What is one of your biggest regrets in life

[LynneSin]

I try not to live my life with too many regrets, but I do have a few and some of them I am ashamed for what I did (or didn't do).

One of the biggest ones was a weekend back in mid-October 1987. My best friend had a brother who went to college in Washington DC and she invited me to go party with her & her brother down in DC that weekend. I had no idea that something of historic value was going to happen that weekend - that was the weekend that the AIDs quilt was first on display at the National Mall in Washington DC.

My regret - my friend & her brother were both pretty homophobic. I really didn't know anyone who had AIDs and definately did not know anyone who was Gay (or at least admitted to such). My friend & her brother were acting pretty rude all weekend and instead of telling them to knock if off, I went along with them.

I look back and I wish I had said something and I wish I had taken the time to go see the quilt.

[skippysmom]

1. not ending an emotionally abusive relationship

I put up with it for 7 years too long. I feel like I lost most of my 20s to a real asshole.

Thankfully I'm in a better place now.

[regularguy]

15. Better late than never...

my mom lost *all* of her 20s, 30s, and 40s to a real asshole. She's doin' fine now, though....

[hlthe2b]

2. oooh... Lots of regrets here, but ....

I find it pretty painful to catalogue them... Is it better to do so?

Maybe that's why I like Egypt so much--always looking for the River Denial?

[demnan]

It was awesome.

I saw it quite by chance. It wasn't paying any attention but at that time I worked on Constitution Avenue right next to the mall and took a walk at lunchtime as the weather was very pleasant. So I got an education there - I'll never forget it.

My biggest regret was that I didn't take an alumni trip offered by my college which was only $900 at the time but covered the Soviet Union and even up to the Great Wall of China. Soviet Asia. Leningrad and Moscow.

At the time I was paying off my college loans and that seemed like a huge sum of money. In retrospect, it seems a bargain.

[MissMillie]

3. That I didn't go away to college like I had planned.

I met a guy the spring before I was supposed to leave.....

In my life, I've given up too much for all the wrong men.

[screenprinter]

4. Mine is more simplistic

yet more life changing, I suppose.

In the 80's I was taking cooking classes in HS, as a blow-off credit type of thing. It was odd for a guy to be in cooking classes even in the 80's.
Well, I already knew how to cook because of living with my dad only since the age of 8. I could cook full meals by the time I was 10.
I'm not sure how full it would have been, but it seems I was being considered for a scholarship in Culinay School.
I can't believe it, but I completely blew it off. Hindsight sure is 20/20, but I'm glad, in a way, that I'm not a chef now.

[elfwitch]

5. not hooking up with...

There was a sweet fella I knew from 7th-12th grade. We were friends and shared lockers quite often. I dug him and I think he dug me back but the timing was always bad. I wish I could know what it would been like to kiss him.

[GOPisEvil]

6. Not going to graduate school when I had the chance.

I know I can still go, but I had the chance to go on my parents' nickel. I only applied to one school and didn't get in. If I was really serious, I'd have made more of an effort.

[pagerbear]

7. That I never finished that masters degree

First stab at grad school--was overwhelmed by life and dropped out.
Second stab at grad school--had done all the requirements except a recital paper, but during the last possible extension was overwhelmed by life and let it drop.

[drb]

8. Walking away from a great potential...

...relationship with a gorgeous young lady named Mary G., because I was still screwed up from a previous breakup.

Sorry, Mary! My bad!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. leaving india

[King Of Paperboys]

10. The Girl That Got Away

She's been yanking me around emotionally for the last five years. Next week, I'm meeting her for coffee and to say goodbye for good. Gonna try to get on with my life. Wish me luck.

[Misunderestimator]

11. That's funny... I would have thought that your biggest regret is...

that you aren't a Lesbian. :shrug:

Not to make light of what your regret is... I wish I had had the opportunity to see the quilt as well. Isn't it still around somewhere?

[LynneSin]

23. It travel arounds places and in sections

I saw some of the Delaware parts of the Quilt at a conference in Wilmington.

Plus DC is going to have another display in 2 weekends. More details here: http://www.aidsquilt.org/elipse.html I'd love to go down again but I have one group of friends that want to go see Fahrenheit 9/11 that weekend and another friend with a beach house at Rehobeth Beach that weekend.

I'm getting swamped.

[Misunderestimator]

24. You are such a Popular Lesbian...

:evilgrin:

[LynneSin]

25. But I'm not a Lesbian

Believe me, after attending that baseball game Monday, the best you could ever hope for is a fleeting try at bisexuality. Watching men in baseball uniforms <sigh> what a great evening!

[Misunderestimator]

27. Yeah... but have you seen women in baseball uniforms?

Hmmmmm.... :)

[King Of Paperboys]

28. Yeah, but what are the odds?

I mean, so few women play baseball... is it possible that any of them are lesbians?

[Misunderestimator]

29. Fine... then softball uniforms, or soccer uniforms, or basketball

uniforms, or volleyball uniforms... or any uniforms... or NO uniforms... :)

[stellanoir]

12. woh. . .I've made loads more than one

but the ones I'm most mindful of today are not resolving certain issues with those who've passed.

Beyond that, I had penned an e-mail in late October '00. I had wrestled with it's composition for several weeks. I had several hundred recipients in my address book from all walks of life, and had experienced great success during early '99 by satirically shooting bazooka sized holes in the impeachment debacle.

But it was far easier to be scathingly sarcastic about sex and the truth than it was to say, "I'm for this guy or I'm against this guy. . ."

The operative phrase in that e-mail was, "During a State Dinner during the Bush administration, the Queen of England was in attendence. First Lady Barbara carefully arranged the seating pattern so that George "Dubious" was as far away from her Royal Highness as was physically possible as she feared he would only cause great embarrassment to our nation. Why pray tell should we award this pretender an honor that even his mother would not?"

I never sent it. Alas though I'm not even vaguely sure that it would have mattered, I'll always regret that decision.

Mea Culpa

[Susang]

13. Not taking enough chances

Alot of people might look at my life and think I took quite a few risks, but honestly, I played it pretty safe overall. I could have been much more balls-out and should have been in many cases. I tend to let fear rule just a little too much.

[johnnie]

14. Not voting last election

*duck*
Let me explain. I have voted in every election since 84. I have always been active and vocal about my politics and even went to see Clinton speak on my birthday and shook his hand and all that jazz.
After that disgusting witch hunt that the friggin Repubs wouldn't stop for 8 plus years, and the bullshit they pulled I got really pissed. Then some of the Democrats started joining in or backing away. I watched the party being torn apart and had to listen to that bullshit day after day after day. I got fed up and didn't want anything to do with it any longer.
I still would have voted for Gore until, in my opinion he threw it away by distancing himself from Clinton. When shrub was the front runner in the other party...I knew we were being played. I thought Gore was playing the Repubs game and mixed with my total disgust for politics I decided that neither of the parties deserved my time nor effort to get off my ass and vote. The American public seemed to be just as fucked up and I stated that that whole election was just a scam. I was correct. People asked me how I knew it was going to end up as a joke and all I could tell them was because....it was obvious from the get go.
I regret it now because I had to listen to all that bullshit about "If you don't vote you have no reason to bitch". That's bullshit anyway because I pay my friggin taxes as much as the next person. I don't know if it is my biggest regret, but I feel a bit bad about it because I am repulsed by what has occurred the last 3 plus years.
In a way I also don't regret it because I did what I thought was right. It was my right to not have my voice heard and I believe in that also.

[Commendatori]

16. Getting married

Picked the wrong girl. I'm happy with the daughter, though. :)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

17. No regrets.

[Fenris]

18. Damn you! You're always so positive!

x(

[Screaming Lord Byron]

20. I regret hearing Liz Phair.

And Ani DiFranco.

[tnlefty]

19. Not accepting the invitation to the Governor's Honor Program when I

was in high school. Dumb, dumb, dumb decision.

[sniffa]

21. i'd say no regrets but...

after reading yours, i have the same regrets. many an occasion i've remained siLent whiLe peopLe say offensive things. i'm vigiLant now, and most peopLe are at Least aware enough to keep their sLurs to themseLves... but i do find myseLf occasionaLLy siLent when comes to certain friends, famiLy, and coworkers/boss.

[mrboba1]

22. Not sticking with Karate training as a kid

I'm back at it now, but I could probably be 4th degree black belt if I had stayed...

[UrbScotty]

26. I sat around and got out of shape when I was younger.

I'm making up for it, though. I've been losing weight lately. Better late than never.

[jayavarman]

30. Ever smoking that 1st cigarette

:smoke:

[Nadienne]

32. Second That

:smoke:

[Flaxbee]

31. I wish I'd stayed in Florence, Italy right out of college...

I'd led a very sheltered life, college close to home, etc. but went to Florence for the summer with ideas of staying after August, but just couldn't handle it (didn't help that I was assaulted by some locals, but still). Freaked out and came home and made another mistake, I went to law school. If I'd have stayed in Florence, I'd be fluent in Italian and perhaps working in the arts or fashion or jewelry design, which is what I wanted....

And law school wasn't so bad, I made a lot of good friends and went to a good school, but I should have thought more about my post-school work. Ended up in corporate hell for 6 years, and have quit law altogether. Should have tried to segue into law/arts, law/fashion, law/environment after a year or two, but my mom got sick and I needed to have a big income so I stuck with something I hated and just got totally burned out on the whole profession.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

33. Not being more rebellious against my mother and grandmother

It's a long story, but they essentially drove off three of my boyfriends during my earlier years, and there was nothing wrong with any of them--it wasn't as if they were con men or abusers or alcoholics or anything like that. I could have prevented at least two of those incidents, but I was too intimidated.

[Dogmudgeon]

34. Not to get too maudlin, but ...

... I have way too many regrets, and seldom does an hour pass that I don't confront one or more of them.

Unfortunately, the tide of affairs in my life is not at high water. I'm broke, I'm marginally employed at best, I'm taking care of my mother and grandmother (who is probably dying). I never got married, I don't even date anymore, I'm 46 and it looks pretty bleak.

When I'm not regretting something I didn't do, I'm experiencing shame for something I did do. How's that, huh? Am I sick, or what?

The brightest ray serene in this overgrown churchyard that is my mind is that I have been writing a whole lot, and getting in a lot of programming and training. I'm not nearly as miserable as I usually have been when in this situation. Keeping busy helps, but is an imperfect solution.

So how do you cope with regret and with shame?

--bkl

[JohnKleeb]

35. so many sigh

[SmokingJacket]

36. Not working harder in college

I was too intimidated by hard classes, so I took fun ones. That was so dumb -- now, when I'd really appreciated learning Greek or Philosophy or Art History or something, I certainly can't afford to go to college again.

Maybe later. Sigh.

Also, not insisting on music lessons when I was a kid. How cool would it be to play an instrument really well?? (I started learning piano a year ago, damn it's hard. Won't quit, though. One day I'll get it. If I live long enough!!!)

[CanuckAmok]

37. Chickening out when my cat had to be put down...

1) She was 18, and I'd had her since I was six. I was on leave, and had no reason to not be there when she died, except I didn't want to.

I still feel like a schmuck for that one. My mom had to deal with it. I should have been there when she died.

2) We were poor growing up, and my mom cleaned rich peoples' homes for a living. One of those elderly couples took a shine to me, and offered to send me to an excellent private school, from Grade 5 through high school. I didn't want to go...I'm a fool.

[Mikimouse]

38. Getting remarried when I was perfectly happy as a ...

long term single. Paying the price for that stupid move now.

[GCP]

39. Not going to med school

Woulda, coulda, shoulda.

[demosincebirth]

40. Not seeing my Parents enough.

VERY, very big regret.

[sir_captain]

41. Tossup

firstly, not putting a little bit more effort in during college, which would have made my professional life a lot easier now; secondly, being unable to quite seal the deal with the girl i've been chasing after for the last six or so years--life's a bitch...

[Champ]

42. I have one

But it's a long story to get the background of it but it is amazing how something worth maybe 5 cents can change and impact you for the rest of your life.

[mede8er]

43. Regrets? I have a few........

But then again, too few to mention........

[SOteric]

44. I've made a great many mistakes in life, so that's actually fertile ground

But I'd have to say the biggest and most painful regret are the things I've left unsaid and undone with those who've passed from my life.




It’s a little vigil I’m holding folks, nothing to see here. Move along.

---

[Wapsie B]

45. Trying to tough it out

at college the first time around rather than transferring to a school better suited to my needs. Staying in an environment where all I did was to trip over fragile adolescent egos.
Listening to my detractors and focusing on my shortcomings rather than my skills and abilities. Being too loyal of an employee rather than looking for ways to move up. Staying too long at jobs that I've outgrown. Letting myself get screwed by nearly every employer I've had. Not listening to my heart and instincts and walking away from a potential relationship with a woman who stole my heart. Thinking I didn't deserve that kind of love and ending up marrying someone I felt comfortable with but didn't love.

[geniph]

46. Screwing off in high school

and not getting a scholarship, so there was no way I could go to college except working full-time. After two years, I was just too tired to go on with it, so I still don't have my degree.

I regret my first marriage. I should never have done that. He was a very nice man, and he was all wrong for me and me for him. I knew it was a mistake when we were standing in front of the justice of the peace, yet I went through with it and caused him unnecessary pain and myself unnecessary stress and expense.

Letting my cats Jigger and Gamma outside that 4th of July weekend without water when it was too hot and too dry. They found something to drink for themselves. Antifreeze.

[DoveTurnedHawk]

47. That I Never Made a Move on My Friend I Was in Love With a Decade Ago

There was one night where I walked her home, and we hugged (as usual), and she gave me a gentle kiss on the neck. That was the night I should've gone for it.

I regretted it immediately, and ever since then, I have lived my life much more boldly.

DTH

[Magrittes Pipe]

48. I have never made sweet love to LynneSin.

:cry: