Why Men Are So Proud of Themselves

[protect freedom impeach bush now]

Why Men Are So Proud of Themselves


1. We know stuff about tanks
2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase
3. We can open all our own jars
4. We can go to the bathroom without a support group
5. We don't have to learn to spell a new last name
6. We can leave a motel bed unmade
7. We can kill our own food
8. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
9. Wedding plans take care of themselves
10. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend.
11. Underwear is $10 a three-pack
12. If you are 34 and single nobody notices
13. Everything on our faces stays the original color
14. Three pair of shoes are more than enough
15. We don't have to clean the house/apartment if the meter reader is coming.
16. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
17. We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
18. Same work - more pay
19. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character
20. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
21. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just might become lifelong friends.
22. You pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
23. We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors
24. We almost never have a "strap problem" in public
25. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes
26. The same hairstyle lasts for years - maybe decades
27. We don't have to shave below the neck
28. A few belches are expected and tolerated
29. Our belly usually hides our big hips
30. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons
31. We can do our nails with a pocketknife
32. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache
33. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day before Christmas and in 45 minutes.

[Maple]

1. This would apply to

Joe Sixpack maybe...no one else.

[zbird]

2. You forgot one (at least):

Men can pee standing up and/or write their names in the snow.

[Maple]

3. So can women

.

[zbird]

6. It's a little too messy for me (yes, I am female).

And as to the post below about driving/maps/directions, my husband always figured if you just drive faster, you'll find your way. However, that way usually is undeniably lost.

[Maple]

10. ??????

It's not at all messy.

Make a V for victory (or peace depending on your generation)with your fingers.

Squeeze your nether parts together gently and aim.

Works fine.

[Fixated]

12. ......

What the fu..

I know so little about women.

[TLM]

4. Oh clearly you just hate women...

beter watch out for the inevitable avalanch of "man bad" flames.



And you forgot...

"We're secure enough in knowing where we're going and our ability to not only read, but correctly refold, a map that we do not need to stop and ask for directions every ten minutes."

[Maple]

5. Riiiiiiiight

;-)

[Kamika]

7. hehe

3. We can open all our own jars

Good one :)

it sucks to always have to ask a guy to open jars

[efhmc]

8. Sweetie, you keep telling yourself that these are good things.

Okay?

[Fixated]

9. ....

Getting paid more isn't good?

My whole world has been turned upsidedown....

[piece sine]

11. shades of an old e-mail...

it's good to remind ourselves not to get tooooo PC...Life is short; laugh at yourself once in a while.

[Cheswick2.0]

13. so you are saying

that my wrinkles don't add character?

[TEXASYANKEE]

14. Mfhph.

12. If you are 34 and single nobody notices

I always thought this was patently unfair! :-(

[dofus]

15. About number 5...

Not all of us changed our last names upon acquiring a husband.

Always thought that was a little strange. It's the women who keep on getting married and keep on changing their last names that astonish me. Why bother?

[Maple]

16. Very true...lotta nonsense

Threads like this always amaze me with how deep the cultural conditioning goes.

Anything at all to exaggerate non-existant differences.

[seaglass]

17. Lol

I would add another:

when washing clothes, no need to separate white from dark, delicate from sturdy or check pockets for nails, candy or pens.

I suppose I should just be happy my husband helps with the wash:-)

[Skittles]

18. you forgot one

all your orgasms are real.

[Maple]

19. LOL

well you'd like women to think so.

[Semi_subversive]

20. Because we don't have to

Give birth!!!

[Maple]

21. That's because you can't

....so far.