Should I let my mother in law forget my wife's birthday?

[DoverFrank]

She emailed my wife already without mentioning her birthday, should I remind her of it, or let her be exposed for the self involved person she is? I had to remind her last year, what should I do this year?

Naturally, my mother called my wife first thing this morning and is having us over for dinner tonight. My wife's mother wont pick up a phone unless it involves HER! Im pissed and not feeling very nice right now.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. No..think of your wife..remind your MIL

[DoverFrank]

4. I did last year

Between all the kids missed birthdays and her generally uncaring attitude about all of us, Im tired of it. It feels like Im defending her or propping her up when I have to remind her to call her kids and grandkids on their birthdays.

I dont know what the hell to do.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

7. But in doing so...you take the high road

in looking out for her kid's feelings...you know what to do ;)

[demnan]

2. Someday you'll be self-absorbed and forgetful too

it's called getting older.

When you do, remember this moment.

[DoverFrank]

3. This isnt about getting older.

She can remember her other daughter's birthday just fine. And her kids birthdays. She is not old and not forgetfull, she is self involved and pretentious. My wife has never lived up to her standard.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

5. That's why it's important that you remind her

otherwise, it's just one more reminder to your wife that she doesn't measure up....a horrible light to be in with one's parent..

on edit: My point being YOU wouldn't want to do that to her on her bday

[ret5hd]

6. first...confess any minor transgressions to your wife...

you know, small things that you have been putting off telling her about... that $200 belt sander, the $70 bar tab, etc.

Then, DO NOT remind your MIL.

Any anger she has toward you will be redirected at her mother. Brilliant, huh?

Of course, there is always the possibility that it will ALL be blamed on you. So, of course, there is no warranty, express or implied, with this advise.

[DoverFrank]

9. lol

Thats not a bad idea but I dont know if I want to fess up to all my transgressions just yet. Clever tactic though :)

[Misinformed01]

8. Not only should you remind her; you should CALL her

so she can't claim she "didn't check her email."

Your wife already knows how her mother feels; she doesn't need to be reminded.

[oldcoot]

10. You might want to check out this web site

http://www.motherinlawstories.com/mother-in-law_stories_2004_06_23.htm

[DoverFrank]

11. Having a real hard time doing the right thing here.

I really dont want to be a bad guy here but this is a tough one. Im thinking about calling her tomorrow and giving her shit about it. Decisions decisions....

[Misinformed01]

12. Don't be a bad guy;

Just call her and say "hey...I know you are busy...but, wanted to remind you..."

Seriously, be the good guy-

[MuseRider]

13. Call her, please.

My mother was like that. Usually about 2 weeks after my birthday she would drive over unexpectedly and throw (yes, she dented the wall once) a wrapped gift in the door, scream at me and then leave. It hurts, it really does. Your wife knows how she is. This is just you being a wonderful, caring husband and sparing her the grief.

[histohoney]

14. Please

please do call, not for your in law but for your wife.
I went to college with the nicest girl, and every year her selfish, snotty, self absorbed parents would forget her birthday. (These are the same people that took a "Couples" ski trip every Christmas and left her with the grandparents or the maid, she could never remember a Christmas with them,nor a family trip.) Two or three weeks after her birthday she would get a card and a check,no call.

After she married the best guy you'll ever meet (The parents HATED him, not rich or prestigious enough I guess.)she started getting cards ON her birthday and a call. She knew it was Dale's work, she never told him that she knew, but she cried when she told us girls, she was so touched that he would go out of his way and put up with her parents for her.

Call man, call for your sweety, please!