(Canine Press) WASHINGTON DC - Barney, the loveable "First Dog" is in fear of his saftey and held a press conference on the Front Lawn today to express his outrage with his treatment at the hands of the "president".
"I swear, I'll bite his fuckin' foot off and give it to the squirles if he gives me half a chance!" the Commander in Kibble said. "He drops me, when he gets drunk he does demeaning things like sniffing my ass, and a few times he's come close to steping on me. He's just an asshole." When asked about allegations involving peanut butter, Barney refused comment but added he is at work on his memoriors, tenativly titled "First Dog, My tortured existance with Bush". "Fala didn't have to go through this shit. Millie didn't, hell even that stupid cat that was here before me leaving cat turds all over was treated better than me. It will be all in the book. The shit he's pulled, you wouldn't fuckin' believe, and don't get me started on the rest of that fucked up family." Barney continued.
"I tell you, I know things....things that will make the SOB rue the day he dragged me away from my family. Anyone got a camera? I left a big "surprise" in his chair in his office and I wana get a picture of the look on his stupid inbread face. God, I fuckin' hate him."