The best song about heterosexuality ever written

[disinfo_guy]

(well from a male perspective at least) Ironically, by the most notorious bisexual in rock music. lol! btw, I guess this is my dubious introduction to DU. Trust me I've been lurking for a while :) :bounce:

Are you gonna take me home tonight
Ah down beside that red firelight
Are you gonna let it all hang out
Phat bottomed girls
You make the rockin' world go round

Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew life before I left my nursery
Left alone with big phat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Hey big woman you made a bad boy out of me
Hey hey!

I've been singing with my band
Across the wire across the land
I seen ev'ry blue eyed floozy on the way
But their beauty and their style
Went kind of smooth after a while
Take me to them dirty ladies every time

Oh won't you take me home tonight?
Oh down beside your red firelight
Oh and you give it all you got
Phat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Phat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

Hey listen here
Now your mortgages and homes
I got stiffness in the bones
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
Hey big woman you gonna make a big man out of me
Now get this

Oh you gonna take me home tonight (please)
Oh down beside your red firelight
Oh you gonna let it all hang out
Phat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Phat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Get on your bikes and ride

Oooh yeah them phat bottomed girls
Phat bottomed girls
Yeah yeah yeah
Phat bottomed girls
Yes yes

[BlackVelvetElvis]

1. Welcome to DU!

I love Fred. He was a childhood hero of mine.

[disinfo_guy]

8. thanks

I sure love the music

[Name removed]

2. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[King Of Paperboys]

3. I concur.

Who can argue with the logic?

[disinfo_guy]

6. not me

:)

[CharlesGroce]

4. well I'm not homosexual but...

the best song about homosexuality I can think of is "How Soon Is Now" by the Smiths. Check it out:

"I am the son, and the heir, of a shyness that is criminally vulgar. I am the summoner ... of ... nothing imparticular.

How can you say, that I go about things the wrong way, I am human and I need to be loved! Just! Like! Everybody! Else! Does...

Not that it matters if I'm not homosexual, I guess I should say I'm married. Or maybe I should say nothing.

Just read the lyrics and shut up! And actually check the song out!

[CharlesGroce]

5. Morrissey for President....

(lead singer of the Smiths)

[Beware the Beast Man]

7. "Big Dumb Sex" by Soundgarden

Because it's so tongue in cheek. And Chris Cornell sings "fuck" 35 times :)

[MercutioATC]

9. You DO realized that "phat" wasn't a word when this song was written...

It's "Fat Bottomed Girls"...just "fat"

[disinfo_guy]

10. but "phat" fits better now than "fat"

True at the time the spelling wasn't common - but now it explains the point better I think

[MercutioATC]

12. But they mean two different things...

Queen was singing about groupies with big asses...

However, I DO like your interpretation better.

[CanuckAmok]

11. "Heterosexuals Have the Right to Rock" - The Mentors

Sorry but I don't have the lyrics handy. Trust me, it's the best.

[Interrobang]

13. I like...

"Heterosexual Man" by The Odds, which is *so* over the top it has to be satire...

I wanna make every woman I see
I wanna make every woman I see
Do you know what's the matter with me?
I'm a heterosexual man
just a heterosexual man


I wanna do every woman I know
I wanna do it to them in their clothes
I wanna make it with them, don't you know
I'm a heterosexual man
It's just a problem with my glands


I'm a heterosexual, heterosexual man
I'm a heterosexual, heterosexual man


I wanna make every woman I see
I wanna make every woman I see
Maybe make 'em make a baby with me
'cause I'm a heterosexual man
just a heterosexual man


I wanna have every woman I know
I wanna have them take off their clothes
I'll make it with them unless they say no
'cause I'm a heterosexual man
I'll make it with them whenever I can


I'm a heterosexual, heterosexual man
I'm a heterosexual, heterosexual man
I'm a heterosexual duh, duh, duh, duh
duh, duh, duh, duh


I wanna get every girl on the globe
We kiss and hug and then we disrobe
It's a short curcuit in the frontal lobe
I'm a heterosexual man
It's just a problem with my glands


I'm a heterosexual, heterosexual man
I'm a heterosexual, heterosexual man...

I think the best song I know about being homosexual is probably Einsturzende Neubauten's song "Seele Brennt" (Soul Burns). I read an English translation of the words once, and they were pretty amazing. You can find the German lyrics here if you read German:

http://www.lyricallysquared.com/viewsong/Einstuerzende-Neubauten/Seele-Brennt/73327

[Piltdown13]

14. Not to nitpick...

but actually, Brian May wrote that song. (I was really into Queen in college (read lots of bios, bought every album) and am still a big fan...kind of scary I can still remember off the top of my head who wrote most of the big hits.) :hi:

[ForrestGump]

15. "The Hokey Pokey"

You put your left foot in
You put your left foot out
You put your left foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the Hokey-Pokey
And you turn your self around
That's what it's all about!