I finally broke down and cried last night

[mopaul]

been watching the stupid pass the awful old man's coffin for a week now, and never once did i feel the slightest shred of sorrow or sympathy for the passing of this bastard.

but, when i heard about ray, i lost it. my son was just leaving for work for the evening and i saw the news on the web. i hung on for about a minute till my son was gone, and i felt it building uncontrollably.

i rolled my chair over into the corner and broke down hard, maybe for the first time in my whole miserable life. i made a scene, i embarrassed myself and it took 10 minutes for me to calm down. i cried like a baby.

and i thought about all the grief being wasted on reagan, who was a fucking nazi bastard, who murdered millions and starved the poor.
i thought about honoring the dead, and grief, and how to feel when a great man passes.

and in between my sobs and wails, i heard ray singing 'america the beautiful', and a thousand other songs, many of which i myself have been singing to people for over 35 years. i'm a blues/jazz musician myself, and nobody, nobody represents more of a god to me than ray.

and last night, i felt ray's soul pass through me, and it was hard.
it still hurts hard. my eyes well up. i begin to choke, but it passes. i may never break down again like that for all my days, i don't know. i've never been so moved by the news of the death of someone i did not even know. but, i feel i did know ray. he made you feel what he felt.

for days, i've been making nasty comments about people crying at a nazi's funeral. and i still can't understand why they'd cry over a motherfucker like reagan. but now, i can relate i guess. it's a strange world.

i've read a lot of posts here, and i'm not the only one who broke down and wept. i just wanted to share my story, i'm an old bastard myself, and i am sometimes nasty and rotten too. but i can cry, i didn't realize how hard till last night.

[ewagner]

1. You're a good person Mopaul

Proud to be around people like you. :toast:

[quispquake]

I feel for you Mopaul...

Reagan's death didn't mean anything to me, but Ray was a beacon of light in the world...I was honored enough to see him 20 years ago, and it was truly one of the most beautiful shows I ever saw...he was so INTO IT!!! I've been playing a lot of his music today...

[Mikimouse]

2. I know what you mean...

I felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach, hard! I thought back on all the times that I simply could not stop watching his televised appearances, and his terrific music. I understand that Aretha Franklin is going to go ahead and record a piece that he sent to her, suggesting that they do it as a duo. RIP Ray Charles, you were the best!

[lovedems]

3. My story is a little bit different.

I spent Monday and Tuesday this week at a visitation/funeral for an 11 year old girl who died suddenly and unexpectedly of an allergic reaction. Her parents were very good friends of the family.

While the past several days have been very emotional for my family, I have not had one ounce of sadness for the death of Reagan. Really, I found it rather disturbing the fanfare his death has received while this 11 year old girl, whose trademark was hugs, gets a blurb in the newspaper. She did more in her 11 years of life to make people happy then Reagan did in his 93.

I have been sobbing for a week. Sobbing for her parents, sobbing because I am a parent, and sobbing for my own children and that they live long productive lives.

[H2O Man]

11. I'm sorry to hear about

your friends' daughter. That is so sad. I am impressed by your insights on the attention this culture pays to a guilty man vs an innocent child. Yet there is another lesson for all of us, and that is that we are not somehow sitting on a fence. It's not like some of us will "win" and others "lose" in the ultimate sense. Even a man who was as disconnected from the common citizen as was a "king" in medieval Europe -- and Reagan surely was -- he still dies from as cruel a death as those same peasants. We are a human family after all.

There is nothing good to say when a child dies. I'm so sorry for her family, friends, and neighbors.

[afraid_of_the_dark]

4. It's just too bad that his passing has been overshadowed

by the excessive press coverage of Reagan's coffin. I think they devoted a few seconds to it on the evening news, but other than that I haven't heard a word.

[JitterbugPerfume]

8. Me to MoPaul

al of the pent up emotion broke loose when I heard about Ray Charles------

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

5. I swear to God if it wasn't for George Orwell, we'd all

be convinced we were totally insane. It's so hard watching your country moving toward fascism while the press lies and makes everything into "up is down" and "down is up" and half the people don't even seem aware of it.

We just have to fight it how we can, but don't let all the ugliness take away from all the great things that matter. My husband always says that most people just look at the surface of things and very few really look beneath to see the truth.

[johnnie]

6. I'm with you on this my friend...

I will not miss Ronald one bit, but I will miss Brother Ray's presents in this world something terrible.
I was out just last week crusin' around in my Jeep and I was dying for some Ray. I stopped in to a Super K and found an only copy of one of his "Greatest Hits". I snagged it...I was jonezin for the music. It was like a shot of the good stuff. He will be sadly missed.
I just saw him on VH1 doing a version of "Behind closed doors" I was knocked out. Goodbye Ray...RIP my friend.

[northzax]

7. as one of the 'stupid'

I thank you for your comments. Yes, I waited in line a few hours to walk through the rotunda. Yes I paid my respects, not neccesarily to the man, but to the process. Like it or not, he was a president of the United States, easily elected twice, and the process deserves respect. at least from me.

while I had no love for the man himself. I would expect citizens of this country to show respect for his holding of the office, just as I would expect some respect if that was President Clinton, or President Carter (god forbid on both) lying up there. With any luck, we won't have another state funeral for another 30 years.

but what do I know, I'm stupid.

[freetobegay]

9. We share in you pain.

[supernova]

10. It just means that you're human MoPaul

like the rest of us. :hug:

Play some Ray today and remember.

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

12. 1993 National Medal of Arts Winner

National Millennium Time Capsule
National Medal Winner

Charles, Ray, National Medal of Arts, 1993
Mr. Charles’ sunglasses, autographed case, autographed photos, book and cassette



http://clinton4.nara.gov/Initiatives/Millennium/capsule/charles.html

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

13. Nasty rotten old bastards like you

make this a very fine site. Thanks for your post, and for all your posts. Whether I agree or not, I always appreciate your thoughts.

[marzipanni]

14. (I'm glad I found a tissue in my pocket)

I went to bed very late last night and listened to Ray Taliaferro's program on KGO radio (San Francisco)...Caller after caller reminisced about occasions when they experienced Ray Charles performing live, and expressed their heartfelt appreciation of him.

One woman said she enjoyed having the talk show focus on something other than Iraq, and I felt the same way...we can only take so much terrible news, then it has to overflow somehow.

I'm sad that Ray Charles' physical presence is gone, but he has left us his wonderful music, created in his passion for life. (And he didn't have Alzheimer's for his last ten years, we can be thankful for that.)

[Sequoia]

15. Here's a hug Mopaul

and we're all a little sad over Ray's death and it's too bad he had to die now when all the focus is on that other lowly person. When people forget about that person, Ray will always, ALWAYS live on in his songs and 100 years from now the world will still hear Ray's songs but that other person will be remembered as the BFM he truly was.