What happened on the day you died?

[St. Jarvitude]

Yes, yes, a terrible knockoff on the current lounge thread. But, hey, naturally, I'm curious :)

[Sandpiper]

1. How should I know

I was dead.

[northzax]

2. I died.

and it was so freaking gruesome that there was nothing else in the papers for months.

[northzax]

3. I died.

and it was so freaking gruesome that there was nothing else in the papers for months.

[Guy_Montag]

4. Second term president Jeb Bush

invaded the UK, after we refused to support the US invasion of France.:shrug:

[Speck Tater]

5. I was very old. The snow was falling

gently through the trees as the senior monks gathered around. I meditated deeply, awaiting the right moment to step consciously into the next world. It was late winter, sometime in the 1620's in east central China. I was a Buddhist monk.

Then there was the time I had my midsection blown apart by a Japanese hand grenade in the South Pacific. That was 1943. That's a hard one to forget.

[m-jean03]

10. I know we're just being silly. . .

Nonetheless, I found your first description very moving, fiziwig. :yourock:

[TN al]

6. Lyrical di was arrested...

...for suspicion of murder. Her attorney denied reports that while in custody she would laugh maniacally and repeat over and over "I did it and I'm glad." And that it took three deputies to pry the shotgun from her hands.

[GOPFighter]

7. On the day I died...

...I met God at the Pearly Gates. He beckoned me to follow him into a special room where he annointed me "GOPFighter" and sent me back to do finish his work on earth. "Banish those cockamamy neo-cons!" he said before I left.

[Az]

8. The universe ceased to exist

I'm telling you. If this solipsism thing is true you all better hope I don't die suddenly.

[zbdent]

9. The news of my passing was overshadowed by

the coverage of a local tupperware party.

[DarkPhenyx]

11. Reality ceased to exist.

This is becasue everything that is exists simply because I am and everyone here is a figment of my dertanged psyche.

[Unperson 309]

12. Several Things...

President Jenna Bush announced that there was no truth to the rumor that she and Senator Chelsea Clinton had been seen mud-wrestling at Harry Whodunnit's, a local skin-bar.

The Mars colony has experienced another strange computer malfunction in the food service sector and everyone had to eat mashed-potato anf turnip flavored ice cream. Since the colony was sold to Microsoft after the first disruptions, it has had a malfunction in some area almost daily.

The new methane powered hovercars came out, replacing the old Crisco powered hovercars. The latest fashion in perfumes was introduced, Petrolee, which carries the unmistakeable scent of the long vanished substance, gasoline. Dab a bit behind your ears and take your lover back to childhood days.

Another fifty troops were killed in Iraq today, it was announced, and the Secretary of Defense, Arnold Schwarzennegger praised the Deptartment of Cloning for making hardier soldiers, which has kept the death rate down for the last fifteen years.

The government has announced that ketchup is now a helthcare plan. Since most Americans have a bottle of the substance in their refrigerators, and most want to have universal healthcare, it will now be easy to combine the two. Each bottle of ketchup purchased will be tax deductible as a healthcare payment. Ketchup sells nationally for about three and a half Reagans.

The American Medical Association has announced a universal diagnosis. Now all diseases are to be reclassified as "Catsup Deficiency Syndrome". The treatment, of course, is to take large doses of catsup or ketchup, depending on how much coverage one can afford.

The National Church of America has scheduled a nationally televised service for Ronaldmas, which, of course, is a federal and state holiday.

The new federal currency chip is available for installation in citizens' hands or foreheads starting next week. Cost of installation will be ten Reagans.

Citizen Unperson 309 may have died today, executed for the crime of treason. It is said by eye witnesses in the employ of the government that 309 was seen skulking about the White House and was distinctly heard to shout "The Prez is a FINK!" before being hauled off to a secret detention center.

309