Ronald Reagan Kicked Out of Hell!
Satan Says, “He's Too Dumb.” Reagan Sighs: “I’ve No Place to Go.”
Reported by Gary Corseri, from the Ninth Level
www.dissidentvoice.org
June 11, 2004
Things couldn’t get much worse for the late President: first Alzheimer's, then dying, then, the worst ignominy: getting kicked out of hell.
Marlin Fitzwater, Reagan’s Press Secretary, said he was “furious” to think that the hero of the Cold War could be treated so shabbily. “What has the Universe come to?” Fitzwater wondered, cradling his head in his hands.
Billy Graham, the ex-president’s spiritual guide and confidant, described the event as “An affront against God!”
Satan himself, when he finally appeared, was much more philosophical. Satan refused to speak to any Western journalists, claiming they were too biased. He delivered his remarks exclusively to Al Jazeera.
“Look,” said the Arch Fiend, “I’ve got a business to run. “You let one jerk in, pretty soon, you’re over-run. It ruins the neighborhood. People think you’ve got no judgment.”
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