On Thursday I will be married to a 40 year old women (should I leave her?)

[trumad]

My wife of 11 years will turn 40 on Thursday. 40--forty--40 FORTY!

She was 29 when I met her...WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!

WHY IS EVERYONE AROUND ME GETTING OLD!!!!!!!

[demnan]

1. Yes, leave her

Why wait till she's 50? Leave her now so she can still marry some rich dude.

:evilgrin:

[TreasonousBastard]

2. Wives are like cars...

trade 'em in for a new model every five years at most.


<ducking and running>

[trumad]

7. Ducking and Running...

Spewed some coke on that on..LOL

[trumad]

4. Snarf...

and she would believe me....

[ElectroPrincess]

50. dare ya?

Dare ya to show her this thread? Then we can take bets on whether she'll stay with you to see 12 years of this stellar example mutual respect and marrital bliss. :P

[daa]

3. Dude, life begins at FORTY!!!! nt

[trumad]

5. LOL...Only a 40 plus person would say that..., What choice do they have?

When I was twenty I certainly didn't say that...

[Iris]

8. 40 is the new 30

at least according to Cosmo or some such magazine!

[Iris]

9. 40 is the new 30

at least according to Cosmo or some such magazine!

[WillParkinson]

6. Trade her in for two 20-year-olds...

It's only fair.

[name not needed]

10. or four ten yea... never mind

:)

[trumad]

12. Sick..Sick I tell you...

;-)

[Guaranteed]

22. Sure, he could run a daycare center. nt

[Lydia Leftcoast]

11. Boy, I hope she doesn't read this thread

If I had a husband who dissed me like that (even jokingly) on a public message board, he would NOT be married to me for very long. At the very least, he'd be spending a few nights on the couch to consider the insensitivity of his ways.

Remember--you're 11 years older, too.

[northzax]

15. wow, you don't have much of a sense of humour today

do you? sleep ok last night?

[slinkerwink]

17. she has the right to her own opinion, and I have to agree with her

If I caught my spouse making fun of my age, or the fact that he thought my age made me less attractive to him, I'd dump his ass in a split second.

[northzax]

18. er, ok then

what about a post that is, if you really know trumad's voice, mocking the people who would leave someone just due to their age?

Did you reply to SLB's post when he apparently didn't know his wife was pregnant? or did you catch on to the irony on that one?

laugh, people, if you don't laugh the terrorists win.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

27. Suppose your wife or gf posted on a public message board that

you were no longer attractive to her because you were older?

Maybe I'm a bit sensitive because I have friends who have been the "forty exchanged for two twenties" and I have had to be the shoulder they cried on.

Whether Trumad was joking or not, his post prompted a lot of tired old sexist jokes.

[northzax]

29. well, that would upset me, sure

but THAT's NOT WHAT THIS POST SAID.

If my girlfriend made a joke about it, while still continuing to show me the love and respect she always has, I'd think it was just that, a joke. funny funny ha ha.

in fact, since I turn 30 three weeks before her this fall, I fully expect a long litany of comments about me being the 'old man' it happens every year. it's a joke, see?

[slinkerwink]

46. just because it's a joke doesn't excuse the sexism in it

[JohnLocke]

53. How is it sexist?

Replace the words "woman" with "man" and "wife" with "husband." There's no difference. It's a joke -- not very funny one, but not sexist either. Especially when you consider the tone (humorous), the type of humor (it's a knock on age, not gender) and the poster (it's Trumad, for Pete's sake! :D).

[slinkerwink]

60. it generally applies to women

because of past incidences of men leaving their wives for younger women or the jokes about trading "in an old, beat up piece of shit car for a new, hot car."

[JohnLocke]

69. I respectfully disagree.

I think you may be reading too much into the joke.

[Pithlet]

72. How many times

do you see good looking young men, and older, not so good looking women portrayed on tv and in the media? How many stories have you heard of women dumping their old farts for a hot new stud? How many jokes do you know making fun of that very thing? I bet it is a whole lot less than the reverse. There is a difference. That is why this joke is so offensive to many.

[JohnLocke]

73. That wasn't trumad's intention at all; nor can it be reasonably implied.

[Pithlet]

75. It may not have been his intention

but how on earth could that not be implied? That was the whole joke! Was there some other premise that I'm missing? Was he joking about her hair color? Her height?

[JohnLocke]

78. The premise was a knock on aging.

"Everybody I know is getting old!" It's a joke.

[Pithlet]

81. It's a joke

Yes. I think we've all established that.

[JohnLocke]

83. So you agree with me? What is it exactly that you dispute?

[Pithlet]

84. I'm tired

of the "can't you take a joke, what's wrong with you" that goes on here at DU. If you can't see how that joke could even be mildly offensive to some, then I don't know what to tell you. I knew it was a joke. I wasn't particularly offended. I understand that Trumad loves his wife, and it was a warped tribute to her, althoug I think I'm now on his list for defending those who were offended, because I got the ol' rolleye treatment.

[JohnLocke]

95. The non-answer.

If you can't see how that joke could even be mildly offensive to some, then I don't know what to tell you.

Well, case dismissed!

[JohnLocke]

74. I also dispute your contention that many have been or would be offended.

Only a handful have taken offense.

[Pithlet]

77. How do you know

how many peope have taken offense? How on earth can you dispute such a thing? You have absolutely no way of knowing that. You have no idea how many people have actually read this thread, and not responded.

[JohnLocke]

80. I do have a way of estimating that.

Because about 20 people have posted in this thread and about three take offense. Also, there are probably many who have seen the joke, do not take offense, and do not see a reason to post...

[Pithlet]

That's your estimation

But that doesn't dispute anything I've said. If three people have spoken out about it, then it is reasonable to expect that there were more that were offended, and just haven't bothered to reply. Besides, the day is young. Just wait, I'm sure this thread will be to 200+ by the end of the day.

[JohnLocke]

97. Indeed it is.

And it is quite reasonable and stands opposite your claim.

[Catholic Sensation]

64. IT IS NOT SEXIST, IT IS AGE-IST

and it's a freaking joke about the fact he and everyone he knows is getting old.

Has everyone lost their minds or something?

[Pithlet]

70. It's both.

Just look at some of the other jokes in this thread (the oh so hilarious one about wine, women, and age, for one) in response. Har di har har.

Look, I'm sure the joke was very much meant in jest, but it touches a huge nerve. Women over a certain age are often portrayed as past their prime, and therefore no longer worthy. Many men actually take it seriously; women are traded in for younger models all the time. It's likely that someone on DU has faced, or know someone that has faced that situation. How many worry if it will happen to them?

If Trumad's wife sees the thread, and finds it hilarious, then that's great. But, you can't expect that everyone is going to find it so. I was actually a bit shocked at first, to tell you the truth. I'm happy I'm married to someone who would never have even considered doing such a thing, and I don't have too many friends who would think that was so hot, either. And what pisses me off even more is the whole "STFU, it's just a joke" attitude that happens a lot here on DU.

[JohnLocke]

76. Response

If Trumad's wife sees the thread, and finds it hilarious, then that's great. But, you can't expect that everyone is going to find it so.

Nobody is forcing you to view this thread. Though you may take offense, the joke is not inherently sexist; because of this, there is no reason for any action against trumad.

[Pithlet]

79. Who is talking about action?

What are you talking about?

No one is forcing me to view this thread? Well, no one is forcing you to read my responses. Therefor, no action is necessary against me :silly:

[JohnLocke]

82. Semantics.

The last resort of someone trapped in an oratorical corner. ;)

[Pithlet]

86. I'm not trapped

I just didn't understand what you were saying :crazy: ;)

[Catholic Sensation]

89. You'd have a point if he CRITICIZED HER FOR BEING 40

HE POINTED OUT THAT TIME HAS GONE BY REALLY QUICK.

There seems to be a real comprehension problem on this forum with some people. You know life is much more fun if you don't go around looking to be offended by everything.

[Pithlet]

91. It was probably

the "Should I leave her" part that did it.

Not a problem with reading comprehension. Not everyone has your sense of humor, or thickness of dermal matter. Don't let it get to you so much.

[Catholic Sensation]

92. Coming from someone taking offense at something minor like this

I'll keep what you said about "not letting something get to me" under advisement :eyes:

[Pithlet]

93. I wan't offended

I said so in some of my other posts.

And damn, what is it with the roll eyes in this thread? For people who are so thick skinned that they can't figure out why people were offended, I'm seeing a lot of that. Well, :eyes: back at ya!

[ElectroPrincess]

51. Sorry such humor's lost on me ... and I love to kid around :-)

Hey I've been married to the same man for 22 years. If he did this tomorrow, I'd drop kick him into another state. Irony be damned.

IMO what nurtures and sustains a successful and long term partnership (Marriage included) is mutual respect of each other in *every area* of one's life. Unless she has the forgiveness of a saint or is as flaky with "irony" as yourself by posting a similar thread on you, I'd not show her this one. ; )

[JohnLocke]

71. Response

Your views on jokes regarding spouses and family members may be quite different than trumad's (see post #25 for details). Unless the joke is overly offensive, I see no reason why trumad should be beat up for having a different sense of humor that a handful of people take offense to.

[OKNancy]

39. Oh come on

I wouldn't dump my husband for something like that...I WOULD say, "Fuck you asshole, you're no prize yourself"

[Lizz612]

96. You get it!

I think thats the sort of response I would give. A give and take sort of banter.

[WillParkinson]

20. Men don't age...

We 'mature'. (Well, OK, SOME of us do...)

[northzax]

26. right, men are like vintage port

they need at least 30 years of aging to be palatable.

Women are like Brunello, prime age: 18-25.

simple.




attention: the preceeding was a joke. har de har har.

[ElectroPrincess]

52. Oh yeah!?!

Gosh good point: attention: the preceeding was a joke. har de har har.

And to the substance - some men are never palatable.
(see above)

Wait!!! That was a follow-up *joke* har de har Mahn :P ... pass the bong before you say anything else absurdly moranIC? lol

[daa]

40. I hope she does

being cut off for a year would do him good.

[northzax]

45. right, nothing like being petty

to encourage a man to stay.

[arwalden]

13. Buy Her New Boobs And A Facelift And An Oprah-Makeover...

it's cheaper than a divorce. (ya nut!) :hi:

-- Allen

[2Design]

14. OMG she is married to an OLD man she must leave right away

and find a younger man like Demi Moore did, only find one with brains

[YellowRubberDuckie]

16. I'm calling your wife and telling her what you've been up to...

Then I'll just let HER kick your ass. :evilgrin:
Duckie

[Guaranteed]

19. I'm so, so sorry, Trumad.

This is horrible. I don't even know what to say.

[DancingBear]

21. Nah - stick around

and wait for 50 - it is THE age. Magically, anyone in their 30's becomes a kid, and you get to smile quietly to yourself when 20-somethings post really dumb stuff on DU 'cause they think they "get it."

(I shall now run away and hide, all the while thinking of vinyl flooring, the NBC color peacock, and the Fillmore East....) :) :)

[bearfan454]

23. No, sex gets better every year after 40.

(snicker)

[supernova]

24. Women are like fine wine and brandy

We get better with age.

Anyone who can't see that -- trumad -- deserves to have his ass dumped by the side of the road on the way into Baghdad.

[northzax]

28. ohh, so you're saying Barbara Bush

is ripe, huh?

[supernova]

32. Well she's obviously

appealing to Poppy Bush. :shrug:

A women doesn't have to be desirable to everyone, just the one she's with.

[Lorien]

38. This woman is:

at sixty five she's a lot sexier than all the fat, balding thirty year old doughboys who think that they still deserve Angelina Jolie when they won't do a thing to keep themselves looking mildly attractive. Look at all the TV sitcoms out there perpetuating this myth; the world according to Jim, the king of Queens, my wife and kids..ugh.

[dawg]

54. Hey, I think I'm offended.

I may qualify as a thirty-something "doughboy". :P

Seriously, though, I think I know what you mean. The wives on alot of shows and commercials look really young and pretty and the husbands are big fat goofy-guys.

[Lorien]

62. That is what I mean

I've tried the Internet dating thing. Every guy I met online was carrying forty extra pounds (at least) and most were wearing baseball caps. Yet on their profiles they stated "she (possible date) must be seen as "very attractive" by society's standards". Now, I could stand to lose 15 pounds, but even then, I'm not going to be Charlize Theron. Not many women will be-yet these guys demand that that's what they get!

[soothsayer]

25. Definitely leave her....

....a big pile of presents!

[Insider]

30. answer #1. leave her...with my phone number

answer #2. leave her... before she wises up to YOU, old man.
answer #3. stay, and thank your lucky stars she has 40 yrs of wisdom
answer #4. who mad?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

31. you can exchange her for 2 twenties

[Garage Queen]

33. Well, as a forty-year-old woman myself, I have to say

I wasn't the least bit offended by the post. Maybe I just have a better-developed sense of humor than the P.C. Police? <shrugs> Sooooo...

Yeah, leave the old biddy! Quick, before her oldness infects you! :crazy:

[Pithlet]

34. Because anyone

who doesn't have your sense of humor MUST be the PC police. That is the height of arrogance, I'm sorry.

While I wasn't offended, I can certainly understand how some might be. I'm really getting tired of people being shouted down and called the PC police when they don't find something funny, here on DU.

[trumad]

35. Folks..it's me trumad..

I seek reaction to all my posts to educate me in the ways of human kind.

My wife would love this post because my wife loves my sense of humor...That's one of the reasons she's married to me.... AND you know what, she's just as big a smart ass as I am. Our friends marvel at the give and take between us and also marvel at the love we show each other.

We don't let silly things interfere in our goal of staying together. She knows me and I know her... We are devoted to each other for life...(at least until the first 20 year old hottie comes along) errrr just kidding for those above who are a bit sensitive.!

My wife of 11 years is more beautiful than she was 11 years ago. AND that's after 3 kids. She's faced with the prospect of being married to a 50 year old man in less than 4 years. AAAAAHHHHH! Poor Lady!

I'm throwing her a surprise B-Day party Thursday night with about 50 of her closest friends and I'm excited about doing it. It's Love you know... (at least until the first 20 year old hottie comes along) Just kidding again!

[Pithlet]

36. That's the problem with the internet

Those kind of jokes are really hard to pull off. With your wife and a bunch of your friends in person, it's probably funny. A public post in text, where you have no facial expression or voice inflection to indicate that you're joking, people are going to misunderstand. Personally, I wouldn't like my husband making that kind of a joke on an internet board, outside of me and my friends, but that's just me.

It wasn't so much your joke as the reaction to those who found it offensive. I really am tired of people on this board being shouted down because they don't find something funny. That wasn't meant so much for you.

[trumad]

42. And I will never add a wink or indicate that I am kidding in these posts..

I admit...I like the reactions of folks who knee jerk into spasms,,,,

[Pithlet]

43. Well

That's nice.

[JohnLocke]

56. Uh...

Might this jpg be a clue?

[Pithlet]

57. That's someone from Kids in the Hall

But I didn't recognize the last thing he said as being from the show, though.

[ElectroPrincess]

58. OK, this broad will STFU now and take it like a woman :-)

Ok, I guess one's a part of the PC police if we consider *sexist* jokes distasteful in a Democratically oriented forum. After all us old broads should just shut up and understand "the boys" are having themselves a little locker room humor.

My point: Some men may consider sexist jokes funny, however, out of respect for most other folks, many of the women here, would you kindly keep it in the locker room?

[JohnLocke]

68. Your argument is wrong because your premise is flawed.

The joke might be humorously ageist, but not sexist.

[Name removed]

90. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[JohnLocke]

98. I am offended by your implication that I am a sexist and a liar.

[JohnLocke]

99. And I never called you the "PC police."

[JohnLocke]

100. Also, I dispute your contention that most people are offended.

See reply #74 and #78.

[trumad]

67. Thank you

:eyes:

[gratuitous]

61. Waitasecond . . . you're FORTY?!

Oh my stars! I believe I have the vapors. Vapors, I tells ya!

I don't know whether I'm Blanche or Popeye!

I need to go lie down. Vapors. Vapors.

[Garage Queen]

66. Yeah, I'm forty. But, the one comforting thought I hold dear is:

I'll always be younger than you.

B!Yatch!

:evilgrin:

[gratuitous]

88. I guess I'll have to settle for . . .

Being prettier.

Nyeah!

[ProfessorGAC]

37. I'm Not Getting Old

See, i bought this painting and i keep it in the attic. Once in a while, strange things happen, but i swear it's the painting's fault. I swear, honest!
The Professor

[Jade Fox]

41. No, she should leave you.

[slinkerwink]

47. yep, the guy's older than she is and he makes a joke about her age

gee....the double standards these days.

[Guy_Montag]

44. I tend to go for, ummm, more mature women...

if she's a looker I may be interested.:evilgrin:

[ElectroPrincess]

48. Yes, by all means :-) <tongue in cheek>

Yes, leave her post haste! BTW how many times has she begged for this? <snicker> If you leave her at 40 she can find a man (perhaps younger) that doesn't hyper-focus on their partners age. Damn! I thought that "Me" stuff went out of style in the 80s.

Stop now please, maybe she never has to know you considered this slight. :-)

[GreenPartyVoter]

49. Should you leave her?!

Seriously, do you wanna get smacked or what? Cause if your wifey won't do it, I'll do it for her for the sake of sisterhood and "older" wives everywhere. Sheesh! :P

[dawg]

55. Ladies, I think some of you are taking trumad a little too seriously.

There are assholish men out there that really think that way, but I don't think trumad is one of them.

[Lorien]

63. A LOT of men think that way

being a woman that has been propositioned by dozens of "happily married men" with aging wives, I and many others here know that it isn't just an "assholish" minority that feel this way. If a woman here wrote "my husband just lost his job, should I dump him for a rich guy"? How many men would think it was a cute joke?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

65. In defense of Trumad..he would

But I completely get the other side of it too

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

59. Only a PIG would say that :)

Had to do it Tru...I know you adore your wife..

Happy Birthday to Mrs Tru.....


(oh and for some of us...the older we get the better we fuck :D )

[matcom]

85. Trumad Started A Flaame Waar ... Trumad Starded A Flaame Waar

heehee :D

:eyes:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

87. This is why you should never attempt humour without the proper equipment.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

94. She's been washing your stinkin' underwear for 11 years?!?

Leave and put her out of her misery! :P

[JohnLocke]

101. Kick

[JohnLocke]

102. Kick