Turn it into wine.

Let's see you work a miracle. :-)

And a red wine, please. A Merlot would be nice.

Thanks
Terry

[DS1]

44. Sorry, the Church does not recognize your flavor of linux

Go away :spank: