Am I the only one who hates going to big weddings?

[zanana]

Sometimes I wonder if something's wrong with me. I'm usually sincerely happy for the couple getting married, but I hate going to the weddings (especially the receptions). All I can think of is what a waste of effort and money it is to rent out the country club reception room, spend an enormous amount on food that goes half eaten, smile and smile for dozens of photographs and try to hide from all the video cameras and waste a perfectly good Saturday. It's all so predictable; one wedding is very much like another, and the chances are 50/50 that the marriage will last. Does anyone else feel this way, or am I just an antisocial crab?

[ForrestGump]

1. I hate going to them when I'm the groom,

that's for sure

[Cheswick2.0]

2. I agree

Weddings are a racket. Small weddings or family organized weddings can be lovely. But when I see these huge affairs that cost 20 thousand dollars... WTF are people thinking?

[mrbill]

5. weddings a racket, tell me about it.

in my misspent youth did a lot of high-end wedding photography.

dealing with the mother of the bride was always a weird trip.

over 50% of the wedding i shot ended in divorce in two years.

[Cheswick2.0]

16. Mr Bill, that is why I never did wedding photog

I couldn't stand the whole scene. I did one wedding, it was for a friend's daughter and the whole wedding was done by friends. It was a wonderful wedding. I did the photos, her mother, house mate and his partner did the catering and flowers. It was lovely. Her mothers housemate also officiated. It was in the garden of the church we all attended.

[Ilsa]

3. I don't mind the huge expenditures if

the people getting married can afford it. But I think spending that kind of money when you are middle class is generally irresponsible. When money problems is cited as a primary reason for divorce, I would think people would reserve more of their funds for getting through rough financial times during the actual marriage, saving for their future, for the possibility of having a family, etc.

[LoneStarLiberal]

4. I Hate Going To Any Wedding...

Err...I mean "I hate going to any patriarchial property exchange."

I have no axes to grind with a good progressive ceremony but the traditional stuff leaves me wondering why any self-respecting woman would put herself through something like that. I particularly am nauseated by the ultra-traditional stuff where the property transfer meme is only thinly disguised. I try to avoid them but out of respect for friends it's not always possible.

[ForrestGump]

9. If I ever d it again, my property transfer will be right up front,

for all to see....like this, from the most excellent 1969 film, Paint Your Wagon:

Haywood Holbrook: Dearly beloved. We have gathered together to grant this man, Ben Rumson, exclusive title to this woman, Mrs. Elizabeth Woodling, and to all her mineral resources. I have drawn up this Record of Claim which here and henceforth will be recognized as a certificate of marriage. So I ask you Ben, do you recognize this claim as a contract of marriage and do you take this woman to love honor and cherish?

Pardner: Oh, he does.

Haywood Holbrook: Elizabeth Woodling, do you take this man, Ben Rumson, to love, honor and obey him until death do you part.

Pardner: She does.

Haywood Holbrook: I now pronounce you claimed and filed as Mr. and Mrs. Ben Rumson.

[searchingforlight]

6. I agree that it is depressing.

I would counsel anyone to go small early. It will be worth it.

[zbird]

7. I think huge weddings are an incredible waste of money.

Not to mention that many of these spectacles are meant to impress family/friends/strangers that the bride/groom/parents are able to afford such lavish affairs. I cannot imagine spending thousands of dollars on a wedding dress that will NEVER be worn again. What an incredible waste! Why not use the money (for the huge wedding) for a nice downpayment on a house?

My husband and I got married in a little chapel in the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee with just one close friend in attendance. It was romantic and intimate and the whole thing, including video of the ceremony and photographer/pictures cost us less than $500.

[blondeatlast]

8. I agree with you 100%.

It just makes me cringe to see couples, just starting out, spend enormous amounts on lavish weddings; especially when (as in a friend's case) they don't seem to see that there is a MARRIED life after the wedding.

Hubby and I decided to have a simple ceremony and save our dough (we paid for nearly everything) for Hawai'i and a down payment on a house.

[Skittles]

10. I DESPISE THEM

I find them unbelievably pretentious and phony.

[Nikia]

11. I hate big weddings so I didn't have one

My evil mother-in-law had a huge problem with this. Her attitude ticked me off and I almost broke off my engagement because my husband was torn on what the right thing was to do rather than taking my side. This was her story about her big wedding that just outraged me.
"You'll have to have a big wedding. My family will expect it. My husband's family demanded a big wedding so I had one. I had five hundred guests at the (name of expensive reception place). I come from a very poor family (in all actuality middle class but...) and they had to take out massive loans to pay for it. Your family should be a able to do the same thing." I was upset because I never wanted a big wedding and knew that my family would never pay for one, especially since they knew that they'd be doing it for her. I was also upset because she had made unfair financial demands on her family, while she had been living at home until 28, spending all her money on nice clothes and shoes to attract a wealthier husband.
Anyway, we had eighty guests. I did cave in and have a sit down dinner and even pay for alcohol but it was in the early afternoon at a supper club and we only paid for what we consumed at regular menu prices. I also got a nice dress at less than half price because I was the right size to buy a floor model. We got a cake for a good price made by some woman who advertised in a special wedding supplement in the local free classified ads paper for less than half of what we'd pay at a bakery. Everything cost under $5,000 and we were able to pay for it. My husband and I were able to get home by 5:30 p.m. and have plenty of energy for each other. We even saw a movie later that night but neither one of us remember what it was.

[matcom]

12. Big Weddings BLOW CHUNKS

and so do half the guests usually by the time the reception is over. pomp and circumstance if you ask me.

i LOATHE THEM!

[JVS]

13. Weddings suck

What makes people think that I give a goddamned hoot in hell about how happy they think they are going to be. The only weddings I like are the ones where I get to see people in my family that I usually never get to see.

[twilight]

14. well I didn't go

My younger brother married a real dweb at age 40. I did not want to go and it was a big event - even printed his picture in the paper, etc.

I sent a gift and that was it.

My brother was pissed cause my mother (who is now dead) didn't want to go either being she didn't approve of the marriage either. So, she didn't go and she got sick and died a few months later of cancer!

My brother is still angry. He believes that she should have shelled out all these bucks for this crock o' shyte.

When I got married the cost was $40.00 in Carson City, Nevada. No one had a party or anything for us and frankly I really don't care being that wasn't the idea behind getting married.

It a game to bring in money I am convinced.

I don't blame you for not buying into it. I never did and never will.

If you go you are being a hypocrite. That is what it came down to for me. So, I did not go and I have no regrets.

The "happily" married couple are up to their arses in debt now with a new McMansion and two lousy jobs living in the Bay Area of San Francisco. What a big joke. I wonder how they are liking having to pay $75 a pop to fill up one of their big SUVs?

:dem:

[InkAddict]

15. I resolve

to decline wedding invitations in which I have no relationship with the bride/groom, even like third cousins twice removed-family, or in cases in which I've heard how the bride/groom talk about their relationship (co-workers). My rationale is that, if the couple are married in church, there is usually something said about the congregation being witnesses to the action and some sort of prayer/vow to aid and nuture the couple throughout the marriage. If I can't see my way clear to give that to the couple singly or collectively, then a free meal is not worth the hypocracy of spouting off "in the presence of God and these witnesses" to uphold/nurture/support that marriage. "When Bad Things Happen to Good People," is something guaranteed to happen across the lifetimes of married persons, and may require more sacrifice than I'm prepared to give to persons whose relationship from the get-go is not very clear to me. Just Plain Tired of being PC!

[toddzilla]

18. i worked

banquets in a hotel for nearly 4 years.. weddings are stupid, pointless consumerism. i've seen some really,really ridiculously frivolous spending. i figured i've been to a couple hundred wedding receptions as a waiter, and they are just plain silly. i've seen multi thousand dollar cakes, multi thousand dollar ice sculptures.. 8,000 bucks on a cover band.. you name it i've seen it..


don't even get me started on bat/bar mitzvahs... those are even worse!

[slackmaster]

17. Especially Catholic ones

A big weddings is an ORDEAL for everyone involved, but you get fed at the reception and they have some entertainment value. I always get a kick out of watching the subset of women who are really "into it" and their husbands or dates pretending to enjoy themselves, some with more success than others.

[GalleryGod]

19. Nope. Me too!

:silly:

[Booberdawg]

20. I avoid weddings and go to the receptions instead

I HATE wedding ceremonies! I avoid them at ALL costs! I attended my little sister's wedding ceremony but that was different. I hated it but it was one of those things .....

I always skip the wedding and attend the reception - with a gift.

[arwalden]

21. It's A RACKET To Get Free Gifts...

(Too cynical?)

-- Allen

[twilight]

22. you got that right

My brother had THE NERVE to send my late mother a book about all of the "what to do's". Boy did that ever piss her off! In the book, they had a chapter entitled, "Bringing in the Loot"! Can you believe that one.

And yes, it was a Catholic wedding - my brother converted to "the religion" to marry this dimzo. When the time came for my mother's funeral which was said at the same Catholic Church as my father's, he did not even attend!

He is cursed! Cursed! Cursed! What a greedy SOB!!!!

:grr:

[realFedUp]

23. if you aren't paying for it

enjoy!!!

[newyawker99]

24. Congrats zanana!! 900 posts

:toast: