It's time for a DULL Friday Night Party Check In!

[Champ]

All the losers (people who don't get replies in threads, to posts, and kills threads) check in and join the party!

We have the Grill on
Hamburgers
Steaks
Chicken
and

A cooler full of something to drink when ya get thirsty
:beer:

[Lestat]

1. I'm up for it!

I have no life!

[texas1928]

64. Drink a few of Belladonna's specials and you will be up for awhile

If you catch my drift. ;)

[King Of Paperboys]

2. Here for now,

But not for long. Thanks for giving me the chance to check in.

[Champ]

No problem

:hi:

[bigwillq]

3. I would love to join in on that party

I'll take a cheeseburger, a chicken wing and a nice cold Heineken! Thanks!

[Insider]

16. did you miss the movie thread?

you used to show up there, right?

(attempting to mingle)

[AlCzervik]

4. Actually i'm enjoying my friday night.

this has been a lousy day but i gotta tell you, my daughter is having her friend sleep over and right now they are giggeling their heads off and generally just having a blast which is cheering me up.

[Champ]

9. That's great

Welcome to the party :hi:

[No2W2004]

5. So the dog looks at me and ask

Why the hell don't you go out more often?

I tell him 2 small kids tend to do that. Wait till they're old enough to start crashing parties on their own.

[texas1928]

6. what's up Champ?

:toast: Here is to Friday Night.

[Champ]

7. Not a whole lot

:toast:

How about you?

[texas1928]

11. just glad to be off, this week was a long and depressing one.

Way to many things happening at once around here. Plus I can not drink right now cause I may have to leave if these storms get close enough. The severe warnings keep getting closer.

[pagerbear]

8. Mmmmmmmmmm..................cheeseburgers............

And I'll have a margarita, too, if you have 'em. Otherwise a beer will do.

[Champ]

10. We only have special margaritas

Will you take one of those?

[pagerbear]

15. You betcha!

[EstimatedProphet]

30. What exactly is a special margarita?

Does it have something in it that is "special"?

[Champ]

31. Yeah

:)

[belladonna]

34. Shhh... don't tip him off and I'll let you keep the whip for awhile

:evilgrin:

[Champ]

37. I gotcha

You know I think we could make a pretty effective team if we joined forces :evilgrin:

[texas1928]

40. She does not need any help

She is dangerous by herself.

[belladonna]

41. Submit your resume

What can you do to these guys that I can't do for myself? Hmmmm????

[texas1928]

42. see what did I say.

Need I say more.

[belladonna]

47. Not so fast, Tex

Give him a chance to talk me into it... what'd you have in mind, Champ?

[texas1928]

56. Oh sorry

I did not realize you were lowering the trap on your prey. I will wait quietly over here while he gets tangled in your web.

[EstimatedProphet]

43. Hmpf

So, will my head spin from this "special" margarita?

[texas1928]

46. Here is a hint on what is in the drinks.

A man walks into the dentist's office and after the examination the dentist says, "that tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes."
The man grabs the doc's arm, "No way. I hate needles I'm not having any shot!"

So the dentist says, "okay, we'll have to go with the gas."

The man replies, "Absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas."

So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "here," he says. "Take this pill."

The man asks "What is it?"

The doc replies, "Viagra."

The man looks surprised, "will that kill the pain?" he asks.

"No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!"

[EstimatedProphet]

58. LOL!

So this is a viagra cocktail, huh? OK, I'm in!

[texas1928]

60. Now do you think your head will spin?

If mine did I would have to say OW!!!!

[texas1928]

12. Kick

:kick:

[belladonna]

13. So I hear you stole my whip?

Hand it over, and drink TWO margarita's as your punishment :spank:

[True_Blue]

18. -

[belladonna]

20. Did Champ pay you to take his punishment for him again?

What a wimp :eyes:

But hey, as long as you're willing to drink the margarita and bend over, I'll warm up on you until he comes out of hiding :evilgrin:

[joefree1]

54. Whoa, got half way down this thread and realize you's my people

Cheers. I don't need a drink as I'm carrying this here bottle of Chianti.

Want to hear a joke?

[belladonna]

59. Is it a dirty joke?

We LOVE dirty jokes... so yes, tell us a joke :hi:

[joefree1]

61. Sure

So Rush Limbaugh dies and goes to Hell. Its horrible. Burning fires. Hot bubbling lava! Incredible pain! No Oxycontin. He looks over and sees George W. Bush having sex with a beautiful woman. Non-stop, sweaty, constant, back-breaking sex.

So the next time Satan is going by on an inspection tour, Rush complains. "This sucks! I have to suffer for all eternity, and that White House squatting frat boy gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

The Devil replied, "Who are you to question my punishment of that woman?"



http://ediablo.com/ediablojokes.html

[belladonna]

69. I love it!!!

Got more? :D

[texas1928]

71. try this one.

I got a sweater for Christmas.





















I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

[joefree1]

73. This joke is just plain dirty

Donald Rumsfeld dies and is sent to Hell. Satan decides to personally escort the famous Secratary of Defense. The Devil takes Rummy to that part of Hell reserved for politicians. Satan shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.

So Satan opens the first door. In this room there are various people he remembers from the Ford administration standing in shit up to their waist. But Donald says "no,please show me the next room".

Satan shows him the next room and this has cabinet staff he remembers from the Reagan administration. But here they're standing with shit up to their ears, so he says no again.

Finally Satan shows him the third and final room. This time there are people he worked with in the Nixon administration. Here there is only shit up to their knees and they're drinking cups of coffee and eating cakes. So Donald says I'll choose this room please. Satan says O.K. and leaves Donald to greet his old buddys.
Five seconds later, a demon strolls in, and screams "OK you repukes, coffee breaks over, BACK ON YOU'RE HEADS!!"

[belladonna]

23. Okay, what's with the edited posts?

Anyone? :shrug:

[texas1928]

I guess he got embarrassed.

some guys don't like dominatrix

[pagerbear]

45. Isn't that "dominatrices"?

[texas1928]

48. Beats the hell out of me.

[pagerbear]

55. LOL

Touché

[Insider]

14. 4 wings & a pepsi, but

if something better comes up, i'm history.

i was just joking. i didn't mean it. :hi:

[Insider]

44. that's pretty bad when you have to reply to your own posts

in the "people who don't get replies" thread

but the wings are decent

[belladonna]

70. It may have been that "until something better comes along" comment

Just a guess :spank:

[Insider]

80. lame joke

where am i gonna go? :dunce:

[texas1928]

17. Can we get some Blues going on the band stand?

I need some sad stuff.

[Champ]

19. Blues?

I guess it's appropriate for a losers party

[belladonna]

21. What's with the sad stuff?

It's Friday night, the weekend is here.... what more do ya need? :shrug:

[texas1928]

24. Just have not really been feeling happy this week

Things just happened this week that kind of suck the life out of you.

[belladonna]

25. I know how it is

But hey, you've got a cold one, a DULL thread and a work free weekend coming up. Smile, okay? You're just lucky Champ still has my whip, or you'd have gotten it by now :D

[texas1928]

26. Just hit me in the head.

again and again

[belladonna]

29. Didja hear about the voodoo dick?

Hmmmm? Didja? That might bring a smile to your face :P

[texas1928]

33. yeah I wrestle it into my pants everyday.

the unruly thing

[belladonna]

36. Silly Tex

THIS voodoo dick

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=1293723&mesg_id=1294025

[texas1928]

38. This one makes me laugh out loud. It is a little long.

Notes: From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from Western New York:


Recently Frank was honored to be selected as an outstanding Famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a chili cook-off, mainly because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and Frank happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. He was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides they told him that he could have free beer during the tasting, so Frank accepted.

Here are the scorecards from the event:





Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili


JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.


JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.


FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.





Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili


JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.


JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.


FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to walkie-talkie in 3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face.





Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili


JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.


JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.


FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced.





Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic


JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.


JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.


FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.





Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover


JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.


JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.


FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!





Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety


JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.


JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.


FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!





Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili


JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.


JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.


FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.





Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili


JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.


JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yankee.


FRANK: --------------(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable To report)

[No2W2004]

39. Wiping tears from my eyes....

Hilarious!

[texas1928]

52. Yeah

I nearly wet myself the first time I read it. I have heard Northerners scream like that when they eat hot stuff.

[Radical Activist]

57. That was the funniest joke I've seen in a long time n/t

[EstimatedProphet]

22. Yeah! DULL party!

Got some brats for the grill, and a well-stocked bar! First round's on me!

[texas1928]

27. scotch straight up and in a tall glass.

you add water and there will be hell to play.

[Champ]

28. And plus I won't give the whip back

All I get is punishment and margaritas :evilfrown:

[belladonna]

32. Like I care

I have more in my closet, and the one I'm holding now? A lot better reach too, so run while ya can :evilgrin:

[Champ]

35. More?

:scared:

*runs from belladonna*

[flamingyouth]

49. Hello

I'm in. Not that you all care. :P

[texas1928]

50. Well Welcome in to the Lounge

Have a drink and listen to some blues.

[flamingyouth]

62. I'm way ahead of you there

:hi:

[Insider]

51. howdy

LOL love that comment on your profile.

:hi:

[flamingyouth]

65. Why, thanks!

:hi:

[belladonna]

53. Hey there, how are ya???

:hug:

Of course we care, and though you don't exactly qualify as a thread killer, you're welcome as far as I'M concerned.. and hey, I'm the boss :D

[flamingyouth]

66. Excellent!

Thanks :D

[Ksec]

63. Hi Ill join in. Hope I dont kill this thread though

I love Burgers with mustard and vidalia onions. Got any Vidalias? Oh and an ice cold one..whatevers been tapped is fine.

[texas1928]

67. Never this thread only dies

When we all pass out.

[belladonna]

72. Welcome to the DULL lounge

Beer's nice, but wouldn't you rather have a margarita? C'mon, I hear they're VERY good :D

[Ksec]

75. sure. Ill try one of those

and thanks for the welcome.

:toast:

[texas1928]

68. I got a joke

Jack and Jessica met on the beach, fell in love with each other at first glance, and after three days, were married. The wedding night was just as successful as it could be, but when Jessica awoke the following morning, she found her husband dressing.
She said, "Honey, where are you going?"

Jack said, "Darling, we married so rapidly, I had no chance to tell you that I'm a golf fiend. I play golf every day, I enter every tournament. I am afraid that you will rarely see me."

Jessica nodded and said, "Well, that's all right. After all, we married so rapidly, I had no chance to tell you, either, that I'm a hooker."

Jack said, "Oh sweetheart that's nothing - don't worry about that for a minute! It's easily corrected by holding the golf club like this..."

[texas1928]

74. Ok I'll try again, true story

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said Implants?"

She hit me.

[Ksec]

77. LOL

[Khephra]

76. It's going to be a dull week for me

My mother works nights and goes to school right now. And our roommate is out of town, so I'm all alone here at night. I can't sleep at night because our neighbors are being assholes with shooting off fireworks after 3AM. So I'm now on a night schedule. That's why you won't see me posting much during the day for a week.

But gods, sometimes the night is so boring. I can't concentrate on reading because of the fireworks, so I'm just playing video casino games all night.

[Eye and Monkey]

78. Sounds like you need to ask the house band for a special request...

Pick your poison, oh disgruntled one, and we see if we can raise your spirits....

[Khephra]

85. I'd ask for something, but I'm listening to Al Franken right now

And after that I'll be listening to the new Sonic Youth.

(Or did I miss a ref?)

[belladonna]

79. Hey, a fellow Manson fan

Help me take over and get rid of the George Strait stuff? Please???

[Khephra]

84. George Strait stuff?

Where?

[texas1928]

87. Who said anything about George Strait.

But we can break it down with some "Milk Cow Blues"

[belladonna]

81. Carry on without me

It just isn't the same without my whip, and Champ seems to have disappeared with it... night all

[texas1928]

82. Well see ya

later

[Radical Activist]

83. No!

I've got an extra whip AND a paddle somewhere...let me look

[Radical Activist]

86. Mike's Hard Lemonade

Anyone else drink this stuff? I tried it once before and decided to buy some tonight. Its pretty good and has a higher alchy content than many beers.
What do other people think of this stuff? I like it but I'm still not so sure about it.

[texas1928]

88. Never have

I like Icehouse Ale not the beer the Ale. It has such a light taste and really no after taste you drink them fast, and after about 4 or 5 you are wasted. This is Ale not beer.

[MAlibdem]

89. Drunk and high here...

and hiccuping up some beer.

[texas1928]

90. Some one get a bucket close to this guy

we may have a mess.

[MAlibdem]

91. no, no...

...i have an iron stomach...

[texas1928]

92. Sorry guys

Had to shut down for a while, was able to hear the lightening in my head set. So I had to shut down the PC for a while. Storms have calmed down now, well I guess you figured that since I am back on. Well good night DULL guys and gals.