After 2 1/2 long years I FINALLY got 300 posts - ask me anything!

[Garage Queen]

No, really, ask away.

(sits quietly in corner, twiddling thumbs)

[dawg]

1. You sound like me ... I've been here longer than Skinner!!!

So, why are you the queen of the garage?

[Garage Queen]

2. Hmmmm, that is a very good question.

And one that shows how committed Americans are at getting to The Truth. I *could* answer your question right now. I *could* tell you why I'm the Queen, and all about my Garage, and even why I'm the Queen of my Garage. But I feel the American people deserve more than a hurried, off-the-cuff answer.

That is why I'm announcing today the appointment of a blue-ribbon panel whose sole purpose will be to investigate whether we should form a committee to study the Garage Queen question. If and when that committee is formed, they will make a detailed analysis of Queens, Garages, and ... um.... Queens of Garages, so that we will never again have to face the possibility of this happening again.

Thank you. and Vote for Me in November! :7

[dawg]

3. Can I be appointed to the panel?

Then when I run for office here in Georgia I can use that as an example of my experience:

"dawg served on the blue-ribbon panel that investigated the Garage Queen issue! He's experienced, dependable, and will stand up for Georgia values!"

Of course, I wouldn't really stand up for Georgia values ... more like Massachusetts values, actually.

[Garage Queen]

4. I like your enthusiasm, dawg.

It's Americans like you - helping to serve and protect the interests of this great country of ours - that makes me proud. We could certainly use more people like you. People with that can-do spirit and pro-active initiative to think outside the box to create new paradigms for generations to come. People who need people. People who, for a token contribution of $5,000 to my reelection campaign, are proud to serve on my blue ribbon committee.

Thank you, God Bless, and Vote for me in November!

B-)

[dawg]

8. I don't want to create new paradigms ...

I want to help execute a paradigm-shift so as to enable the decision-makers in our economy to do the things they do best. Only by building a culture of inclusivity are we able to reach the full potential of productivity growth that is essential to sustaining a healthy balance in the global free-market of ideas.

[Garage Queen]

10. Wow.

I am humbled by your superior use of corporate-speak. I bow before the master.

and look foward to working together with the ... uh .... paradigm-shifters to ... uh ... shift out of, I mean...shift into ... or alongside .. the newest, shiftiest paradigms ever!

:grouphug:

[Droopy]

5. Why don't you post more often?

You should be in here tearing it up!

[Garage Queen]

11. Heh heh, yes, yet ANOTHER excellent question.

We sure got some good readers in here. (Aside: quick - name that quote!)

I would like to be in here posting more, Mr. Droopy. But my tireless committment to representing you, the people, as your duly elected representative, prevents me from posting here as often as I'd like. While there are those who feel that I could best represent my constituency by posting in here, We feel that YOUR interests are better served by tireless and unwavering support of YOUR issues at the legislature.

And I look forward to receiving your contribution to my beer, um, Election Fund, right away.

Thank you!

[gratuitous]

12. Uh George W. on September 11?

For that "good readers" quote.

Meanwhile, I notice that you're ducking the hard questions I've asked. I'm feeling real Helen Thomas right now, so I'll go with another one:

What's your favorite color?

gratuitous
Puttin' the screws to another candidate

[Garage Queen]

17. Heh heh heh. Well, looks like we got ourselves a winner!

Your box of Garage Queen Minty Cookies is on its way! I hope the prison guards actually let you keep some of them this time.

My favorite color you say? My favorite color is the color of rain. The color of a puppy's warm, sweet breath. My favorite color is the color of America, standing strong and firm against ... um ... whatever it is she feels the need to stand firm against. Or For.

Ok, thanks for your question!

[Jokerman]

6. It took me two years to break 200!

Congrats Garage Queen!

[Garage Queen]

13. Thanks, Jokerman!

It was a long, hard struggle, but we've managed to overcome great obtacles and pitfalls along the way. However, in the long run, the struggle has only made us stronger, more competitive, and even more determined to persevere.

[Cheswick2.0]

7. what took you so long

don't you know we are all dying to read what you have to say on every topic?

Ches sings:

Getting to know you,
Getting to feel free and easy
When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say

Haven't you noticed
Suddenly I'm bright and breezy?
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I'm learning about you
Day by day.

[Garage Queen]

15. I appreciate your enthusiasm, Ches. (may I call you Ches?)

But I support a diverse, multi-thematic approach to dispersing my views on many, um, diverse subjects. We've taken multi-tasking, multi-dimentional and multi-thematic approaches to getting out our message in ways no other candidate dared dream. Or execute.

Many of you were there when we held the "Queen for a Day Political Debate and Monster Truck Rally." Still more showed up for the Garage Queen Eye for the Redneck Guy marathon. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention the 2 or 3 of you who lent your support at the Garage Queen Kissing Booth/Dunk Tank at the Michigan State Fair. ("Pay a Dollar - Get Wet!") It was quite an inspiring site, let me tell you.

Um, I'm sorry, what was the question again?

[gratuitous]

9. Anything? Okay, um, what's with the hat?

And what's your favorite movie?

[Garage Queen]

16. Hey, hold on there, you! (chuckles) One at a time, ok?

I'm greatly heartened to see you express such a personal interest in my dressing habits. Granted, it would be nice if you'd avoided breaking into my house to see what was in my closet ... and hadn't stalked me all across the country ... and hadn't made me hire a team of bodyguards and get three restraining orders against you.

But, your enthusiastic and energetic approach to becoming involved in the American Selection process via your prison internet connection is a lesson in dedication we can ALL learn from.

The hat was a gift from my great-great-grandma Agnes, a colorful old woman who used to fall asleep in front of the fireplace everynight after polishing off yet another bottle of Jack Daniels. (sigh. ah, memories) This was nana's favorite hat, and I wear it as a tribute to her. And to keep the alien mind control rays from infiltrating my brain. (Don't you *hate* when that happens?)

As for my favorite movie. Well, gratuitous, my favorite movie is ANY movie in which the average American find inspiration, laughter, tears, joy, lust, revenge, anger, or cookies. There are a lot of movies out there, and picking a "favorite" would be a lot like asking a parent to choose their favorite child. Which would be wrong. So very, very wrong. And yet so many parent could actually do it. If pressed to.

[Aristus]

14. Congrats, Garage Queen!

Someone who posts less often than I do. But I've been making up for it since I got plugged in in March.

[dawg]

18. Are you trying to make it through this thread ....

without actually answering a single question?

[Garage Queen]

19. I'm glad you asked me that, dawg.

You are indicative of the free-spirited, rough-and-tumble, go-get-'em, cut-throat, dog-eat-dog, any-port-in-a-storm, give-and-take of America very active political scene.

And while many may consider your question valid, let me just say this: isn't it great to live in a country where you are free to ask of your elected representatives questions such as these? Doesn't it make your heart swell with pride to know that, once and for all, we're all in this together?

And did you know that by contributing another $1,000 to my Garage Queens Across America campaign you'll receive this stunning mousepad with my picture on it?

B-)

[dawg]

20. Uhm, I'm a little short of cash right now.

Is there any way I can still get the mouse pad?

[Garage Queen]

21. You know, dawg, if it were up to me I'd be happy to give you ...

TWO mousepads. However, I'm not really the person in charge of all this fundraising stuff, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to defer your question to my Fundraising Manager, gratuitous. I'm sure that once he's out of solitary confinement he'll be more than happy to take your request under advisement just as soon as is humanly possible. If not sooner!

[gratuitous]

22. Yeah, we got yer mouse pad right here!

In the cell next to mine at Guantanamo. Don't ask me how I got here; I had one of GQ's Minty Cookies, and the next thing I know, I'm watching Crisco Johnny and Crash Cart waltzing around in each other's arms, singing "I Feel Pretty" while John Poindexter paddles my fanny and asks if I'm feeling lucky.

[dawg]

23. Er .. um ... I guess I can live without the mouse pad.

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[Garage Queen]

24. Well, Dawg (may I call you dawg?) You're in luck!

Just yesterday the little orphans at my campaign sweatshop (uh, I mean the Union factory in Tennessee) began making these Special Limited Edition "Garage Queen for (insert name of elected office here)" Mousepads SPECIALLY designed for all my optically enhanced constituents.

"How can I get one?" you ask? Let me tell you: it's easy! For a contribution of only $750 you too can have one of these fine pieces of Genuine Precious Polymer-based beauties!

Yep, for just $750. And the keys to your car. And your first-born.

:7

Thanks evah so much.

[newyawker99]

25. Congrats G Q!!

:toast: :party: