All I gotta say is...LMAO

[Avonrepus]

This is an absolute joke, some of the signs don't even make sense and look like one off experiences of the moron who wrote it. Look at the last one for god sakes, "you parade around in 5mile per gallon limos", is he talking normal people?

Signs that you may be a Liberal.....


You are against the War on Terror, but are only too happy to make millions of dollars by making movies about it.

You preach about the evils of Capitalism from the comfort of your $10 million Beverly Hills palace

You think OJ is really looking for the killers
.
You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon

You believe that if all guns were banned all crime would disappear

You think the government should have more control over the private lives of the people

You believe 1 + 1 = 2, or 3, or 4...as long as the child's self-esteem doesn't get hurt.

You believe the Bible is racist, sexist, and homophobic, but think the Koran should be required reading

You believe all hell would break loose if it werent for the UN.

You think Israel is the sole problem in the Middle-East

You said it was "un-ethical" for Bush to accept campaign donations from the NRA, but said nothing when Clinton accepted campaign donations on behaf of the Communist Chinese government.

You think Saddam had WMDs when Clinton was in office, but all of the sudden, didn't have them when Bush was in office.

You believe President Bush is too dumb to be President and Arnold
Schwarzenegger is too dumb to be Governor of California, but the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, Alec Baldwin, Barbra Streisand, Eddie Vedder and Jeanine Garofalo are qualified to discourse at length on foreign policy

You think that porn should be federally protected per Freedom of Speech, but Natvaity scenes should be illegal

You applaud Jimmy Carter for talking about Human Rights, but screamed and shouted when President Bush actually did something about it.

You think a lawyer taking 33% from a settlement for his services is fair, but the Government taking 33% of your paycheck for taxes is "too low"

You find Christianity and anything relating to it potentially harmful to you and your children, but you're completely open-minded to Buddism, Taoism, witchcraft, etc

You think Christians should be federally monitered, but those arriving from areas known to be hostile to the US, should have, un-questioned access

You think we should have given Saddam 12 more years, and then 12 more on top of that, if he didn't comply by then

You think if a person makes more than $50,000/year, then he/she is cheating people and ripping them off.

You think being able to play the President on a popular TV drama automatically equates to "political wisdom" in real life.

You think if somebody disagrees w/what is being said, they are challenging or denying your rights to Free Speech

You scream and shout about Christians ramming their beliefs upon you, but you say nothing when Athiests do the same

You think the ACLU really gives a damn about individual rights

You think that poverty is caused by the wealthy

You think the Dixie Chicks and Tim Robbins should say what they want, but O'reilly, Hannity, and Limbaugh should be censored

You screamed and shouted when Ah-Nold allegedly groped women, but cheered when Bill Clinton did the same.

You protested American intervention in the Middle-East, because we did not have UN approval, but supported American intervention in Haiti, Somalia, and Bosnia, even though we did not have UN approval.

You are against sexual harrasment except when committed by a Kennedy or a Clinton

You object to little old ladies wearing fur, but not bikers wearing leather

You think that Doctors should be made into government bureaucrats, but that lawyers should not

You think O.J. is actually innocent, but that Bernard Goetz is not

You are against prayer in public schools..... even before the SAT

You only watch "All in The Family", because Meathead made so much sense

You think the answer to ANY crime, infraction, or injustice is counseling

You think having an open-mind means being "pro-Gay", "anti-Christian", "anti-Business", and "anti-Conservative".

You think only white people can be racist

You think Rush Limbaugh and Michael Reagan are mean spirited racists and promote hate crime but Maxine Waters, John Conyers and Louis Farakahn aren't and don't

You think that tax cuts hurt poor people and are uncompassionate but taking 30% from their paychecks is compassionate

You believe that posting the "Ten Commandments" in schools will hurt the children, but putting books in the library that promote homosexuality, paganism, ect "helps" the children.

You think that the only way the tragedy at Columbine could have been avoided was to outlaw legal, private gun ownership....even though the guns used were obtained illegally in the underground market

You think that pouring blood on a $1,500 fur coat is a sure-fire way to get your message across, but if anyone protests outside an abortion clinic, they're extremists!

You make snide remarks to guys for looking at women but champion Clinton's right to do whatever he wants with his interns

You think that the four cops who beat Rodney King should have been thrown in jail forever, but the four thugs who beat Reginald Denny should have fair justice

You called Vietnam Veterans "baby killers" but think that allowing a woman to dump her new-born in a trash can should be a "Constitutionally protected right".

You get mad when rape victims' sexual history is plastered all over the news media, but demand Paula Jones' sexual history "must be made public

You hear a news report of a man beat nearly to death because he is a minority or gay and you rally about punishing the bigot who committed the terrible act BUT, if you hear a news report of a man beat nearly to death for his money, and you start talking about the poor disadvantaged person who is forced to commit such acts to survive

You marched against American involvement in Vietnam, thought the Gulf war was unnecessary but believe 25,000 U.S. troops in Bosnia, Serbia, and Haiti are vital to our national interests

You would have supported the war Iraq, if Clinton or Gore was President

You are againsst censorship unless it's censoring race, Christianity, Conservatism, Western culture, Rush Limbaugh, or Ann Coulter

You cry, "You can't legislate morality," but defend the Roe v. Wade decision in order to legalize your moral position on abortion

You think Jesse Jackson is a good role model for Black youth.

You think hunters don't care about the enviroment, but wacky Seattle folks who have never stepped foot outside of their local Starbucks, do.

You think eating meat should be illegal

You think the Government should issue a mandate stating all foods must be "organically grown"

You think it takes a village, instead of parents, to raise a child

You think tolerance of your opinions and acceptance of your opinions go hand-in-hand

You believe that doctors are over-paid, but Trial Lawyers are not.

You think the name of God and Jesus should never be allowed to be uttered, unless in profanity

You scream and shout over alleged "violence" in Mel Gibson's "The Passion", yet you flocked to see "Kill Bill", "Freddy VS. Jason" , "The Texas Chainsaw Massacure" and play "Unreal" and "Duke Nuke'em", "Grand Theft Auto", ect. and said nothing about the violence portrayed in those.

You think that Celebrities and other media icons have the right to Free Speech and those who agree with them have the right to Freedom of Speech, but those who dare to disagree with them do not.

You think Ah-Nold should not be in politics because he's "just a celebrity", but you would have endorsed Martin Sheen, Sean Penn and company based on that sole criteria

You slam Ah-Nold for his father having alleged ties to the Nazi when you have a known and un-apologetic Klansman and public anti-Semite in your own company (Sen. Byrd)

You think Hollywood can say or do no wrong and should be treated as such

You think a child who is quietly and privately saying Grace before a meal at school, constitue the said child ramming his/her beliefs upon others

You are quick to bash Bush because of the decline in the economy, but when the economy improved, you refused to give credit and stated that Bush was not responsible, because as President, he had no control over the flow of the economy.

You turn a blind eye to the suicide bombings at the hands of radical fanatics, but condemn Israel and the Western World for wanting to keep their people safe from Terrorism

You think if Sean Penn or Martin Sheen said so, it should be hearlded as an instant, un-deniable truth.

You cheered and applauded when Clinton stated he "smoked pot but never inhaled" and at the same time, screamed and shouted when Rush Limbaugh admitted to being addicted to LEGALLY OBTAINED MEDICATION

You think Freedom of Speech is reserved for those who think as you do, but not for anybody else

You ban the Bible in schools because of Church/State, then welcome Islamic and New-Age, and other religion teachings in the same school

You think every problem can be solved by simply throwing money at it

You think more taxes are an ecomomic cure-all

When a violent crime is comitted with a gun, you think it's the gun itself, and not the offender, who is responsible

You blame the NRA, and not the criminals, for violent crime with guns

You think Freedom of Speech and agreeing with what is being said go hand-in-hand

You think everything wrong in the world is automatically Bush's fault and everything right in the world is automatically because of Clintoin

You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared")

You think that being a Hollywood icon automatically means you are more "in tune" to world events than the leaders of the country

You complain about the SUVs and other less-econmical cars, yet you parade around in a 5-mile-per-gallon limo

[Guaranteed]

1. Where did this crap come from? nt

[Avonrepus]

4. Rightnation

Where else?...well maybe Freerepublic.

[Guaranteed]

6. Every single one of those points are distorted.

It's unbelievable how much they truly do not understand what's right, and what's wrong.

They're telling US that WE think the government should have more control over people's private lives?? WTF? Totally clueless.

[Avonrepus]

2. Uh Oh there's more

continued)

You think that you can understand politics from Hollywood and activist celebrities without doing any research yourself

You ban Tom Sawyer from schools for being "racist" but you approve of My Two Moms as wholesome and acceptable.

You think every solution to every problem can be solved with bigger Government

You think people should be rewarded for laziness, but hard-working people should be taxed dry

You frown upon self-thought and independent thought.

You think convicted criminals and democratic politicians who screw up are worth understanding and forgiving but conservative politicians and religious people who speak their opinion should be banned from public service.

You think that tolerance equals acceptance and anyone who doesn't accept a liberal cause is a racist or bigot.

You throw down the "race card" as your only argument.

You think terrorists and arsonists who burn down private property and harass businesses are noble but the troops who liberated Iraqis are war criminals.

You think that violent protests and domestic terrorism are how you affect change in our country instead of voting.

You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.

You find charisma to be an appropriate replacement for honesty.

You find flashy rhetoric to be a suitable substitute for sincerity.

You don't believe willful omissions of facts should be considered lying.

You have a problem with the mention of God in the Pledge of Allegiance, but have no qualms about it being printed on your wonderful money.

You simultaneously piss on our country and its system while reaping its rewards.

You refuse to acknowledge any contributions to society that were not made by minorities.

You continue to trash America, claiming how horrible and evil it is, yet you refuse to leave

You think Yassar Arrafat was deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize

You think guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of a hate filled dictator.

You believe that people should not have to be expected to take responsibility for their actions

Mothers who are drug addicts should be allowed to have children and to raise them while they're addicted.

Capitalism oppresses people and Socialism liberates people.

You think the Governnment should provide "entitlement" programs, rather than expect us to earn what we have

You refuse to lift a finger to save an unborn baby but at the same time, rush to the aid and defense of violent serial-felons on death row

You think teachers should not use the class-room to promote politics, unless the teacher is promoting anti-Conservative agendas, then it becomes a matter of "Free Speech".

You try to make excuses on behalf of terrorism

You believe in choice except when it comes to retirement, schools, health care, and religious speech

You think Clinton was an "honest and virtuous man"

You believe that unwed teenage mothers should get a paycheck from the Government

You ignore more than 50 years of medical warnings about tobacco use, but when you get cancer, the tobacco company is to blame.

You think society "owes you a living"

You somehow believe that George Bush is more dangerous than Bin Laden, Saddam, Hitler, ect.

You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

You somehow think that a President who lied under oath, compromised with fanatical dicators, and gave military technology to hostile regimes is somehow better for America than the present Administration.

You believe that 9/11 was an "Israeli conspiracy" and could never have been carried out by Bin Laden or his croonies

You think the best way to deal with terrorist regimes is to please and appease them.

You want to legalize drugs but outlaw tobacco.

You want what you feel "you deserve", instead of what you earn

You think it's OK to be dis-honest, if personal gain is at stake

You can exaggerate the facts and make up fiction to prove your point

You think trial lawyers suing corporations with lawsuits that deny any personal accountability on the part of the plantiff is OK

You spew out your rhetoric, but have nothing to back it up.

You think that "truth" is irrelevant.

You think the Corporations are evil, but Communism and dictatorships are "noble"

You think the UN is an efficient governmental body

You like to say that you fight discrimination, then you turn around and give "perks" simply based on race.

You think the Kennedy Family was a "respectable family" but call George Bush a "Hitler"

You think traits like honesty and character are "out-dated"

You think that the minority should have the right to force their will upon the majority

You think 1 white and 20 blacks is "diversity"

You somehow think taking guns away from honest citizens will reduce crime by violent offenders

You somehow think Saddam and Bin Laden are better for the world than President Bush

You believe people should do what you say, but not what you do

You preach "peace" and "love" and "non-violence" and "anti-gun laws" but appear in movies that glorify guns, explosives and twisting people's heads of with martial arts to win over the bad guys.

You deride Bush for landing on a plane to boost moral and show his gratitude to the troops but you praise Clinton for using the military as a social program to force gays into the ranks and lowering moral.

You think the "all Men are created equal" comments in the Declaration Of Independance means that they are actually equal in ability (as opposed to being given equal opportunity) and no one should make a choice about them based on their actual abilities to perform.

You think a person's sexual preference, and not their ability to perform, should be the deciding factor in who-gets-what job.

You think demanding respect is more important that actually doing something to earn it

You think the "right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances" means breaking into military installations during wartime, stopping commerce, and breaking nudity laws are what the founding fathers meant.

You think Conservatives should be held to a different, and higher standard than you are willing to meet, yourself

You claim you are "offended" by Christianity, yet you still partake in the Christmas festivities and demand a paid holiday.

You think SUVs are supportive of terrorists, but houses with 10 car garages are A-OK

You think "choice" applies only to abortion

You think the word "unilateral" is defined as "without France, Germany, and Russia"...

You think that every misbehaving child has ADD and needs to be doped-up on Ritalin.

You think that racial hatred is wrong, but class hatred is acceptable

You call Conservative millionaires "greedy", while calling Liberal millionaires "hard working", "creative", or "clever"

One day you label President Bush as just a "stupid hick from the sticks" and the next day call him an "evil genius"

You believe that condoms and clean needles should be handed out at school, but Bibles must not be allowed

You believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't

You believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high

You refuse to wave or salute the American flag, because America has so many things wrong with it

You think since Clinton only "smoked and didn't inhale" pot, it's OK

You preach against racial/sexual bias, but turn around and endorse Affirmative Action

When you boycott a Conservative person and/or company you call it "Freedom of Choice"....but when Conservatives boycott, you call it "McCarthyism".

You think Church/State means that religion should be banned from all aspects of public and private life

You begin every sentannce with "I (or we) demand".....

You think "illegal alien" is a derogatory word.

You have ever used the expressions “that poor guy,” or “he couldn’t help it” to describe a convicted murderer

You have an "I'm the victim" mentality and every day, milk it dry

You think Barbara Steisand really cares about the Iraqi children

You think Iraq was just a "War for Oil"

You think Bin Laden is not really all that bad, and is just "mis-understood"

You think evangelical is a dirty word

You think the New York Times is a "beacon of truth", but Fox News is just a book of lies

You think Maureen Dowd should get the Nobel Prize for Journalism

You complain that Fox News has a "slight Conservative edge", but say nothing about the far-to-the-Left Liberal bias of CNN, New York Times, BCC, ect

You think Sen. Joseph McCarthy was "evil" but the American Commies he tried to expose within the State Dept were "heroic"

You think Jimmy Carter handled Iran just fine and dandy.

You refer to President Bush a "Hitler" as your defense to any critisism on your stance/position

You think if a Conservative is under investigation, it should not matter whether or not the allegations are true/false, but should be totally based around the seriousness of the said allegations.


You think Jayson Blair is an honest and legitimate journalist
You think that rights of gays, lesbians, drag queens (or kings) should be forcibly recognized, but rights of Christians/Jews should be denied

You believe that we can "spend our way" out of the deficit

No trees should be cut down, even if they're dead

.The government should tax every last bit of your paycheck.

You think that Saddam, Stalin, and Hitler were "noble" and in the same breath, you call President Bush "evil".

You think morals and integrity are not relevant and should not stand in the way of personal gain

You would rather have a President who spend his Administration caving in to terrorist demands in a frenzy to please and appease them, rather than a President who is fighting them to make the world a safer place for all..

And Finally......................................................

You may be a Liberal if you think Ralph Nader cares abou
t consumers, Unions care about their members, the ACLU cares about civil liberties, the National Education Association cares about education, People for the American Way care about the American way, and Bill Clinton cares about anything other than Bill Clinton.

[Guaranteed]

15. This is fucking ridiculous.

You shouldn't have posted this. It's just going to really, really piss people off with its ignorance.

[Paradise]

28. it seems we fall for it every single time, bgl, don't we?

personally, not interested in this kind of b.s. and sick of it, to boot.
realize i responded but didn't read past the first b.s. line before giving my generic response/s.

[shaolinmonkey]

17. I missed this one:

"You think that Saddam, Stalin, and Hitler were "noble" and in the same breath, you call President Bush "evil"."

That is utter garbage. Who ever said these people were noble? Honestly, wingnuts scare the crap out of me. You could gently remind the sender of this that all three of these men are considered right-wing dictators. Just because Stalin said he was communist, doesn't make him any lest fascist.

[TXlib]

29. "You find charisma to be an appropriate replacement for honesty."

It sure as shit works for GWB, n'est-ce pas?

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

3. Anyone want to pass along the memo

that the vast majority of Democrats are poor? :shrug: :wtf:

[DarkPhenyx]

11. Particularly the ones...

...living in the $10 million mansions in BH.

[Avonrepus]

13. IT's lines like this that annoy me

"You believe that condoms and clean needles should be handed out at school, but Bibles must not be allowed"

They're not even related!

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

14. Should we point out

the direct line where it states that there must be a separation between church and state? Or do we need to point out that Bibles are religious documents? Where do you think that disconnect lies?

[wtmusic]

5. They got us pegged

Wow, I didn't realize I was so stupid. Imo knock out some teeth, read Anne Coulter, and make me smart!

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

8. Don't you worry none.

We'll learn you right!

[King Of Paperboys]

7. Goddamn libruls!

If you all are doing all that, when do you have time to pick up your welfare checks?

[DarkPhenyx]

9. Clueless e-trash.

The same crap that my con-cow-irker brings to me occasionally, or at least did till I told him to go fuck himself. A little changing would make it as equally applicable to the Conservative. It's useless to try however. They won't read it, if they do they won't care, and it would be just as stupid and irrelevant. It also wouldn't be any more true.

[shaolinmonkey]

10. I hate these things, first of all

"You think the government should have more control over the private lives of the people"

You mean like telling people who they can sleep with and what they can do in bed?

"You believe 1 + 1 = 2, or 3, or 4...as long as the child's self-esteem doesn't get hurt."

Right, and as long as they know that evolution is only a theory (social darwinism not withstanding) and creationism is a fact.

"You believe the Bible is racist, sexist, and homophobic, but think the Koran should be required reading"

Ummmm, who requires the Koran?

Stupid, stupid freepers.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

16. About the Koran "requirement"

Heaven forbid we actually take time to learn what other cultures are like so that we could actually understand them instead of merely trying to kill them... :eyes:

[shaolinmonkey]

21. A little comparative religion could do this country a lot of good.

And the world, for that matter.

[MissMillie]

12. If you make the argument

simple enough, anyone can defeat it. I guess that's their theory.

I have never seen a more gross misrepresentation of liberal ideology.

[Avonrepus]

18. The thing is

They genuinely believe it to be true, "nail on the head" stuff, no sense of how exaggerated or generalised it all is.

All they say is "damn that is soo true <insert their own poor generalisation> <insert refernce to hollywood or a Clinton>" <emoticon>

[Screaming Lord Byron]

19. You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon

Huh? I fail to see the connection, and I'm a socialist.

[ET Awful]

25. Lenin was the rumored fifth Beatle? n/t

[YellowRubberDuckie]

20. And THEY think WE don't do our own research!?

Damn, all of that stuff is FALSE! The people who speak out most liberally, sure have a few bucks more than the rest of us NOW...but most of them GREW UP POOR!

And this piece of trash: You think Freedom of Speech and agreeing with what is being said go hand-in-hand.
Um, I think they're mixing up what they believe with what we believe. God, this just pisses me off. It's false false FALSE!!! UGH UGH UGH!!!
Duckie

[Paradise]

22. we know who we are and what we stand for,

and don't need to be told! :hi:

[Avonrepus]

23. Well i think we do

After all, Conservatives argue with facts, as lowly liberals argue with emotion.

They must understand how we work, we're far too irrational to ever do that.

[Paradise]

27. you think we need to be told who we are and what we stand for?

then these lists you have provided are for you, and i respect that.
furthermore,
i, personally, don't give a damn what those who concocted these lists do or do not understand! :)

[ET Awful]

24. Hmmmmm

"You somehow think that a President who lied under oath, compromised with fanatical dicators, and gave military technology to hostile regimes is somehow better for America than the present Administration."

They're talking about Reagan right? :) :) :)

[Bertha Venation]

26. self-congratulatory horseshit lies and there's no rational way to answer

them.

They don't come from rational minds.

[TXlib]

30. Oh,, shit!

They figured out our liberal plan for the destruction of America!

Which one of you fuckers leaked "The Memo"?!

:tinfoilhat:

[Blue-Jay]

31. Here's my question about these kinds of garbage.

Surely the author of this crap isn't dumb enough to actually believe most of those gross distortions and outright lies. So why write it? Are they trying to convince stupid people to vote Repuke?

Here's a news flash: Stupid people ALREADY vote for Republicans! Why waste your time making up dumb crap like this?

[Duncan Grant]

32. I bow to the superior mind; I feel safe now.

You think O.J. is actually innocent, but that Bernard Goetz is not

You only watch "All in The Family", because Meathead made so much sense

You think Jesse Jackson is a good role model for Black youth.

You think only white people can be racist

You think Rush Limbaugh and Michael Reagan are mean spirited racists and promote hate crime but Maxine Waters, John Conyers and Louis Farakahn aren't and don't

and out of the same fevered minds, comes this little gem:
You think the name of God and Jesus should never be allowed to be uttered, unless in profanity

My 2 cents on all this? I think this might be helpful:
Main Entry: cognitive dissonance
Function: noun
: psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously

Now, what's next?

edit: TMI

[afraid_of_the_dark]

33. I'd respond to this...

but I think the driver of my 5 mpg limo to take me to my $10 million mansion is waiting for me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some required Koran reading to finish. :eyes: