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As news breaks that (Vice Preznit Dick Cheney's former employer and continuing financial benefactor) Halliburton's bidless contract booty in Iraq is even more lucrative than previously believed, and as the number of American soldiers who have died in the occupation of Iraq slips past the gruesome threshold of the number that perished during the actual invasion, spin-doctors for this (mis)administration have begun to float the lamest excuse yet in their quest to find a fall-guy to blame for all the LIES they told in the lead-up to the Attaq on Iraq. According to this Charlotte Observer article, the Powers That Be are setting up to try and get us to believe that Saddam Hussein's regime "sent agents disguised as defectors to the West to plant fabricated intelligence" that Iraq was hiding Weapons of Mass Destruction!!! I don't know about you folks, but when yer old pal Jerky saw that, his immediate reaction was: "WHAH?!?" Stupefied by the very idea proposed by this article, I began to make a list of the...
TOP TEN REASONS WHY SADDAM TRICKED US INTO THINKING IRAQ HAD WMD!
11. Too embarrassed to admit he wasn't quite as evil as he had led everybody to believe.
10. He can only acheive an erection when America is threatening to invade.
9. It was the Rootbeer Schnapps talking.
8. Was worried the Genocidal Madman Guild might recind his license if he didn't have any.
7. Sheer masochism.
6. Wanted to trick Bush into getting caught in a Vietnam-like quagmire so he would lose the next election.
5. Everybody was doing it!
4. He was secretly getting sick of Iraq, anyway, and couldn't think of a better way to get out of the job.
3. Osama bin Laden dared him.
2. He's just plain bonkers!
1. He didn't, and this ridiculous charade is exactly as pathetic as it seems at first glance.
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