Wedding gift advice needed... little help?

[thom1102]

My partner and I just got a wedding invitation for someone we hardly know. I met the woman twice, and my partner works in the same company with her (although they don't work in the same department, never see each other, and never interact with each other). She's a bit of a nutjob, and I can really think of about a billion other things I'd rather be doing that day, so I told my partner to RSVP no. He replied, "well what should we get her for a wedding gift?"... What? I have no intention of getting some whackjob who is desperate for friends who put Jeff and I on the B list of friends to invite to her wedding a gift, especially since we aren't going to the damn wedding!

Is it proper protocol to send a gift if you can't come to the wedding (and really don't know the person)?

[Pert_UK]

1. Don't send one.....

If you went to the wedding you should take / send a gift, but you should only send a gift when you're not attending if you know the couple REALLY well or have the genuine desire to send them a gift.

A good wishes card ought to do the trick.

If this person invited you to their birthday party and you didn't go, you wouldn't send them a present would you?

[Alenne]

2. Proper protocol?

When you are talking about my money proper protocol is whatever decision I make. I wouldn't get her a gift. A card will do fine.

[SOteric]

3. It's proper protocol

to acknowledge the invitation and to rsvp. Customary whether one attends or not are your good wishes. A card or a very inexpensive gift (under $10) would not send Miss Manners into fits of apoplexy.

[supernova]

4. Yes, RSVP "No"

and get them a nice congratulations card or other inexpensive item. Maybe a gift card at a book store.

You're not obligated to go to weddings.

[Rowdyboy]

5. Please read responses 1-4...

Unless she's a good friend of your partner, I think a card would be very nice...Don't let yourself be bullied by this. Wedding gifts are for those we love (or are obligated to).

[DemOverseas]

6. Protocol here

says a House Plant is the gift to send.......

[sandnsea]

7. Yes, from KMart

on sale. You can get a small house plant for the price of a card. A card says, 'I had to acknowledge you but I don't like you enough to buy you a gift.' Definitely a house plant.

[thom1102]

8. kick

[radwriter0555]

9. EMILY POST SAYS it's FINE to send a nice card, and refuse the

invite as well.

There is no need to send a gift, if you don't want to. But the card is just fine,