Maybe we should write a commercial

[SaveABug]

The scene is an ordinary, everyday living room in the all American home. There are comic books scattered on one end, cigs fill the ash trays and a dog that won't stop barking in the background. Enter Chadley, father figure of the household. He has had a rough day. He takes a look around at the family gathered before him and says.............


(that's your cue to write something!)

[DarkPhenyx]

1. I'm sorry but...

...the voices say you must all die now.

*pulls out Uzi and the bloodshed commences*

*voiceover says*

Religious zelotry. Stop it befoer another family suffers.

[SaveABug]

3. Bravo! Bravo!

A public announcement - I like it.

[dorktv]

2. I got fired because of Bush's stupid economic policies, I got

mad, broke a window but the cops could not come because they all got fired when the city had to cut back on services.

[SaveABug]

4. hhhmmmmm

another public info-mercial. Intriguing.

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. "But I'm still voting republican, because at least

he knows the definition of 'is' and appreciates our troops. God bless America!"

[Demobrat]

5. What the hell is this shit?

Didn't I tell you I wanted this dump spotless when I got home?

Woman (stammering) Oh, oh, I'm sorry honey, it's just...

Man: Don't give me that shit. I told you what would happen if I had to walk in and see this trash once more. (Starts raising his fist).

CUT to horrified face of 10 year old boy

CUT back to Woman: Cody, remember what we talked about?

Boy: Yes, mom.

Action: Man swings fist, misses, woman runs around dining room table

Woman (screaming): No. No. Don't hit me. Stop.

CUT to boy, now standing in doorway pointing pistol at papa.

Boy: Dad?

Man: What:

Action: Boy fires pistol.

CUT to man as he clutches the bleeding hole in his chest and falls over.

CUT to smiling face of mom.

VO (male): Marriage counseling? Who needs it? You've got your best friends. Smith. And Wesson.

[SaveABug]

6. Phew

that's a difficult image. I was thinking more along the lines of a soap/laundry detergent commercial myself.

[Demobrat]

12. You mean like this?

Man: Thank god I'm home. What a day I had. First , I stopped to give a homeless guy a buck and he threw up on me. Real projectile vomiting. Then on the next block, somebody emptied their baby potty out the window. Wham. Right on my head. Well, some little kids saw me and started laughing and pointing, so I yelled at them to get lost. The next thing I know, two big bodybuilder types are chasing me down the street screaming at me to get away from the kids. Then when looked over my shoulder to see if they were gaining on me, I slipped on some dogshit and fell right in a garbage can.

Woman: No problem honey, because I've got new blue cheer.
(holds up box). There's nothing new blue cheer can't handle. Even Prøjecting vomiting.

VO: New blue cheer. Now newer than ever.

[SaveABug]

13. Now! That's more like it!

yeah

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Hey, is that dog live, or is it Memorex?

Then he laughs loudly at his stupid joke while his son watches dumbfounded. As he laughs, a couple emtpy gin bottles fall out of his suit coat then he urinates in the planter by the sofa, but misses a lot because he's swaying so much, muttering incoherently. His daughter is seen in the background making out with the dad from next door. Fade to black. Five second pause, then bring up logo: "Pepsi".


on edit: just saw the plea for laundry soap, so instead of coming up with Pepsi, the logo comes up: "Tide - gets out all stains" with oversound of throwing up.

[SaveABug]

9. Pepsi

Nothing goes better with rotgut whiskey. A newly drunk generation.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

10. "The company cut our pay again today for the second time this year

They say they it's either this or lay offs but they just paid the former CEO a 18 million dollar severance package. We're gonna have to cut back on our expenses to keep the house."

Cut to CAPTION:

LIVE BETTER - WORK UNION.

[SaveABug]

11. I'm going to drink a Miller for you

even though it's now owned by a South African company that probably couldn't give a shit. It does still have the label on it, right? I'm looking - yep - Union Made. And still in Milwaukee! Damn.