The Grotto - Hump Day edition

[VelmaD]

That's right it's all downhill from here.


Since the week's half over...half price if you come half-dressed.


So, come on in the water's fine.

Cabana boy...bring me a Long Island Iced Tea and make it snappy.

Darth Velma

[Mandate My Ass]

1. the water looks good

but cabana boys seem to be in short supply. what's a thirsty girl to do? you just can't get good help anymore. :shrug:

[VelmaD]

2. I think short bus's absense

has had a detrimental effect on the waitstaff. I beat them and beat them and it just doesn't seem to help. ;-)

Snap your fingers and a cabana boy should appear.

*snap snap* Raul! Bring this woman a drink boy!

DV

[Mandate My Ass]

3. short bus provided pool service this afternoon

he was -- and is -- fetching.... drrinks and other things.


MMMMmmmmmmm sweet young man flesh...chomp, chomp....yummmy in my tummy.

[VelmaD]

5. I hope you're being good...

to my boy. I'd hate to have to come hurt you. ;-)

And if you're being "bad" to him...I want pictures.

[short bus president]

7. Mm-hm

Mmmmmpppphhh, Hrrrrrnnnnnnnn. Aaaaaaggggghh. Mmmmmmppppphhhh.

:thumbsup:

[VelmaD]

12. SHORT BUS!!!!

*smooch smooch smooch*

Miss you miss you miss you.

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Somebody pulled me into a dark corner of the Grotto. (Ask me about it when you get back ok.)

Are you being a good boy?

DV

[short bus president]

15. Uh-huh - "somebody pulled you away..."

I believe you. <sniffle> <pout>

As far as the good boy thing, I'm doing the best I can. The temptations here are many. And the alcohol is flowing fast and furious. So my stories when I get back may have a lot of holes in 'em. But I'm doing my damnedest to plug as many holes as I can. ;-)

[VelmaD]

16. I'm glad...

you're having fun honey.

Be a good boy for your hostess and use protection. ;-)

DV

[thom1102]

26. Ladies and interested gentleman...

and I use those terms loosely, here is the newest Cabana Boy!http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=137369&mesg_id=137369

[VelmaD]

29. He's awfully pretty...

but that's how we like our cabana boys.

I'm thinking I'm gonna have lots of fun conducting his "job interview". *nudge nudge wink wink*

[thom1102]

37. pass along the video tape of the "interview"?

please? pretty please? with sugar on top?

[VelmaD]

40. well...

since you beg so prettily...;-)

I'm a sucker for boys who bat their lashes at me. *shakes head ruefully*

[Aristus]

42. Or, just a sucker,anyway

:evilgrin:

[VelmaD]

44. OK...who told?

I bet it was short bus. That boy has a big mouth. :-)

[Aristus]

46. Well, you should know, shouldn't you?

No, spare me the details. sbp not here. Good! More for me!

[leftist_rebel1569]

4. I'm here...

and taking off my shirt would make me half-dressed, no?

[VelmaD]

6. Yup...

and still perfectly legal from a "corrupting minors" standpoint.

DV

[leftist_rebel1569]

8. yay...

wait, does that mean there are any ways you can corrupt me...legally? :)

...or am I dreaming? :(

[VelmaD]

13. Well, I guess...

we could give you near-beer and dress you up in a genie outift. That's legal.

Or we could find you a cute little hoochie mama. As long as there isn't more than a couple years age difference that's usually legal.

And I'm pretty sure we could hog tie you and threaten to molest you...that's legal as long as we don't actually grope you.

Anything else I think we need that permission slip from your mother.

[supernova]

9. I wanta a double shot

of Herradura and Johnny Depp!

[Mandate My Ass]

10. Johnny Depp and short bus president

Now *that's* a double shot that's sure to please!!!

[supernova]

11. ROFL! I'll Take all the help I can get!

Herradura is just the catalyst. It is the essential humanity that I am after.

[VelmaD]

14. I'm being a bad hostess.

Sorry, got distracted by one of the boys.

*snap snap* Ramone...bring this lady her drink and see about kidnapping Mr. Depp for use as a Grotto ornament.

[VelmaD]

17. Well gee...

we're a chatty bunch tonight.

I hope everyone is quiet because their hands/mouths are otherwise occupied. ;-)

DV

[leftist_rebel1569]

18. I'm going to bed..

have fun! :hi:

[Aristus]

19. Ah, the morning after. What a mess this place is! Looks like they had

fun, though, eh Watson?

Wish I coulda been there. Oh well, sinfully rich, delicious doughnuts and strong Irish coffee for anyone left!

:donut:

[VelmaD]

20. Mmm...

forbidden donut...*drool*

We missed ya around here last night. My butt didn't get paddled AT ALL. *sigh*

DV

[Aristus]

21. It didn't?

Awww, let me see it, and I'll see what I can do.

Have another doughnut. :donut: As long as you're indulging, may as well go all the way.

[VelmaD]

22. New rule...

calories consumed while you're getting you butt paddled don't count. :-)

A chocolate donut with sprinkles works just fine for me as a gag.

[Aristus]

23. Are you bare? Are you bent over?

Eat your doughnut and just relax.

:spank:

[VelmaD]

24. Of course

Aren't I pretty much always bare and bent over? :evilgrin:

So, how does one say "relax and eat your donut" in German. ;-)

[Aristus]

25. You know, I have no idea. Shh, it's not polite to talk

when you're being punished!

:spank: :spank: :spank:

You like?

[VelmaD]

27. nodnodnod

Gotcha. No talking.

What does Miss Manners have to say about screaming while being punished? ;-)

[Aristus]

28. Depends on what you scream.

There. I'll just rub it to ease the stinging. Now, what do I get?

[VelmaD]

30. Well, my usual standbys...

are "Ride 'em Cowboy" and "Don't stop or I'll fuckin' kill you!" Take your pick.

And what you get is a free lifetime membership to the Grotto - no more cover charge for you. You're on the manager's A-list. ;-)

[Aristus]

31. Well, since it's just you and me here right now,

I'll take all three!

[VelmaD]

33. There was no paddling...

in that last post. "Don't stop of I'll fuckin' kill you". *pout*

And I'll grab you a Get-into-the-Grotto-free card as soon as someone unties my hands. :evilgrin:

[Aristus]

35. Oh, I'm sorry. I was distracted by the arrival of supernova.

Do you see what she's wearing? Or not wearing,as the case may be.

Put your head down.

:spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

[VelmaD]

38. Yup...

she's really hanging outta that bathrobe. I won't tell her if you won't. ;-) *snort* boobies *snort*

*drops head, closes eyes, and humms happily*

[Aristus]

41. Okay, whew! Your butt is turning a cute shade of red, so I'll stop

for a minute. I'll take my payment whenever you're ready.

[VelmaD]

43. mmm...

*hops in your lap for a quick cyber-snog*

Owie owie owie...shoulda thought about my butt before I sat ANYWHERE. ;-)

[Aristus]

45. Well, I'll just rub it a little more.

Too much punishment? We'll just have to find another fetish for you to indulge.

[VelmaD]

47. No such thing...

as too much paddling. It's a good kinda owie. ;-)

But I'm always willing to indluge new fetishes. Just nothing involving barnyard animals.

[Aristus]

48. Ew! Don't worry. Just human flesh for me. Female variety, of course.

So, give me some ideas.

[VelmaD]

49. Leather...

vinyl...needles...liquid latex...mmm, liquid latex *thud* - hope you don't have too much body hair for that one.

Or we can always play dress-up instead. You can be the randy pirate captain and I can be your cute little "cabin boy". ;-)

[Aristus]

50. I'm very lightly hairy. That should help.

I don't have 'cabin boy' fantasies, though, and I prefer 'dressing down' to dressing up for these occasions. See, I'm only wearing a pair of shorts. Less is always better.

[VelmaD]

51. I've yet to meet a man...

who didn't sit in front of the puter half nekkid. Hee.

Ok, liquid latex it is. Come on over here, hope outta your skivies, and let's get started. It's just like finger paints from back in kindergarden only better. ;-)

[Aristus]

52. Okay!

*tosses shorts across the Grotto*

Lay it on me!

[VelmaD]

53. You just make sure...

you saw where those shorts landed. They're cabana boys, not maids.

The first thing we have to do is break out the baby oil...makes it easier to rip the stuff off later.

And do you want a little glitter mixed in. It's awfully pretty but maybe not very "manly".

[Aristus]

54. I'm open-minded. Give it a try. Ahh, baby oil!

Oscar Wilde was right: Too much of a good thing is wonderful!

I know what the oil is for, but what about the latex? Sounds kinds kinky.

[VelmaD]

55. Well, the latex...

is good for a couple of things. One, you can paint it on your clothes or straight onto your skin for something skin tight and shiny to wear.

But, it's much more fun to let someone paint it onto your skin and then rip it off. First you get to have someone slathering it all over you which is fun in itself. Really nice little owie from ripping it off when you're done. And if you're both getting painted at the same time you can get entertainingly stuck together and pulling apart can be yummy.

[Aristus]

56. Mmm! Me like!

This is a hell of a way to boost my post count toward 3000.

Where do you want your latex?

[VelmaD]

57. yup...

I think it would be amusingly ironic for me to join the 700 Club with a post relted to kinky sex. Hee.

And where wouldn't I like my liquid latex. ;-)

Well, ok, I wouldn't like it on my head. I'm kinda attached to my hair. Everywhere else is fair game though.

And I will take purple and gold with glitter thank you sir.

[Aristus]

58. Okay, purple and gold it is. And no latex on your head.

I wasn't going to go up that far, anyway. Hope I can stick around for your 700th post.

You know, I'm kinda glad I couldn't make it last night. A little 'morning after' in the cool, dewy dawn is very nice!

[VelmaD]

59. It's cool...

I'm probably gonna have to actually do some work this morning at some point. God, my job really cuts into my porn-reading and boy-teasing time. *sigh*

Will probably save that 700th post for tonight's Grotto. Just think of the fun we can have. And people thought my 500th post party was an extravaganza of booze and debauchery. They ain't seen nothin' yet. ;-)

You're right though. A little "morning after" is a much nicer way to start the day than waking up to that nasty old alarm clock. ;-)

[Aristus]

60. Probably can't make it tonight, either.

You'll just have to celebrate your entry into the 700 Club without me. :(

Damn work anyway! This is the most fun I've had with a Texas girl for better than ten years. No, no. Don't get up just yet. Sit back down.

[VelmaD]

61. I figure I'll..

be in the 700 Club for a day or 2 so there will be plenty of opportunities to try to beat the prissy piety back outta me.

"Must...cast out...Pat Robertson..." :spank: :spank: :spank:

And I might just be able to sit back down at this point without wincing. ;-)

[Aristus]

62. Or you could stand up silhouetted against the waterfall, so I can

get a good look at you. Mmm! Au naturel, the way I like it.

[VelmaD]

63. yeah, but...

you gotta get under there too with a nice rough loofa and help scrub the last of that liquid latex off me.

I'll do your back if you do mine. ;-)

[Aristus]

64. Okay! This is better than a shower. Is the loofa abrasive enough for you?

I'll just scrub and rub until you're all clean! Is that your nipples getting hard?

[VelmaD]

65. the water's cold...

so what do you expect? :P

If they're still like that after we plop back down in the hot tub then you can be all impressed with yourself. ;-)

[Aristus]

66. I already am, but thanks ;-)

The water's refreshing, isn't it? This Grotto was a wonderful idea. Hey! You're nearly to 700! What do you want to do until then?

[VelmaD]

67. What I want to do...

is go back home and throw on something comfy and watch The Two Towers again and play around online and maybe even take a nap.

OK, really, that's all second choice. What I really really wanta do is go home and snuggle up to a certain someone who's a half a continent away. *sigh*

Unfortunately, what I'm going to do is sit at my desk and reference workpapers for a couple of audits that are due on Tuesday. Blah.

Well, that and try to keep you from tempting me to go ahead and get to 700 posts so you can start the torment. ;-)

[Aristus]

69. Okay, I'll leave you alone, then. No tormenting, I promise.

Interesting. I'm watching "Fellowship" right now.

Don't let work get you down. How can you do this at work? I'd be afraid someone could see the look on my face.

[VelmaD]

70. No tormenting!

I hope that wasn't a promise. ;-)

And it is kinda difficult sometimes not to bust out laughing at work while I'm on DU. I've just gotten good at hiding it and at multi-tasking. Hell, I'm working, on DU, chatting with a friend on IM, and writing a smutlet at the moment. Yup - your tax dollars at work. I am such a bad State employee. :-)

[Aristus]

72. Well, just remember the State and Federal employees motto:

'They pretend to pay us, and we pretend to work.' :-)

[VelmaD]

75. Yuppers...

right up there with "They don't pay me to think" and "You want it when?".

Only marginally better than "Would you like fries with that?"

[Aristus]

76. Well, it's been lovely, Velma.

*retrieves shorts* See? I'm not a slob!

Have fun, and don't do anything unkind to LR. He's a kid, yet.

[VelmaD]

77. Wow...a man who

cleans up after himself.

Marry me? ;-)

Later. *smooches*

[Aristus]

79. One more, Velma! Just one more. You can do it.

Don't stop! Don't stop! Oh GOD! Don't stop!

[VelmaD]

81. Sorry baby...

the 15 year old beat you to it and I gave it up to him. ;-) I feel so...dirty.

[Aristus]

82. S'okay, I think he needed the thrill more than I did.

You're dirty again? Oh boy! Here we go again!

<...now, where's that loofa?...>

Ot are you too pure now, you 700 Clubber you?

[VelmaD]

83. Somehow...

I don't think I'm gonna be able to pull off the sweet and innocent, pure as the driven snow, Pat Robertson wanna be act for 100 whole posts.

[Kellanved]

86. Literally: "Entspann Dich und iß Deinen Pfannkuchen"

in Berlin.
Or "Entspann Dich und iß Deinen Berliner" in Hamburg
Or "Entspann Dich und iß Deinen Kreppl" in Hesse
Or "Entspann Dich und iß Deinen Krapfen" about everywhere else.

Of course this means a jelly donut - a "real" Donut is either a "Donut" or a "Kameruner".

[supernova]

32. Mornin' all...

:hangover: :hangover: :hangover:

[Aristus]

34. Oh my! Someone's joined us, Velma!

Are you too hung over for some fun, supernova?

[supernova]

36. Getting better

Several cups of coffee and 1/2 litre of seltzer water later, I'm feeling more human.

[Aristus]

39. Well, here is some coffee and a doughnut to pick you up.

Me 'n' Velma are having a go 'round. Wanna play?

:donut:

[leftist_rebel1569]

68. Good Morning...

wow, surprised the grotto's still open...

[VelmaD]

71. Morning Little Bit

Yup, we're here. Last night was a bust but we've been up to a little morning debauchery. Although I suppose it's getting awfully close to qualifying as a nooner at this point. Hee.

Welcome to the party. Feel free to join in the attempt to tempt me to go ahead and post number 700 while short bus isn't around to give me hell about it. ;-)

DV

[leftist_rebel1569]

73. okay, sounds like fun...

(takes off shirt)

If that doesn't tempt you to post your 700th post, I dunno what will...:P

[VelmaD]

74. Nice to see...

your ego is still intact after being chained to the wall the other night. :-)

We'll have to work on that later. Bwahahahahaha

[leftist_rebel1569]

78. well, as far as that's concerned...

it takes a lot of crap to break my ego...I hope you've got a few more tricks up your sleeve :P

That, and you'll prolly need Short Bus's help...:)

But for now, it's time for your 700th post, no?

[VelmaD]

80. Yes...yes it is...

and congratulations lucky boy. You'll always be able to say "I was the happy recipient of Darth Velma's 700th post." You can brag to your friends. :-)

Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. ;-)

Unfortunately I think this means I have to start channeling Pat Robertson now and I'm not sure what he would think about the Grotto. Besides it being the "tool of the devil". And I just know he's have issues with me corrupting the young. ;-)

So much for my plan to save it for the opening post in the Grotto tonight. And I gave it up to a 15 year old. *shakes head at self*

[leftist_rebel1569]

84. yeah!

go me! I got it from someone twice my age! Damn, i'm good :D...

[VelmaD]

85. *pout*

Yeah, but you're not getting again it until you go post on my congrats thread. It's dying a sad pitiful death sinking slowly off page one. I'm so hurt. ;-)

[TrogL]

87. Ok, so what are the house rules?

How come nobody told me about this place before?

[VelmaD]

88. The rules are...

there are no rules. Except no molesting the under 18s (yes that mean you Leftist Rebel).

Other than that it's all good.

Unforunately this is Wednesday's Grotto thread. There will be another started later on tonight when it's likely the usual gang will be around. Look for it around 10 eastern time.

Darth Velma