CONFESS!! How Did Your Parents Embarrass You As A Child?

[matcom]

one afternoon, the Ice Cream Truck came down the street. ALL the kids rushed out to get their fill. I asked Mom for some money and she gave me a $5. i was about 9.

rode my orange spider-bike to the end of the road and made my purchase. rode my spider-bike back home. gave change to Mom. Ice Cream guy short changed me by (i think) $1.

Mom was furious (never mind that there were about 30 kids waiting their turn for sugar high's.

Mom (all 5 ft, 100 lbs of her) jumps on my orange spider-bike and speeds down the street. she butts in line (in front of all my friends) and chews the ice cream guy a new asshole for shorting me $1.

Mom gets the $1 and pedals my orange spider-bike back up the street FUMING!

me standing in the driveway embarrassed as hell. i STILL tease her about it to this day.

YOUR TURN

[jedicord]

1. Bless my Mom's Soul...

She did everything she could to embarrass me, but here's an example:

She'd order a hamburger at a fast food place (Whataburger, etc.) raw. Yep, raw. Then eat it.

[AndyP]

9. no waaaaay!

That is gross. I'm suprised they sold it to her, most places won't sell you raw meat cuz it could be liability. Hats off to your mom though, that's a good one!

[jedicord]

11. Way!

She did strange things all the time just to get a rise out of people. It was her entertainment. She'd get up and start dancing at a restaurant.

I have some of her traits, as does my son. We really don't care much what people think of us, and sometimes it's fun freaking people out.

[Momgonepostal]

2. My mom was a classroom volunteer...

...and when I was in the 6th(?) grade did part of my class's sex ed lecture.

[Career Prole]

3. This is not a sex thread!

Dad was Richard, Sr. and I was Richard, Jr.
At every family gathering we were known as Big Dick and Little Dick.
'Nuff said? :eyes:

[tandot]

4. they called me Pippi (as in Pippi Longstockings)

but to me it sounded always like pee pee

[Gothic Sponge]

5. How didn't my parents embarrass me?

:eyes:

[laruemtt]

6. at an extended family dinner in my early

pubescence, ma made me stand in the closet because i refused to kiss my uncle good night (not on the mouth - it wasn't sexual abuse - we're italians and we emote!)....

[AndyP]

7. lemme think...

I was seen with them in public! That was enough!


Really though, my parents were the "cool" parents out of all my friends' parents so it wasn't that bad. It got a little annoying when they tried to be too cool, ya know.

[fudge stripe cookays]

8. No matter who she talked to....

whenever she called looking for me, she always said,

"This is Marlene Cookay.
Fudge Stripe's mother."

Like no one knew who she was. It could have been a girlfriend, my girl scout leader...whoever. Mom has a very clipped, proper voice, and I imitate her pretty well.

People have laughed about her voice for years, thinking I was joking. then, they meet her and say , "Oh my God! You sound just like your mom!"

[jus_the_facts]

10. After spendin' the day at the Mud Races...gettin' drunk....

....my Dad and his buddy were still sittin' in the back o' his truck...me and my girlfriend were goin' to the movies...her Mom was takin' us...they pull up in our driveway and my Dad is takin' a piss off his tailgate...I'll NEVER forget that literal em'bare ass'ment!!! :wow:

...the Mud Races were where several dudes with big 4wheel drives would race in a big giant mud pit! :D

[Bok_Tukalo]

12. I grew up in rural Arkansa and Oklahoma

So as a very young kid, my mom would always check me and my siblings for ticks after we came in from playing and just before the bath.

I happen to have a ... ahem ... freckle on my penis and my mother used to like to tell the story to my teenage girlfriends about the time she mistaked that freckle for a tick and the subsequent squeeling from my 3 1/2 year old self.

[SiouxJ]

13. Lmao at this thread. Ok, my mother used to love to

tell the story about how I tried to pee like a boy to anyone who would listen (I was about 5 I think and well, I always wanted to be like my big brother) Geez mom! It doesn't bug me so much now (she still does it) but when I was a teenager! Horrors!

[AwakeAtLast]

24. My Mom always told about

the time my sister got mad when she couldn't "go outside like Daddy". Actually, she still tells it to this day.

[testing123]

14. 3rd grade my Mom brought a sweater to my class

It got a little chilly outside so she told the Principal in the hallways that she didn't want her baby getting cold in school or on the way home.

The whole class heard the conversation and when she entered the classroom with him to give me my sweater I died from embarrassment.

Of course I recognized her voice in the hall and I was hoping that she didn't find my classroom but she found it alright because she had an escort.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

15. When I was in seventh grade and singing in the church's junior choir

my mother would come and find me just before the choir marched in, straighten my choir robe, and run a comb through my hair. This was in front of all the other junior high kids, of course.

Her response when I objected? "I can't have you walking down the aisle looking like a tsozz." (That was one of the German dialect words that my mother and grandmother were fond of, although I never figured out exactly what a tsozz was supposed to be.)

[matcom]

16. kick

[achtung_circus]

17. 8 years old

tap dance recital

lipstick (as I was going to be on stage I needed to look like I belonged there)

I wiped it off 4 times and each time she returned and reapplied it.

The shame.

[DebJ]

18. when I was 13 she grabbed my budding breasts and said to a

friend of hers who was standing there, Look, she's getting boobies!

[demgurl]

19. This was a high school thing.

I told my Mom that my advanced writing teacher was a piece of Grade A Beef. It was parent teacher night and she was going off to meet all of my teachers. She met with Mr. Reardon (his real name!) and she said, "So, you're what Grade A Beef looks like." She then went on to divulge that that is what I had called him! Now was there really a need for that?

[GOPisEvil]

20. We lived on a corner lot. Mom liked to leave the back door and windows

open. She also felt the need to yell at me a lot when I was a kid. Yeah, I wasn't the best kid in the world. :P So, anyway, I'm shooting hoops with the guys one day, and one of them says, "Man, your mom was pissed at you last night. I heard her yelling at you when I was walking by."

Not good. I got over it, and now we laugh about it.

[Spirochete]

21. Seemed like any time my mother

took me anywhere when I was little, she would always at some point take out a handkerchief, spit on it, and start washing my face. It was not only embarrassing, but painful. I hated that!

[ElectroPrincess]

23. Forced to travel to Mitchell, South Dakota

Specifically to "The Corn Palace" yes "The CORN Palace"



to see Lawrence Welk and Eddie Arnold in concert. This was either 69' or 70'. Oh the horror of being a preteen and forced to endure this shame! I made my parents promise NOT to mention this excursion "into CornPone hell" to any of my friends.

Hey, if you have heard Eddie Arnold's rendition of "Cattle Call", well, you haven't lived. :P Heeee Haw!!!



http://www.singingcowboy.com/sounds/ccall.wav

"Mitchell's Corn Palace is built out of reinforced concrete, not corn. Every spring, however, its exterior is completely covered with thousands of bushels of native South Dakota corn, grain and grasses that are arranged into large murals."



Hey, do I win the humiliation booby prize? <eg>

[SW FL Dem]

22. My mom loved to show naked baby pictures of me

to all my dates in high school. I have exactly one bare butt pic of my son and I will only share it with his wife after they are married.

[newsguyatl]

25. my mom dressed me up

as a ballerina for halloween... twice!



still in therapy.

[truthbetold]

26. Lunch box story.

My mom always told the story about how, when I was a little kid waiting at the bus stop, a poodle came up to me and peed right on my lunch box. I burst into tears and ran into my house sobbing over it.
That and the fact that I had horrible tantrums up until I was 4, and used to smack my head on things in anger. Last time I did it was on the cement driveway.

[SarahB]

27. My horrifying embarrassing mom story.

I was in 8th grade and I felt sick in school and I went to the nurse's office who called my mom to pick me up. She picked me up, BUT with a towel wrapped around her wet hair like a turban, a long African caftan, and cowboy boots. Then, walking down the hall were the 2 best looking boys and there I was, looking green anyway, with Freakazoid there next to me. If my mom were a nice person, I'd feel bad calling her Freakazoid, but since she's mean and negative all the time, I don't.

[Solly Mack]

28. starched petticoats, ruffled undies, stockings in all colors

That's how my mother dressed me.

One day my teacher carried me from room to room to show off a particularly intricate petticoat and pair of very starched ruffled undies my mother so happily dressed me in....it was picture day.

My dress was so full, the teacher couldn't contain herself from lifting it up...and then I was hauled from room to room. Not that she could have missed the undies...the act of sitting exposed them ever so briefly.

"Oooh!Look at those!" "How precious!"

I always wore dresses with light petticoats to school just never before one that poofed out as much. Teachers almost always commented on my dresses and how nice it was to see girls still wearing "that style"


I blamed my mother for that bit of embarassment...she was dressing me afterall. She smiled when I told her about my experience and thought it "too cute!"


I was finally allowed to drop the petticoats...but not the ruffled undies or the stockings. That came later.

I think I got to wear pants to school in the 4th grade.

Ask me how many dresses I own now :)

[Forkboy]

29. Actually,I can say that my parents never embarrassed me

They were never around to do so :)

[texas1928]

30. My mother has to tell everyone she meets that I know

About the time I burned my bare ass as a little kid, I backed into the space heater in the bathroom. I still have the scars from that one. She even told all the nurses, when I got hurt and they saw them. And my wife heard it the first time I brought her home to meet them. I had this great patch work design on my butt, boy did it hurt.

[TheWizardOfMudd]

31. Unfortunately for them . . .

. . . I was probably the one that did all of the embarrassing.

[Brahma Bull]

32. When HASN'T my parents embarrassed me???

[Fleshdancer]

34. good point. n/t

[Fleshdancer]

33. Matcom, your mom kicks ass! I love that story.

I would do the same thing if some ice cream asshole short changed my little angel! :)

I guess my most embarrassing story (and I deserved what I got) was when I asked my mom to drop me off down the road from a party she was nice enough to drive me to (I was 15 and couldn't drive yet) and she looked at me, turned her attention back to the road, didn't say a damn word and drove allllll the way to the front of the driveway.

My birthday came late in the school year so most of my friends could drive at that point and a few of them laughed at me.

[trackfan]

35. My dad always referred to any male friend of mine as my "boyfriend"

like "gwbsamoron's boyfriend is picking him up and taking him to the ballgame" or "he's at his boyfriend mark's house" - I'm straight, male, so, obviously, the connotation of the word "boyfriend" had changed since my dad's day. (I stand by all commas in my post. I hate the modern style with its dearth of commas. I put them where there is a pause. So screw anyone who thinks there are too many commas in that sentence).

[Skittles]

36. my dad terrorized my boyfriends

"if you don't have her home by midnight I will twist your head off and stuff it up your ass" was purty normal. The guys would bring me home and practically shove me out of the car. HE THREATEND TO KILL ME they would wail despite my protests that he was kidding. :o

[AlFrankenFan]

37. Having two sets of parents...

My father and step-mother embarrass me - and still do - by being openly closed-minded Republicans in public and in private. Hell, it's their right, an annoying one at that, but quite embarrassing.

When I meet a democrat older than myself, my mom introduces herself and starts explaining how...smart I am, and how I suppose I have gifts...flattering, yes, but attention that could be placed elsewhere, thank you mom.

My step-dad, when he used to drive my brother and I to school, would mess his hair up for no reason and put his hat on backwards and act like "a gangsta".

[yellowdawgdem]

38. My Mom likes to harrass waiters

or waitresses when we (used to) eat out. She makes alot of demands on them, and then often sends the food back, while the rest of us sit there cringing. One time we went to an ice cream parlor and she got a chocolate scoop, then wanted to exchange that for another flavor, and got into an argument with the icecream scooper person. They said you can't return it if you've licked it, and my Mom said she hadn't licked it. Finally the guy took it back, and gave her another scoop just to get rid of her. And then after he handed her the ice cream she said, oh, and by the way, I licked it.

[Donkeyboy75]

39. Please don't take offense,

but she doesn't sound too nice. I don't trust people who are mean to waitstaff.

[yellowdawgdem]

40. no offense taken

She's not that nice in certain situations, but she can be a real kick. Of course, my Dad is kind of the opposite, really pleasant and relaxed.

[Donkeyboy75]

44. My mom can be the same way.

A puzzling lack of tact in some instances, which can be embarrassing. But she does go way out of her way to help people...

[matcom]

41. kick for the morning crowd

:kick:

[daligirrl]

42. Mom took tap dancing when she was young. . .

At my first slumber party (I was 11, I think), she came into the living room in her shortie nightgown and tap shoes. She did this whole routine in front of my friends. I was suicidal for days afterwards. Strangely enough, though, I later found out that my friends thought my mom was very cool.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

43. By having sex constantly for the first 18 years of my life.

[matcom]

45. with you?

or were you just a spectator?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

47. Both.

[matcom]

48. and how did that work out for ya?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

49. Feh. I've had better.

[matcom]

50. got any pics?

videos?

DVD???

[geniph]

46. My big trauma

was Mom insisting that I go swimming in my panties anytime we were out somewhere in summer and I was whining because I didn't have a swimsuit - she'd just strip my clothes off me in front of God and everybody, and give me a swat if I tried to hide. "No one cares about your flat little chest! Go swimming!" She never could tolerate kids whining.

Other than that, I was mostly too embarrassed by the horrible squalor in which we lived to ever have a friend come anywhere near our house. It was pretty bad when I started dating; I'd try to meet them somewhere, anywhere, other than the place we lived, which was an illegal apartment conversion in an office above a dairy warehouse. It was pretty hard to explain to a date that he'd have to come into the Vitamilk dairy administrative offices to find where I lived. I called it the Anne Frank apartment - since it wasn't legal that there be people living there, we had to keep a really low profile during the day when the dairy had people coming and going from the offices. We couldn't flush the toilet, and they couldn't see us coming and going, so I had to sneak in through the warehouse when I came home from school.