"Bush Cremated Accidentally" - news from thespoof.com

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Bush Cremated Accidentally


Written by bkkRon


WASHINGTON, D.C. -- After paying his respects beside the body of deceased President Ronald Reagan lying in state on Friday, George W. Bush somehow ended up inside the casket intended for Reagan. After the ceremony, the flag-draped, heavy, teak box was taken via hearse to the Presidential Crematorium where uniform-clad workers inserted the box into the oven with several Reagan family members looking on.

Although the driver of the hearse said to a doorman at the crematorium that he thought he "heard some muffled yelling," this revelation, at the time, went no further than these two employees in charge of moving and holding the door for dead people. Only two hours later, when an usher found President Reagan still at the funeral hall draped in the U.S. flag, did the mix-up come to light. When Bush's mother and wife asked agents where the President disappeared to, they answered that they thought he was in the Oval Office crying his eyes out. But no one actually checked.

How Bush ended up in the casket, and Reagan's body on a gurney in the prep room at the cathedral, are the big mysteries. It is expected that they will likely never be solved, because the only two people in the world who cared were Barbara and Laura Bush. Even George Sr. headed straight for the buffet table seemingly without a second thought. The Secret Service contingent guarding the President are giving no comment. They are already at Cheney's house where Dick is hosting a barbecue. Rumsfeld was seen holding tongs and wearing an apron that read, "This BBQ Powered By Iraqi Oil."

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