Thursday Night Paddle-palooza in the Grotto

[VelmaD]

That's right. Your illustrious hostess joined the 700 Club today.



And it's up to y'all to beat the prudish prissy piety back outta me before it has a chance to get permanently wedged in my psyche.



So, no cover if you bring a paddle. ;-)

Hop in the hot tub and our lovely and talented waitstaff will be along to take your drink order shortly.

*snap snap* Manuel...bring me a bottle of tequila and a lime darling boy...

Darth Velma

[leftist_rebel1569]

1. hmm...paddles...

I have this paddle here, used mostly in ping pong... my tennis racket... a paddle used to beat people with, and an assortment of other blunt objects...which do you want? :P

[VelmaD]

4. mmm...blunt objects...

*shakes self*

You're still 15, right? Just checking. 'Cause it still ain't legal Little Bit.

However, I'll waive the cover for you anyway. And if you let us borrow your collection (just in case anybody forgets to bring their own implements of destruction) I'll comp you the rest of the week and I'll be much more inclined to let you spend another night at Adult Swim instead of relegated to the Ball Pit.

Deal? ;-)

DV

[leftist_rebel1569]

16. deal...

now, where to put everything? I have to go out to my car and get all this, my trunk is quite full of this stuff :)

Now, is there anything else I can do for you?

[VelmaD]

18. yipee!

We have supplies. *age appropriate smooches*

Thank you thank you thank you.

And you can lug it all in here shirtless if ya want. ;-)

[leftist_rebel1569]

19. Hey,

whatever gets me in the pool...

(takes off shirt and gets boxes of assorted paddles)

[VelmaD]

25. You are such a doll-baby

And so helpful while short bus has been absent. :-)

We'll let you into Adult Swim tonight if you promise to be a good boy and lie lie lie to your mom when she asks what you were up to tonight. ;-)

DV

[leftist_rebel1569]

26. yeah, I promise..

did you even have to ask? :P

[VelmaD]

28. Lesson number 2

I suppose chaining you to the wall qualifies as Lesson 1.

So, Lesson 2 - always make sure everyone knows the ground rules. Always ask. Especially with people you don't know really well.

God, I feel like a perverted sex ed teacher. *snort*

[leftist_rebel1569]

32. wait...

people you don't know very well?

(overly and unnecessarily dramatic)...but...you're my best friend in the whole world...sniff...sure, we may have only known each other for a week or so, but it's been so much fun! (crying)

lol j/k...okay, i'm done with that :). But, I understand, I guess...

[VelmaD]

35. sheesh...

Teenagers are SO moody. :*

Tell ya what. I'll make it up to you. Instead of making Ramon stick with you tonight I'll let one of the serving girls keep an eye on you.

All better?

[leftist_rebel1569]

37. yay for random mood swings!

:P

Yeah, that makes me feel all better...:D

[VelmaD]

38. Why do I think...

I just made a HUGE mistake in rewarding bad behavior. ;-)

Oh well, I promised you a serving girl. Just don't make me regret it ok. It's really hard to find good help these days. *sigh*

[leftist_rebel1569]

39. lol...

(sigh) ahh...don't you just love having me around, despite i'm the world's biggest pain in the ass? :P

if only Short Bus could see this...

[VelmaD]

41. Oh hell...

he's probably be laughing his ass off at me being so nice to you. :-)

And he'd probably be egging you on in your efforts to grope the cabana girls. He REALLY likes interviewing for new staff. *heaves huge sigh*

[leftist_rebel1569]

46. yeah, that's prolly true

I bet he's gonna do that first night he's back...and he won't let me help. I wonder why...

[VelmaD]

48. oh no...

I have plans for him when he gets back. And it's gonna be really difficult for him to interview anybody with that bit in his mouth. :evilgrin:

[leftist_rebel1569]

52. so...uh...

(cough) Well then, I guess by default i take over the job interviews by default...:D

[VelmaD]

55. Nice try but...

I don't think so baby. There are things included in the "practical, hands-on" part of the interview that you aren't allowed to do yet in most states. ;-)

[leftist_rebel1569]

62. aww...

damn...foiled again...

[VelmaD]

64. Slapping you down...

is so much fun. And every girl needs a hobby. :-)

[leftist_rebel1569]

66. well, considering how much it happens,

I bet you've been quite satisfied in the last week or so...:)

[VelmaD]

69. well, I gotta get satisfaction...

from you somehow since you're just 15 baby. :P

[leftist_rebel1569]

75. wha...

isn't it satisfaction enough for you to take off my shirt? God, you need lots of pleasing, don't you? :P

[VelmaD]

80. Lesson Number 3

Haven't you ever heard? Unlike boys, who peak at about 17, women don't hit their maximum sex drive til much later in life. ;-) Mid-30s and 40s. No lie. *cross my heart*

[leftist_rebel1569]

90. okay,

so we're two almost equally sex-driven people, so...you'd think my chances would INCREASE, but no...:P

lol j/k...

[VelmaD]

95. I know...

it's a world gone mad. *snort*

And you'd have to bring a friend (or two). Women in their 30s often require more than one 17 year old boy to keep up. ;-)

[leftist_rebel1569]

100. oh, well,

you see, i'm youthful and full of energy, therefore I think i could keep up by myself...;)

[VelmaD]

101. ah...how refreshing...

the optimism of the young.

Be such a shame to have to beat it out of you. ;-)

[leftist_rebel1569]

103. ahhh....

I look forward to my next slapping down...it should be fun to have you TRY and beat MY invincible ego down...:D

(wow, never ever thought I would say that in my entire life...:))

[VelmaD]

105. I'm so glad...

that DU is good for your ego.

You're young and resillient so I figure you'll bounce.

I'm old and hard-headed so I figure I'll keep smacking you down.

Should make for hours of entertainment for the masses. :-)

[leftist_rebel1569]

107. wow...the fact I can say that,

and mean it, feels INCREDIBLY liberating after all the shit i've gone through this summer...

Feels REALLY REALLY good! :D

Anyways, back to important stuff...yeah, i'll just keep bouncing back. It cannot be defeated, so you're gonna have a lot of fun if you only enjoy the smacking down part (and of course...my shirt being missing helps :evilgrin:)

My ego is like a ball...in some way that I don't know. Bad analogy lol...

[VelmaD]

108. I'm glad to hear...

you're doing better than you were. I hope DU helped in some way (I know it's been a wonderful place for my ego some days).

You're a great kid. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different.

Yup. The ball thing is a bad analogy. Your ego is soft and dangly and exposed? Eep. Don't think that was the image you were aiming for AT ALL. ;-)

[leftist_rebel1569]

110. LOL! No, not at all!

you sick, sick person! lol :P

anyways, if you're curious to know what I'm talking about, check your inbox later...

and, my ego isn't soft and dangly and exposed...it's hard and strong! :D (lol j/k)

[GOPisEvil]

2. Can you send along a fairly wholesome-looking, yet naughty waitress?

I don't give a crap what drinks she is serving, just as long as stays for a while.

[VelmaD]

6. All you gotta do...

is snap your fingers baby.

Watch.

*snap snap* One of you girls bring this man a drink and sit on his lap.

See, it's just that easy.

Nice to see you back in the Grotto dude.

DV

[GOPisEvil]

8. Ahhh, darkened corner, refreshing drink, beautiful woman...

...does it get any better?

Well, I guess it COULD, but this is quite nice.

[VelmaD]

10. Remember...

our cabana girls only LOOK wholesome. Tip big and lord only knows what she might be willing to do to you. ;-)

DV

[GOPisEvil]

11. Wholesome looks with a mile-wide naughty streak...

...pretty much describes the perfect woman! :D

I'm a HUGE tipper, especially if I get good, um, service.

[VelmaD]

14. Just what you'd expect...

considering I helped pick 'em. ;-)

I'm not even gonna go there about "big tips" *snort*

[Lady Freedom]

13. How about my head on your shoulder...

looking for comfort?

[GOPisEvil]

15. Are you wholesome-looking?

I already know you're naughty! :evilgrin:

[Lady Freedom]

21. Contry girl,...

Preachers daughter type.

[GOPisEvil]

22. Ooooooohhh...preacher's daughters...

I dated a preacher's kid once. :freak:

[Lady Freedom]

30. Then you know...

How naughty we can be? :evilgrin:

[GOPisEvil]

33. Yep!

Sigh...sadly, I have to be off to bed. 6:15am comes early, and I still have things to do.

At least I'll have a nice image to sleep on. :-)

Have a good day tomorrow, and don't let the freeps get to ya.

[Lady Freedom]

34. Oh fudge!!

Just when I found some fun! Oh well, night night,GOPisEvil!

[VelmaD]

36. Jesus h christ...

you mean there really is a 6:15 in the *gulp* morning. *blink*

Sweet dreams buddy. Thanks for dropping in.

[ForrestGump]

3. I'm ready

[VelmaD]

7. Woohoo!

Now serving number 1.

Bring it on baby. ;-)

DV

[ForrestGump]

12. Um, first, let me just clarify:

a 'palooza' isn't a rude word for some part of the human anatomy, is it?

I know it's a naive question, but I'm just so wide-eyed and innocent - I thought I should make sure. :D

[VelmaD]

17. *snort*

Wide-eyed and innocent *cough cough bullshit cough cough*

Whatever.

And for your personal edification, no, palooza isn't secret Grotto code for any naughty bits. :eyes:

[thom1102]

5. byop...

or are there paddles available for rent?

[VelmaD]

9. We're currently in negotiations

with a paddle supplier. There should be paddles available FOR FREE momentarily.

DV

[mkregel]

20. Ahhhh...my first visit to the grotto

got a newly mint bottle of Absynthe Kurtz and a spoonful of sugar...who wants to indulge?

[VelmaD]

23. Welcome aboard

Come on in the water's fine. The Grotto isn't usually BYOB but for Absynthe we'll make an exception.

If there's anything you'd like just snap your fingers and a cabana person of your preferred gender (or hell for Absynthe maybe your lovely hostess ;-)) will be at your service.

Darth Velma

[mkregel]

24. got a lighter?

gotta serve ya a shot of absynthe jus right y'know?

[VelmaD]

27. Gotta be one around here somewhere.

Know we had one in the dungeon next door a couple of nights ago lighting candles to torment short bus with. Hmm...

*snap snap* Raul...fetch this gentleman a lighter sweetie.

[mkregel]

29. nothing better than absynthe after a trip to the gym

cheers! <serves VelmaD a glass>

so may I ask why the handle 'Velma'?

[VelmaD]

31. Hey, I'm just back from the gym too.

Fresh outta the shower.

Mmm...thanks for sharing btw. Way to get on the hostess' good side. :toast: :9

Why Velma? Long story but I'll try to condense. My best friend and I started this fangirl website and used Daphne and Velma as the design hook to hold it all together. (Daphne and Velma's World of Pretty Boys) I'm the more Velma-ish of the 2 of us. It just kinda stuck.

Anyway, it has a big Star Wars section and she's a fabulous graphic designer so she made these cute pics of Queen Daphnedala and Darth Velma. Hence Darth Velma.

I know. You kinda had to be there. :-)

[Lady Freedom]

44. How sweet, fresh meat!!!!!

Mmmm, Hello! :evilgrin:

[Lady Freedom]

40. Wanted:

a man to "play with"! ;)

[VelmaD]

42. a man?

Now why do you limit your options like that? ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

43. Because...

I'm evil! :evilgrin:

Oh how board I am!!!!

[VelmaD]

45. And here I thought...

it's 'cause you're repressed. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

47. Me??????

That word is not in my vocab.!

[VelmaD]

49. Well, one would wonder...

after the way you ran from the whip the other night. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

53. hehe!

I like to be chased! And caught! ;)

[VelmaD]

57. I'll buy the "chased" part...

but if you really wanted to be caught you would have been.

If you really wanted to "be caught" you woulda "tripped" or something and let me drag your ass back over that chair by your hair. Oh well. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

59. Not much of a fighter are you?

If you wanted to catch me you would have tried harder!!!! hehe!

[VelmaD]

61. Guess I'm used to willing victims

who are up front about wanting the pain.

Most of the boys are willing to line up and beg to let me beat them. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

63. Well, for 1: I'm a girl, and...

2: I like a fighter that will fight for what they want! And fight to be in the dominate position, or at lest try! ;)

[VelmaD]

65. how very...

bodice-ripper. :-)

I prefer subs who do what they're told. Who admit freely the like it. No chains. No ropes. No restraints. Straight up willing desire for the whip baby.

BTW, you weren't fighting. You were running. There's a difference. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

67. Yes there is!

And you were not chaseing! If you wanted it you should have tackled me and got it! :evilgrin:

[VelmaD]

71. this would be one of those...

basic personality differences. I don't chase people. If you want it don't run away from it. Willing consent.

Oh well, good luck finding someone around here who'll cater to your whims.

[Lady Freedom]

Thats esay!

The only problem is SBP isn't here! hehe!

[VelmaD]

73. yeah well,

when he gets back I double dog dare you to ask who he likes better. :P

You will notice who he entrusted his Grotto to.

[Lady Freedom]

76. Why should I?

I'm sure there enough of him to go around!

[VelmaD]

77. Hee...

He certainly likes to think so anyway. *snort*

[Lady Freedom]

81. Give him a chance he would try to prove it.

And die trying! Hehe!

[VelmaD]

83. Tell me about it.

Keeping that boy outta my pants (and in his own) is a full-time occupation.

Oh well, at least he'd die happy.

[ForrestGump]

50. Yeah it is

If I were to press you right.....here.....

you're saying that you wouldn't want to be re-pressed? :D

[Lady Freedom]

51. thats a diffrent story... I mean word!

Keep going! :evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

54. Wonder what'd happen if I pushed the BIG button here....

[Lady Freedom]

56. Just make sure Little Bit isn't watching!!!!

And you may have to fight me off! That is if you don't like a girl taking you down.

[VelmaD]

58. you can take her Gump...

she's all talk

[Lady Freedom]

60. "Take" being what it's all about!

He better be able too! hehe!

[TrogL]

68. so when does the real action start?

paddling ain't my thing

[Lady Freedom]

70. How about...

setting back and letting a gal slip her hand down slowly.

[VelmaD]

72. Before Lady Freedom has a chance...

to grope you, how about a drink. *Snap* your fingers and a server will bring you your pleasure.

And look out for LF, she's a tease. ;-)

[Lady Freedom]

74. I go...

all the way for those who play! hehe!

[TrogL]

78. Ale please

something dark and tasty and stop tickling!

[Lady Freedom]

79. How about a slow rub,...

right here!

[VelmaD]

82. Cabana Girl! An Ale Over Here!

And I apologize for Lady Freedom. She gets a little "hands on" when she's had one too many. ;-)

I can get Guido the bouncer to take care of her if she's too much of a bother.

[Lady Freedom]

84. hum!

TrogL is better but Guido will do!

[VelmaD]

85. Don't even think about it missy.

Guido is well-paid and unbribable. And gay. Really really gay.

[Lady Freedom]

86. Then wheres forrest?

I'm horny and not a soul to ease it!

[VelmaD]

87. You got hands?

Use 'em for something besides typing whiny comments about how horny you are. ;-)

It's not like there aren't enough pics of Johnny Depp and Antonio Banderas on the board today to keep a girl's fantasy life fueled.

[Lady Freedom]

89. Yes

but there not as much fun on me as they are on a guy!

[TrogL]

91. tha's all righ'

where's those cabana toys (Freudian slip, was trying for "boys")

[VelmaD]

93. Hee...I think you just broke...

poor LF's heart. :evilgrin:

If it's cabana boys you want then Raul and Ramon are just a snap away. Call their names honey and tell 'em what you want.

[TrogL]

94. Remember, I swing both ways

:evilgrin:

[VelmaD]

97. excellent...

I can dig it. Love those bi-boys.

Our cabana boys are really pretty and the cabana girls are innocent on the outside and naughty on the inside.

[Lady Freedom]

98. Good!

Then can I keep up that nice little rub?

[TrogL]

102. g-g-go right ahead

[Lady Freedom]

88. Wait a minute I just saw HEyHey on another thread!

Come here HEyHey! :evilgrin:

[TrogL]

92. Hey, what's the dress code?

:silly:

[VelmaD]

96. Come as you are.

No dress code other than making Leftist Rebel keep his pants on. Get as nekkid as you wanta be. We're all adults here (except Leftist Rebel who is keeping his eyes shut like a good boy).

[Lady Freedom]

99. For you...

It's nude! easier to give you a full body rub down. With alot od attition to...( :evilgrin: )

[TrogL]

104. OK

[VelmaD]

106. Hey now...

remember we've got a kiddie present. If y'all are gonna get seriously nekkid then find a dark corner somewhere. ;-)

[VelmaD]

109. *big yawn*

Ok, I'm headed to bed. Y'all have fun. Clean up your mess and turn off the lights and lock up when you leave. See you all tomorrow night for more fun and frolic.

*smooches all around*

DV

[leftist_rebel1569]

111. good night...

:hi: