The Scab-Munching Churchgoer of all CAPTIONS!!!!

[skip fox]

As Laura is talking about the sermon with Reverend Dr. Luis Leon, W. is "thinking": "Yada, yada, yada. Yeah, yeah, Rev, that peace on earth shit wasn't lost on me. You pull that shit on me every time I come here. . . . Motherf**ker. . . . You ever think about reading the Old Testament for a freakin' change? Geez, it's like twice as long as the New Testament or something and has got LOTS more action. . . . Hmmm. . . . I wish he'd give that New Testament commie stuff a break . . . just one week . . . Geez."

[Fridays Child]

1. " Damn it! He's just gabbing away, giving Laura tips on...

...wearing pantsuits under her dresses while I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! Mommy!!!"

[greatauntoftriplets]

2. Laura, your husband has terrible fashion sense.

A brown jacket with black trousers? Who does he think he is, Ronald Reagan?

[Fenris]

3. Reverend Leon is saying:

"Look, I would really prefer it if you either quit stealing the bottle of sacrament wine from the tabernacle or you stop coming altogether. I could care less. I really am sick of having to replace the decanter every time you and your husband attend. And please, if you need to vomit during church services, the restrooms are clearly marked. Also, if you could refrain from bringing that pharmacy you call a purse into my church, that would be excellent. And Mr. Bush, the other parishoners and myself would appreciate it if you did not sleep or break wind during my sermon. It is distracting, and I have a hard enough time keeping myself awake through this shit anyway."

[Hubert Flottz]

14. Bush Sez, "Mom can you tell Pickles how to dress up?"

"She still shops at Family Dollar Maw!"

[ikojo]

4. "Doesn't this guy ever

shut up? I just sat through a lame @ss sermon and I AM READY TO GO! My beer is getting warm!"

[patdem]

5. And Laura speaks....

George did not DROP the dog...the dog JUMPED out of his arms, isn't that right George*...Preacher guy....why are you wearing those hip hop pants under your robe? Looks like after we leave you are going to join some hip hop band and start singing hip hop music? George, why do I wear pumps that appear to be holding my up by a thread? Seems like one wrong move and I am gonna lose a heal..or is that heel? Anyway, why do women wear high heels George*?...And why are you looking at me that way?

[skip fox]

6. When morning's captions sound no more the vaulted blue,

And those of afternoon desert poor memory's que,
Then DU'ers of the evening will sharpen pens,
That they might have fresh captions once again.

:bounce:

[rock]

7. Hmmmmmm, h-e-a-d

(in a Homer Simpson voice)

[LynneSin]

8. So that's what happened to those Curtains I donated to Good Will

Although grey really isn't a good color for the first lady!

[cosmicdot]

9. the Rev. Leon: so, see you again in a year?

... oh, I'm afraid I can't lie and say you've been here every Sunday ...

[smallprint]

10. uh why don't you two get acquainted while i step out for a minute

and get some sacramental fluids heh heh

[maxanne]

11. in a Beavis/Butthead voice

heh heh heh - tell her what you got on under the robe, Leon. Heh heh heh

[qb]

12. A new do, tasteful dress and shoes, and you won't look so much like

the goddamned Church Lady!

[GalleryGod]

13. Laura's ASS!!!?! You could show A Drive-In Movie on THAT can!

:puke: