Dr. Tim: single fathers need to be remembered on Father's Day, too.

[Padraig18]

When our friend, Dr. Tim Morthland, fulfills his daily responsibilities at Sarah Bush Lincoln health Center, he drives back to his parents' home in Mattoon, where he spends the rest of the evening building trains, jumping on the trampoline, or perhaps playing hide and seek until bedtime.

Tim became a single parent two years ago, when his wife, Jennifer died of gastrointestinal cancer. His oldest daughter, Sarah, was 3 and his baby, T.J., was 1 year old at the time.

When he found out how ill Jen was, they decided that he should take the children to stay with his parents. He believed that they would be bringing them up on weekends. As it was, his parents were only able to bring them up one weekend. Jennifer died 33 days from the day she was diagnosed.

When Jennifer died, Tim was in the last year of medical school. He had earned a bachelor's degree in aeronautical engineering and a master's in mechanical engineering at the University of Illinois in Champaign. In 1997, he finished his doctorate and was teaching mathematics at the U of I.

It was about that time that he and Jennifer made a decision that changed his life dramatically. A deeply religious guy, Tim had a strong conviction that he was being 'called' to go into medical school. After Jen's death, he struggled with thinking that perhaps he should go back to the U of I and be a professor. He considered continuing in medical school and getting a nanny to care of the children, but he strongly believed that he needed to complete his residency and become board certified as a family physician.

Tim's family was broken, through no fault of his own, but he made the decision to return to central Illinois and the support of his parents. Tim's parents, Charles and Pat Morthland, felt coming home was the logical and natural thing for their son and his family to do.

Two years ago last spring, Tim graduated from medical school at the University of Illinois. Elected by the members of his class, he delivered the commencement address. The audience of 800 responded with a standing ovation. He is now in his second year of residency in family practice.

As Father's Day arrives again this year, however, it's obvious that the pain of losing a wife and mother is still there. Sarah, in particular, is filled with questions. She often wonders if they will get a "another mommy." That startled me the first time I heard her ask Tim that, but he explained that daddy had a whole lot of healing to do, and that he was going to have to put that decision into God's hands. That seemed to satisfy her.

Tim talks about the children and his life as it is now with great candor. Despite his family's tragedy and the difficulty of being a young, single father, Sarah and T.J. are going to be all right, I think. I find myself reflecting on the last verse of the book of Malachi whenever I think about Tim and the kids: "He will turn the hearts of the father to his children, and the hearts of the children to their father." Indeed!

Happy Father's Day, Tim!

:)