Being a Trip (Discordian poetry)

[Wonk]

Being a Trip in eight (2³!) schizms

1. The Search
Is Eris real? asked Grandfather Mal
who'd suddenly lapsed in his faith
For I must admit that this very question
has greatly confused me of late
So Mal travelled far, yea he travelled wide
and five diff'rent sources he bade

2. The Goddess
Eris herself will certainly know!
spoke Mal at the start of his quest
Alas, I'm not real, said Eris when asked
but you'd best put my words to the test
I may not exist, but you know that I am
a mischievous liar at best!

3. The Sceptic
A definite fake, the sceptic just stated
No shred of evidence to be had!
If you cannot prove it, t'is simply not true
but a fable or nonsense instead
(And since he could not prove that he was real
the sceptic disappeared where he sat)

4. The Scientist
Is she not labeled? the scientist queried
She sounds like a plotdevice to me
Or perhaps a parable, but I cannot be sure
Things need to be labeled, you see!
Real things have names, and tags and measures
I propose: Eris (Divina Discordii)

5. The Philosopher
Is a unicorn real? The Philosopher riddled
and the thought of such a beast?
What is wisdom to me may be rubbish to you
but I'll tell you this at least:
The true test of being - Is it still real
after all thought upon it has ceased?

6. The Pragmatist
She's not as real as my food, the pragmatist said
not as real as a brook or a stream
But has a simple idea ever changed your life?
or a feeling, a thought or a dream?
These things have the power to influence us
however unreal they may seem

7. The Truth
There is a wasp on your ear! I see in your eyes
the sudden panic that you must now feel
But now, if I tell you that I simply lied
is the fear you felt any less real?
Then what does it matter? the pragmatic shrugged
and he silently finished his meal

8. The End
Ah Eris! Not real, but real enough
as a great many things are today
A plotdevice, riddle, a joke and much more
a dream and a goddess they say
Oh, man lives in dreams, in fiction and fancy
in dreaming may we ever stay!

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