Movies that should have never been made.

[Khephra]

The Remake of Psycho. What was Gus thinking?

(I will say that I'm sorta glad it was made...to tell you the truth. I was taking a film criticism class when it came out, so we all went to see it for class. The movie sparked some of the best conversations that I've EVER had on film. Other than that, the actual production sucked wind.)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

1. The Avengers (of course)

Happiness by Todd Solondz (well, I couldn't deal with it, it was so fucking depressing)
Casino Royale
Someone Like You and almost all similar chick-flicks, in fact, almost anything that features Ashley Judd.
Autumn in New York (ditto)
The Wall
Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts' Club Band
Freejack
The Ninth Gate

[Fenris]

3. LOL! I like Casino Royale.

Probably for the same reasons that you don't. Eh, what can I say. I love Woody Allen.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

5. Actually, I like the idea and quite a bit of the movie.

It's just so aggravating to see all that talent for so little outcome.
You can totally tell when Nick Roeg takes over directing duties.

[Fenris]

10. Peter Sellers was wasted to a degree.

Niven was completely wasted.

[terrya]

8. I like the Burt Bachrach score to "Casino Royale". Too bad the rest...

of the movie is cringe worthy. It's so sad to watch dignified Deborah Kerr making a fool of herself...:-)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

11. It is a fantastic score.

And if it wasn't for Casino Royale, we may never have had 'The Look of Love'.

[InkAddict]

2. Never should have made

Barbarella - it sucked!

[Khephra]

14. Barbarella is on the remake track

Drew Barrymore wants to do it. It's one of her "dream projects".

(However, since she did produce "Donnie Darko" I'll give her some slack.)

[terrya]

4. "Armageddon". Michael Bay shouldn't be allowed to direct movies...

since they all turn out to be worthless shite.

[Fenris]

7. I think Michael Bay and the guy who directed "Battlefield Earth"

Should be buried alive.

[VelmaD]

6. Highlander 2...

There should have been only 1. :)

[MisterP]

13. and 3 and Endgame

each sucked harder than the last, if possible

[neverborn]

24. 3 and Endgame were better than 2.

[RiffRandell]

9. Swept Away

Painful to watch---Madonna and Guy got so much shit for that flick.

[mark0rama]

12. You're right, the worth of the Psycho remake...

...is that it's an invaluable exercise in... something. Damn, how should I put this? Let me try again:

You have a landmark film by one of the giants of film. And a very good, highly skilled director tries to recreate it, shot by shot, cut for cut. So why is the original so gripping, and the recreation such a bore? Do some directors have "it", and some not? What makes some films endure, and some miss the mark so widely?

I would have loved to be in on the conversations you had about it. That's what sucks about renting DVDs - you miss out on the social aspects.

[Khephra]

19. What was amazing is that most of the class liked the remake

more after our debates on the film. I can't say that I "liked" the film, but as an exercise in filmmaking it was interesting. When you sit down and talk about the film shot by shot you get how loving of a remake it was.

But it wasn't needed by Gus. Something like that would be interesting from a no-name director working with no budget. If some guy remade "Psycho" with say...only $100,000 it would be a major feat. But Gus had millions and stars to work with, so it couldn't have turned out that bad, considering the talent that was involved with the project.

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. Top Gun; Star Trek: Nemesis; Love Story; Batman 3 and later

All such sad, sad examples of art gone to the shitter.

[Mr. Blonde]

48. I have high hopes

for the new batman.

[gratuitous]

16. A.I.

I couldn't believe that movie! It was a complete waste of celluloid.

SPOILERS BELOW, SO QUIT READING OR DON'T COMPLAIN.

In the movie, the robot boy is 8 years old. The major "improvement" on this model is that it can bond with a human, imprint a parent. But the boy remains 8 years old. Who would build such a monstrosity?

Not content simply to introduce such a preposterous premise, Steven Spielberg then goes to the trouble of rubbing the viewer's face in the absurdity. Let's face it, when you're 34, having a "replacement" 8 year old robot for the boy you lost to a coma might seem like a keen idea. But 34 gives way to 40, and 50, and 60. Is the 8 year old going to be quite so intriguing at 70 when your knee is kicking up holy hell, you're looking for the Advil, and he gets in your way with the umpteen millionth picture of "Mommy and Me"? I say no friggin' way.

When the couple's other son miraculously comes out of his coma, he identifies the problem right away. In a ridiculously short time, he has the robot boy so tied up in logical inconsistencies, that he nearly overheats. Mom has to intervene before live boy can totally disable robot boy.

I don't know what Stanley Kubrick would have done with the story (he had been working on the project for years and years at the time of his death, and Spielberg picked it up and finished it off for him), but maybe he never could solve the central puzzle of how to treat a boy who is 8 years old forever.

Never should have been made. Wish I'd never lost three hours of my life watching it. Please learn from my example.

[Rabrrrrrr]

18. Or Spielberg should have stopped it at ending Number 1

[gratuitous]

21. No, it goes horribly wrong from the very beginning

I suppose Kubrick might have had the boy outlive all life on earth, and then when he was found by the extraterrestrials, they would have elevated him to the status of a god. But the whole story is just . . . outlandish. Shouldn't have been made. Ick.

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. Oh, I agree - it would have better not to make it at all

and it was, overall, rather icky.

But, worst case scenario - which is what we had, meaning, that it was in fact made - it would have been 5% less icky if Spielberg had just stopped it at the first ending, instead of dragging us through two more, ever-elevatingly implausible and saccharine and "Here's the emotional response from you, so I'm gonna overplay this part so there is no doubt in your mind that you are supposed to cry now" idiocy.

[Khephra]

27. Spielberg

That was the entire problem with A.I.

Kubrick to Speilberg? What was Speilberg thinking? YOu don't finsh projects by other artists unless they've actually almost finished a work. I can understand people who come in and finish something for an artist who was dying, but to take someone's notes and conversations and shoot a film from just that...well, it just seems like graverobbing to me.

[Rabrrrrrr]

36. Yes, it was crazy

I don't know why anyone would let Spielberg near a good story and/or anything that Kubrick was up to. Should have brought in a real director, who understands the ART of moviemaking, to do AI.

The story of AI was kind of cool. And might have seemed more plausible if it didn't have all those sappy Spielbergian overwrought emotional hooks in it, and just concentrated on telling the damn story and letting it speak for itself.

Spielberg really pisses me off most times. I feel so manipulated watching his movies.

[Khephra]

41. Most def

Spielberg is great when he knows what he's doing, but whenever he tries to work from other people's work it almost always sucks.

(Exceptions: Jaws and Raiders)

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. Last Samurai; Mission Impossible (both); The Grinch; Beautiful Mind

Parenthood; that other ron howard abomination with Cate Blanchett and TOmmy Lee Jones that came out last Fall/Winter.

Basically, Ron Howard should never be allowed to even LOOK at a film set again, let alone be involved in the film in any way, certainly not to direct. :puke:

[Rabrrrrrr]

20. Superman 2, 3, 4; Rocky 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 if it gets made; Jaws 2

[lazarus]

28. Hey, now

Rocky 2-4 were fun. No, they weren't high art. They were just fun, and got more fun as they went on.

Rocky V was never made, however, so I don't don't know what you're talking. It was never, ever filmed.

[Rabrrrrrr]

31. My mistake then - must be Rocky V that Stallone wants to make, then

I was thinking he already did five of 'em.

Someone posted here a month or so ago, though, an article about Stallone in the works trying to get a new Rocky movie to go.

:puke:

[lazarus]

37. he is making Rocky VI, or hopes to

But Rocky V never, ever happened, so stop saying that.

:D

[Khephra]

30. Superman 2?

2?

That film had some of the best hero vs villain scenes ever!

[Rabrrrrrr]

34. Much as I hate to disagree with you, Khephra,

especially on stuff that I normally would consider your word to be gospel, I'm really not fond of any of the Superman movies, but I'll give the first one a pass. Too silly for my tastes. Though Hackman as Luthor, of course, was golden.

But maybe it's just that I never really liked Superman the character that clouded my judgment of the movies. But I don't think so. They were just silly. IMO.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

35. But General Zod....Who would deny General Zod?

[Khephra]

44. Zod

He's the main reason I won't trash the film...even though I think most of it is pure cheese.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

47. Gotta love Terrance Stamp.

[Khephra]

43. Oh, I don't like the film

I just don't put it in this thread's category. Superman (the whole series and the character) isn't one of my faves..at all. IMO, he's a character that should have died off years ago, Captain America is another one that's outlived its shelf-life.

[Khephra]

33. I guess Sly finally got the rights back

I read recently that Rocky 6 and Rambo4 (?) are now back on the fast track to being made. They've been talked about for years now--mainly because Sly no longer has a career--but now that he's regained the right to them he's finally going to make them.

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. And a pre-emptive vote for any remake of Citizen Kane

And you just know that in this current climate of bringing out old, excellent movies and doing shitty, uncreative remakes of them, that some doofus assmunch is gonna want to try his hand at Citizen Kane and that it's gonna totally suck rubber donkey lungs when he/she does. Unless the director makes it exactly like Citizen Kane, in which case it will still suck because, if you do it just like the original, why bother doing it?

Asses.

But that's me, Rabrrrrrr, getting sick and tired of people doing remakes of what were already exceptionally brilliant and wonderful movies. Except Jackson doing King Kong - that's okay.

[Richardo]

23. The Cat in the Hat...

...the Grinch, Rocky and Bullwinkle, George of the Jungle, Flinstones.

Basically any live-action version of a cartoon is going to suck.

[Khephra]

29. Strangely enough

I liked the "Boris and Natasha" film that was made.

[Richardo]

32. Guilty exception for me: "Popeye"

At least the first half. Went way downhill about the point where "Pappy" comes in.

[Khephra]

46. Oh man, you can just see that Garfield is going suck

Coming down the road.

Ok...I can deal with CGI animals in a movie, but for god's sake, at least do ALL the animals in CGI then!

[Khephra]

26. Just about every Philp K Dick adapation

Except for "Blade Runner", and that's not even a strict adapation--it's more like Cronenberg's "Naked Lunch".

[Misunderestimator]

38. Ishtar

[Taverner]

39. Footloose, Flashdance, Mrs. Doubtfire...

I could go on for hours...

[LiberalVoice]

40. The Musketeer, Tank Girl, Batman 3, 4. n/t

[Gildor Inglorion]

42. "Gigli"

I kept thinking "This surely can't be as bad as it seems to be." But it just kept getting worse and worse. *shudder*

[Speck Tater]

45. Battlefield Earth.

It was a darn shame they could only afford two legs for their camera tripod. Even so you'd think those clever Hollywood grips would have dreamed up some way to keep the camera level with baling wire and gaffer's tape.

[slutticus]

49. Cold Creek Manor.....

...that was a really bad movie. I couldn't believe how bad it was.