God fucking damn it

[SweetZombieJesus]

My brother's still not home, and it's about 12:30 my time. Idiot guitarist friend finally moved out, but he had to browbeat Mike into coming over to his new place and drink beer with him. He doesn't have his keys with him, so now I can't sleep because I don't want to lock the door. The least he could do is call me and tell me he's ok or that he's going to crash over there or something so I won't worry.

I worried a lot before, but now whenever he leaves I worry that he's going to get in a car wreck or something. He's making me sick with worry here. Now I know how my mom felt when I was a teenager.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. Does brother have a cell phone?

Or do you have Idiot Guit's phone number?
Call him.

[SweetZombieJesus]

4. No cell phone, no number for idiot guitarist. I'm probably going to have

to call idiot guitarists on again off again on again off again ad infinitum girlfriend and find out the number.

I'm so pissed I can't see straight right now. Why the fuck can't he pick up a phone and call me?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

6. Try not to get angry. He doesn't get it. (why)

and he's experiencing his grief his way...ya'll gotta sit down and talk about this stuff.

You can't stop things from happening but he can learn consideration...and knowing when he might need his bro to come looking for him.

Relax..there's nothing you can do about right now but you can communicate later. He is probably fine.

[LearnedHand]

2. <sharp intake of breath> Any way...

...to call him?

[WilliamPitt]

3. Beat the sweet zombie jesus out of him

[prolesunited]

5. That's a drag

Perhaps tomorrow you can explain to him how it makes you feel. Given your recent loss, it's natural to feel like something else bad is going to happen or want to hang on to those around you tighter.

I'm sure everything is fine. Do you have to be up in the morning for anything?

[SweetZombieJesus]

7. Yeah, I have to be up at four am to get ready for work

I imagine I'll get about two hours of sleep, if even that. I took two Simply Sleeps that aren't doing jack shit to make me fall asleep, so I'm just sitting here watching The Wild Bunch and waiting for the little jackass to get home. I'm trying to contain my rage so I won't yell at him, but it's hard.

[roguevalley]

8. kick his ass when you cool off tomorrow

if he's living with you, no matter how the hell old he is,
he owes you the courtesy of a call. simple thing, calls. it
is his DUTY and if you have to hit him with a two by four
to make it sink home, do it.

Until then, hugs, honey.

[sandnsea]

9. Things usually do work out

I know that's hard. My mom died when I was 1 and so whenever I hear 'what's the worst that could happen' my answer has always been, 'they could die, seriously'. It's my life experience. Now it's yours and I'm really sorry.

But the truth is people usually are okay. Teen-age kids that don't come home until all hours and most of them do it at least a few times. Teen-age kids that drink when they shouldn't be. Older kids that move out and are doing who knows what that you don't even know they're doing.

But at 26, 23, 19 and 17, they're all okay. Things usually do work out.

Hang in there!

[cally]

10. Well, I spent hours last night worrying about my daughter

who was hours late :mad: I understand the fear and rage right now. Usually, they have no idea how upset you are or that they should have called.

Try to call him and figure it out. My advice is not to discuss all this tonight. Once you figure out he is OK, then go to sleep. Tomorrow discuss this.

[SweetZombieJesus]

11. Ok, he's home now

Crisis averted. I didn't yell, I just told him I was worried, and he said he was sorry, but I don't think he gets where I'm coming from on this one. I should be ok, since I slept most of the day today trying to shake my massive hangover. If I go to bed now, I'll probably get about three hours sleep, which isn't so bad.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

12. Glad it all turned out well

remember to communicate when you are not hung over and he is sober. Put it on your "to-do" list :loveya:

[cally]

13. Get some sleep

and talk tomorrow. I'm glad he is safe. It sounds like you handled it well. Tomorrow you can explain your fear. Good night. :loveya:

[Rhiannon12866]

14. Yes, SweetZombieJesus, you need to tell him how you felt

so you won't have to go through this again. Just let him know that you were worried, but make sure you don't put him on the defensive, as a parent might. I envy you your close relationship with your brother. Mine is a freeper, and probably a Nazi.:shrug:

[Twillig]

17. wait for tomorrow to let him have it

Explain to him the concept of 'wuv'

[sandnsea]

15. To callie and SZJ

Do it to them. Not in a way that they'll think you're drinking or anything. But some time when they expect you at 4:00 in the afternoon, don't come home until 6 or 7. (Know for sure they're actually going to be home during that time.) Let them rant and rave about how worried they were (and they will). Apologize and promise to call next time.

And then wait until they go out again and remind them to call, just like they want you to call when you're late.

It works like a charm!

[cally]

16. Thanks

I've done that a few times inadvertently. I forgot to call a few times. I didn't plan to worry my family but it happened. It's why I said in my post that most of the time loved ones do not understand that someone is at home who is very worried. They will understand tomorrow if you explain it to them.