I had to call the police last night

[sable302]

because my neighbors (man and woman) were intoxicated and violently fighting (we live in adjacent apartments). The volume was not as big of an issue as that I was reasonably afraid that one of them was going to seriously injure the other or worse. It seems one was trying to throw the other out of the house and getting nowhere. My wife and I listened through the window after the police arrived and both of them ended up getting arrested, and I haven't seen or heard from either of them all day.

Why they don't know for sure who called the police, it seems logical that I did, and the last thing the woman did was scream through our window at us "THANKS NEIGHBORS!"

Should we be worried now? What sort of things should we do to protect ourselves? Has anybody else been in a similiar situation?

Thoughts?

[trof]

1. What did you call them?

barumph-bump
Sorry.
I just hadda.
Are you the only neighbors?

[sable302]

3. yep

apt on the other side is empty

[slackmaster]

2. They have much bigger problems than worrying about who called the cops

When they calm down and sober up they will probably be motivated to fix the relationship before things get worse, or one of them will move out. The incident should serve as a wake-up call for them.

They really SHOULD thank you that the cops broke up their fight and arrested them for minor offenses. If someone had been seriously injured their legal problems will be much worse.

Don't sweat it. You did the right thing!

:toast:

[mistertrickster]

4. I agree--you did the right thing

They won't be able to tell who filed the complaint.

Also, it's not your fault they got all liquored up and decided to have a huge row. The police thought it was a bad situation too; otherwise, they would have just scolded them and moved on.

If they don't like getting arrested, they should try not attacking each other after they get drunk.

[Wcross]

5. Protection

Should we be worried now? What sort of things should we do to protect ourselves? Has anybody else been in a similiar situation?

I doubt they will take it out on you, drunks say some wild things. If confronted, tell them the truth- that you were worried about them. Tell them that you would feel guilty if one was injured or killed and you had to do something as it was obvious that they were fighting. Also suggest if they wish to argue, they should keep it in a conversational tone so you won't have to call the police for their protection next time.

[librechik]

6. a) they won't remember b) they're on PR bonds

if they're out, so they won't try anything unless they're totally insane.

c) they are on random UAs, so they won't drink or drug up right away.

Of course, D and D types aren't known for following the rules, so watch your back and call the cops again if necessary. They're the ones to handle this. You did the right thing. Believe me.

I was once married to an abusive drunk. The best thing that ever happened to us was when the cops arrested him and a judge told him to straighten up his act (he wouldn't listen to anyone else--the only thing he respected was The Law) It took awhile but he got clean and made it up to me very humbly. He did the whole anger management routine and changed his life and attitude. That was almost 15 years ago and we are still together and getting better everyday.

Unfortunately that kind of turnaround rarely happens, and it's better to get the therapy going as fast as possible; it's the only thing that seems to help. Good luck!

[XanaDUer]

7. Yes, I have, and it was a nightmare...

I live in a lowish-income place (but pay over 600 a month for the priviledge) and the cops are here every night for one reason or another.

One set of neighbors, who got thrown out finally, threatened to kill our dog, and I told him he would be very sorry if he did that. That scared him, actually. I just told him he would be sorry. That's all I said, but the look on my face must have let him know not to screw with me.

Then we call the police (four times so far) when the woman upstairs sounds like she is being beaten up, or is beating her boyfriend and we hear screams and stuff like that. There has already been one murder in the complex in the last 3 months, actually. I'm from NYC, so I tend to take stuff like this not so seriously (tho' NYC seemed safer and quieter).

So, just keep your eye out. If you have a car, try to park it in front of where you live...but, if they were that intoxicated, they may not remember what happened. Emotions run high at such times, and there is probably enough on their plate that it really does not matter who called the cops. Did the cops hear her scream that? There is not a lot they can do to you, and I would not live in fear because of it.

[tweekinnow]

8. I had my neighbors arrested

They were both gone for 30 days and when they came back from jail we never heard another peep from them until they moved.I think the Cops or the Prosecutor put the fear of God in them while they were gone.Anyway they were told to knock it off!If yours come back and bother you call the Cops and this time it will be Buh-Bye! For Sure!

[XanaDUer]

9. Yes, and did you get a copy of the police report?

That may be enough to get them out of the apartment complex if they are threatening you or anyone else.

Forgot to mention that the first time.

[jburton]

10. Prolly won't remember...

Or if they do they will be to embarassed or too scared (on bail) to do anything.

Get a copy of the police report. If they bother you, call the police and the landlord.

They could get evicted easily already.

[sable302]

11. Thank you everybody

It was a pretty frightening experience for us, and we have a 2 yr old, so I wonder what it was like for him.

It's good to hear encouragement that we did the right thing.

I will take all the advice into consideration.

[sable302]

12. well, they're back

They are still together, and I saw that their dealer was over today so they have a fresh stock of whatever drug they're doin these days.

For those who have been there, how long until it happens again?

TIA

[listenup]

13. Depends on their drug of choice and how long

until the money runs out.

They, I hope and expect, are paying no attention to you. They probably don't even remember the circumstances of what happened, and are only focused on feeding their current needs. I would personally not wait until they got crazy again. It is for their, as well as your, own good to ask that someone patrol the area and make their presence known. There may be children or disabled people in the area that sure don't need to deal with it.

It's only a matter of time if they are still using before something blows up.

[grasswire]

14. how about...

...letting the landlord know that the cops arrested them and that drug use is going on? If you don't feel comfortable telling the landlord directly, you could drop an anonymous note. I had to complain about a neighbor who was addicted to something and kept an open flop house going in her apartment with people coming and going and guys working on jalopies and a couple of ambulance calls for something. A phone call to the landlord. They were out in 30 days.

[Dr_Greenthumb]

15. If you have pets, keep them inside

at least I would.

[aquaman]

16. As a therapist

I used to lead group therapy sessions for men who were court ordered to receive counseling because of domestic abuse charges. One of the most difficult populations I have ever worked with because most of the feedback entailed "she deserved it."

[listenup]

17. respectful reply

I have mixed feelings about it. Obviously, no one ever "deserved it."

There are times, and I have seen it more than once (though wouldn't venture a percentage) that the cops have gone to a home and made a judgement immediately without facts, and arrested the guy. This hurts almost to say it, but I have seen it in my practice (before). Personally, I have seen the results of abuse, and hope others would too, but think no one should make an immediate decision without facts. I've been on both ends of the spectrum.

[Porcupine]

18. Domestic violence laws apply to men only....

With no evidence that I had committed a crime (I hadn't) my wife filed a restraining order that made me homeless, denied me access to my children, and deprived me of access to community property. It was a free and easy way to destroy me.

By the standards of domestic violence law in California men are jailed daily for "injuries" that do not mark or bruise their partners in any way. A woman, however can stab, beat, bash, poke or hammer on a man to her hearts content with no fear of arrest or charge. She only needs to use the "South Park" defense. "He was coming right at me!!"

I get to spend every thursday night for the next year pretending that I was the sole source of all our problems. The whole thing is a scam. I wonder how you guys sleep nights.

[listenup]

19. In most states these days, they don't

If the cops are called to a domestic dispute, and both are high or drunk or whatever, they are both charged and taken in. It will be sorted out the next day, but cops have no patience anymore for this kind of thing. They have no time.

[Porcupine]

20. The DA will most often file charges against the man only.....

it's cheap and easy. A woman can easily tie up his time with a jury trial. Most men dont' have a chance in hell of getting fair representation from a public defender so they take the plea bargain offered. It's good statistics for the DA and nobody gives a crap about the poor shmoe sitting in jail.

That's why they call it the prison-industrial complex.

[listenup]

21. You are, I'm sure, right in some places

but most "enlightened" places now instruct the investigating officers to arrest both and the court will sort it out the next day. Much more money involved. The cops don't have to make a decision, and the court gets twice as much money.

I feel, from your words, that you were wronged in many ways. I can't say enough about how I detest the justice system these days.

[grasswire]

22. I should clarify...

...my post above about calling the landlord on the neighbor woman who became addicted to something and was keeping a flop house. A lot of petty thefts were going on from apartment porches, there was noise all hours of the night, and there was a young (13) very beautiful daughter in the apartment where assorted shady men were transiting through. Another neighbor reported that situation to family services after suspecting the girl might be under pressure.

It was unfortunate all the way around. I was on good terms with the woman; I had helped her out with food and Christmas gifts over several years. But I have a daughter to protect, too, and we were worried about all this shifty stuff going on.

[Porcupine]

24. Every situation is unique. But go to the court and watch.....

them process these cases at lightening speed. It truly is scary.

[Porcupine]

23. That's why the U.S. is bankrupt....

we ignore solutions used in other places that succesfully defuse violence and solve problems. Instead we throw staggering numbers of people into jails at staggering costs.

Don't get me wrong. Some people truly belong in jail. But the current system is a disaster.