Blond Jokes

[Renew Deal]

She was Soooooooo Blonde . .

* She thought a quarterback was a refund.

* She thought General Motors was in the army.

* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

* At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius."

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...

* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

* She sent a fax with a stamp on it

* Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."


She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

* She tripped over a cordless phone.

* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate."

* She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."

* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

* She studied for a blood test.

* She sold the car for gas money.

* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.

* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.


She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.

* She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."


She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

* She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

1. What did the blonde say after her date...

..."do you guys all play on the same team?"...

An old one...very, very old...and a timeless classic.

:evilgrin:

[northzax]

2. why did the blonde

wear panties on her date?

to keep her ankles warm.

[achtung_circus]

3. blondes, blondes, blondes, on a different note

A very attractive redhead goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no", the man replies. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him", she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.

"Tell him," she whispers, "There is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."

Good girls go to heaven, Redheads go where ever they damn well please.

What's the difference in being with a blonde and a redhead?

A blonde does whatever you tell her her to do.
A redhead tells you what to do.

How many men does it take to please a redhead?
How many you got?

If you love a redhead, she'll love you forever.
If you turn your back on her, it'll be the last thing you ever do.

Redheads are the sweetest most innocent girls.........when they are asleep.

What is the difference between sex with a blonde and sex with a redhead?
Blondes come with instructions.
Redheads come with spring loaded legs.


How do you know when you've had sex with a redhead?
If you are dehydrated, can't walk, and have blood running down your back, you've been with a redhead.