Bad Names to Have

[name not needed]

Magic Johnson(Think about that one:) )

Any more?

[Bill McBlueState]

1. Coral Rief

was the name of the teller at the bank today. Not such a bad name, but I bet it sucks getting the same set of comments over and over again your entire life.

[Az]

2. My dad can beat that (bad pun there)

Richard Johnson aka Dick Johnson. Found out that his middle name is actually Arabic for Peter. Dick Peter Johnson. Sheesh.

[gpandas]

69. knew a harry johnson

[chatterboy]

3. How about the U.S. attorney ...

... investigating the Plame case?

Patrick Fitzgerald.

[pagerbear]

4. Tori Navey

My best friend in college.

[Gothic Sponge]

5. Anything with Bush as a last name.

[MrBenchley]

6. Steve Hitler

I actually met him...he lives in a small town where there was a Hitler family living long before WW2, and most folks there don't think anything of the name.

[Blue-Jay]

7. Seymour Pecker <---- not making it up, either!

I ran across that name in my database at work. (mortgage stuff)

A few years ago, I also spoke with Hilarious Buttweiler on the phone while I was at work.

[slackmaster]

8. I knew a guy named Mike O'Kane, but here's a link to something worse

http://www.ns.nie.edu.sg/faculty/chewsf.htm

[Blue-Jay]

10. Baaahahahahahaha!

Everyone needs to click on that link.

[slackmaster]

75. A quick anecdote with another bizarrely transliterated Chinese name

A friend of mine used to work for a county welfare department here in southern California. She helped poor women fill out the forms to get AFDC, food stamps, etc. One woman had lost track of the father of her child. She said she'd only met him once, he fathered the child, and promptly went back home to China.

He told her his name was Thing Deep.

[slackmaster]

76. ignore

Wrong place in the tree.

[Bertha Venation]

9. John van ten Dyck

E.T. Land

the only two I remember from my days opening mail at a Christian radio broadcast.

Oh, there was also Max & Mabel Poorman, who sent a check for $700. Every week. Not month -- week.

[tilsammans]

11. Or Woody Johnson

NY Jets owner.

[MnFats]

12. "Treacherous Fuse"

as a journo i once so that name on a police report -- and this was the crime VICTIM! someone stole his car. who the hell is going to rip off a guy named Treacherous Fuse?

also: My wife, when she was a classroom teacher, had a student whose first name was "Mister."

the best, though, was her student named "Harry Bahls."

[Az]

15. Worked with a Harry Bott

That name was fun to say over the PA.

Currently work with a D Death. We always get calls when he logs onto someones computer claiming a Dr Death is hacking their system.

Knew a girl named Crystal Shanda Lear.

A customer of my GF's company claims his name is Rex Hiscox.

[Teddy_Salad]

13. I knew a girl once named 'Anita Dick'

What the heck were her parents thinking? :shrug:

[slackmaster]

14. I worked with an Anita Dirdo

Last name pronounced like Deer-Doe.

It was very hard to keep a straight face.

[Eye and Monkey]

73. Ben Dover - no joke - was my counselor at summer camp.

He had a sister - I'm not joking - named Eileen Dover.

Needless to say, being adolescents, he was always referred to by both names. Ya gotta wonder about the parents.

[lgreen]

17. bad names

I once met a woman named Anita Cumalot. Yikes!

[Teddy_Salad]

21. Come on! I don't believe you

:P

[lgreen]

47. I'm serious!

I'm serious! I work for a car rental company and she used to rent cars from us.

[IronLionZion]

16. Candy Easter

is the name of a woman I worked with. Her parents named her Candy and she married a fellow with the last name Easter.

There's a family in my town with the last name Butts and I know someone named Harry Dick.

[Blue-Jay]

18. Another one: Cristal Shanda Lear

She was one of my flautists when I was student teaching. When I found out her middle name, I almost couldn't look at her without cracking up.

[Speck Tater]

55. My father worked for a man named Lear

who gave his daughter that very name. This was sometime in the early 1950's. Any chance it's the same girl?

[Blue-Jay]

62. Nah. This girl was born in the 70's.

I was student teaching in 1988, and she was 16 or 17 at the time.

[IronLionZion]

19. I met a guy whose last name is Shithole

no joke, but it was pronounced: (shee toe lay)

[Richardo]

20. For the English, 'Randy Johnson'

"Ron Jeremy has quite the randy johnson, eh wot?"

[name not needed]

22. I heard he has more of a magic johnson, eh?

:)

[LynneSin]

23. Peter Wack and David Peed

They were customers I had a long time ago when I was working a phone helpline

[DoctorWeird]

24. Worst Names

"Katherine Gross" - During Middle and High school with a last name like gross you damn well be the best looking kid on the planet

"William Wimpy"

[Redleg]

25. Richard Cranium.

That's Dick Head for short.

[GOPisEvil]

26. If you ever need a urologist: Dr. Dick Chop here in Austin is recommended.

Actually, I hear he really is quite a good urologist.

[Redleg]

27. Harry Balls.

How deliciously puerile of me!

[phillybri]

28. Dick Trickle:NASCAR driver...

Yikes...

[soleft]

29. Rusty Kuntz

Used to play for the Tigers

[shawmut]

35. Had his old baseball card

For me and my friends, finding a Rusty Kuntz card back when we were kids was like finding gold. :D

[TSIAS]

64. Rusty Kuntz also coached 3rd Base for the Marlins

His replacement, Cox, is just not as funny.

[Speck Tater]

30. As a kid my dentist was Dr. Payne.

And I knew a cook in the Air Force named Russel Grubb. He could russel up grub like nobody's business.

[AngryAmish]

31. Never mind

See #8 above

[Blue-Jay]

32. Bad Link. See reply #8 - n/t

[Bridget Burke]

33. Ima Hogg

Daughter of Texas Governor Jim Hogg, philanthropist who helped Houston get some culture in the first part of the 20th century. She was named after the heroine of a romantic poem, lived to be 93 and never married.

www.tsha.utexas.edu/handbook/online/articles/view/HH/fho16.html

Texas schoolyard gossip said she had sisters named Ura & Hesa; this is not true!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

70. She was such an inspirational woman!

Here are some pics:

[GumboYaYa]

34. Dick Fister

I actually know someone with that name.

[shawmut]

36. Dick Sweat

[slackmaster]

46. That was spelled Swett

He was a member of the US House of Representatives.

[dolo amber]

37. Peter Enright

:D

[UGABrother]

38. Enola Gay..

For those who don't know, that't the name of the plane that dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima.

Not sure if the parents had really bad taste or were just ignorant.

[Richardo]

43. I always wondered if it was significant that 'Enola' backwards is 'Alone'

[Burma Jones]

39. Justin Case and Seymour Wiener

Both real...

[LynneSin]

40. Don't forget this guy ran for Sheriff in South Carolina: Mike Hunt

http://aikenonline.com/stories/033104/new_hunt.shtml

[nini]

41. I know of someone named "Primatene"

I swear to god.. the parents thought it was 'pretty'.

:eyes:

[northzax]

42. ladies and gentlemen

boys and girls of all ages...I present to you:


Dr. Dick Tapper, Urologist. http://www.genito-urinary-surgeons.com/physicians.shtml#tapper

Also:
Dr. Harry C Beaver, OB/GYN www.hcbmdbom.medem.com/

talk about preordained career paths.

[drumwolf]

44. people i actually knew in real life

In high school, there was a guy who had the last name "Turdo." Fortunately for him, he was a bit of a tough guy, and he was more than capable of defending himself if he took any shit for his name.

In college, I knew someone whose last name is now spelled "Kourepenos" -- after he legally changed the spelling. Guess what it was before then.

:evilgrin:

And I had a co-worker with the last name Wakoff, who married someone whose last name was Weiner.

No joke, any of these.

ON EDIT: OK, I just realized that I unwittingly made a pun with the last sentence of the first paragraph -- "took any shit for his name" and "Turdo." That was unintentional, I swear.

[CO Liberal]

45. I Grew Up With a Kid Named "Tom Collins"

His parents were tee-totalers, and didn't realize the drink connection to his name.

BTW, Tom's best friend was a kid named "Pete Moss".

:-)

[TheCentepedeShoes]

48. Plum Raspberry

[afraid_of_the_dark]

49. Gay Longfellow

A real estate agent in the Midwest - so their name was on every "For Sale" sign when houses were put on the market.

[Endangered Specie]

50. Jack Cumming

I could probably think of a hundred with my dirty mind.

[Endangered Specie]

51. Harry Bush

[rinsd]

52. Mike Hunt (nt)

[Brewman_Jax]

53. Richard Dix

No kidding!

[name not needed]

56. dick dix

:)

[GOPisEvil]

54. Dick Pound. Chairman of the World Anti-Doping Association.

[Az]

57. Making matters worse with computers

As a sysadmin I get to see a lot of names go through the torture of login ID creation. Where I work our format is the letter "a" the first 5 letters of the last name and then the first letter of the first name. This can have consequences.

Some interesting names we have generated.

asoltit
aluskok
ahomeo1

[SarahB]

58. Gaylord Focker

[ChickMagic]

59. This is a tedious story *yawn*

I was just talking to a man outside today who's last name is "Beaver". When I was in high school I had to fill out those IBM forms that only allowed 6 letters for your first name. Had I been related to the guy outside, I would have been "Virgin Beaver".

[Brahma Bull]

60. Jack Schitt.

Dumb Schitt.
O. Schitt.
Noe Schitt.

:D

[Red State Rebel]

61. Retired Nascar Driver - Dick Trickle...

Sounds like it's time for a penecillin shot...

[TSIAS]

63. Mike Oxlong

I guess it's good if you can live up to the hype. If not, I'd just go by Michael.

[NicoleM]

65. Guy Penis.

Israeli TV show host.

[politicat]

66. The surgeon who repaired my wrist...

Dr. Metzger.

Metzger being German for butcher or meat-cutter.

Gave me great confidence in him.

(The surgery went off well.)

However, our Vet is incredible, and appropriately named. Dr. Katz.

P'cat

[Bjornsdotter]

67. Dick Short

Hi,

This doof lives in the same town as me....he was the lawyer for the people we bought our house from. Our lawywer couldn't stop laughing during the closing...very mature, but it was funny.

Our lawyer asked the guy if he ever had any problems with the "last name first, first name last" issue.

I almost fell on the floor laughing....ten years later I still can't look at him without snickering.

Cheers,
Kim

[Beaker]

68. A friend with the last name "Lace" named their daughter "Candace"

...and then got 'surprised' when she started going by "Candy Lace" in high school...

[DebJ]

71. Richard Head. Think about it. Real name on a mortgage

application in Maryland about 10 years ago. We looked him up in the telephone book to verify this name, and there he was: Dick Head.

[Forkboy]

72. We have a selectman named Dick Sweat

swear to God!

My friend works with a Tung Low,which sounds better than it is I'm sure :)

[DS1]

74. Fucktard McShitshispants

[slackmaster]

77. Mercedes Bensinger

Real name of a child born to a couple I knew.

[Beaker]

78. I knew a Porsche Meyers- her sisters were Mercedes and Ferarri...

and her brother was Howard.
no lie.