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Thinking of sticking a firecracker up your arse? My advice is - don't...

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Pert_UK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 07:51 PM
Original message
Thinking of sticking a firecracker up your arse? My advice is - don't...
Damn, I hope this wasn't Rooboy!

:evilgrin:

"An horrific firecracker accident which left an Illawarra man incontinent and unable to have sex has prompted warnings from police and health authorities.

The man suffered extensive injuries from the explosion and required emergency surgery. He now has a colostomy and a catheter, and is sexually dysfunctional...

Illawarra Health emergency surgeon Dr Robert McCurdiesaid he believed the man had stumbled while the firecracker was in his buttocks, and fell down on it. "By virtue of the fact that the explosion was confined in an upward direction, it went up into his pelvis, blasted a great hole in the pelvis, ruptured the urethra, injured muscles in the floor of the pelvis which rendered him incontinent."

Full article:

http://www.illawarramercury.com.au/articles/2003/09/03/1062515432209.html/

Now I do, honestly, feel sorry for this guy - a comical prank has gone horribly, horribly wrong.......but on the other hand, there really is no way to stick a lit firecracker inside your body without causing at least some risk to personal health.

I know it, you know it, and he knew it.....

One too many VB's and see what happens??

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Dookus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 07:56 PM
Response to Original message
1. Thanks for posting this!
I was JUST about to try it myself.

Whew!
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Pert_UK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 08:04 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Just doing my job - Safety First, Fun Last.....
:-)

P.
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rfranklin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 08:10 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Rule Britannia...
Marmalade and jam,
Crackers up your arsehole,
Bam, bam, bam, bam!

From my days in an English boys school.

(Yes, "in," as "in prison.")
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amber dog democrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 08:45 PM
Response to Original message
4. unbelievable
as sad as this is, I still ask what was this person thinking?

Reminds me of an old philosophy professor I knew who used to say " you only have one life to **** up and when you **** it up m you're ****ed.

This could have been me in my adolescent years. fun with pyrotechnics....
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blondeatlast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 08:58 PM
Response to Reply #4
7. LOOOOVE the handle!
Welcome to DU!

:toast:
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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 08:47 PM
Response to Original message
5. What was * doing in Illawarra? Must've been him--who else is that dumb? nt
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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 08:47 PM
Response to Original message
6. What was * doing in Illawarra? Must've been him--who else is that dumb? nt
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 09:02 PM
Response to Original message
8. Oh good grief!
Just exactly how big was this fire cracker?!

Sounds painful!

But holding it in the buttocks and then tripping up?!! Yagh!!!!!!!!

Not just one too many VBs. Watching one too many American-made programs... :scared:
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Runesong Donating Member (219 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 09:04 PM
Response to Original message
9. I'll have to send this to my little brother.
He once had a firecracker go off in his mouth. For some reason he survived dozens of absolutely ridiculous, but potentially lethal childhood accidents, unscathed. The most spectacular of which was at the age of ten, he rode the alpine slide at "full throttle" for over a mile and crashed into the rubber bumper at the end at 50 mph. He flipped through the air like a rag doll and landed on his face 10 or 15 feet from the bumper. Everybody was gasping and thought he was dead. He got up with a little 10 year old beavis and butthead laugh, and walked away.

Another time, when we were camping in Lake Placid, he was doing back flips off the diving board, his head landed flat on the diving board, and he bounced into the water. Anyone else would have broken their neck. About 10 people yelled holy shit, and were about to jump in the pool after him. He comes up to the surface all smiles. "duh-huhuhuh!"

I would cite the movie "Indestructable", if he had not been hit buy a car on his paper route and actually broken his leg.


I, on the other hand am 34 years old and have never broken a bone, had surgery or even stitches. (well, I've had medical superglue) My friends suspect I'm a vampire. :)
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Booberdawg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 09:05 PM
Response to Original message
10. I saw this earlier and was too speechless to respond. LOL!
I mean, what would possess a rational person to stick a lit firecracker their asshole?? LOL! This is one for the Darwin list - at least he can't reproduce now. sheesh!
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Pert_UK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. Firecrackers are illegal in NSW too.....presumeably for this very reason
Did they have a series of arse-explosions or something? Are they all insane in NSW? Is it compulsory, in which case I'll skip NSW and stay in the NT a bit longer???

P.
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buff2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 09:56 PM
Response to Original message
12. Wouldn't lighting farts have been a lot safer???
Geez.... :nuke:
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Twillig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 10:03 PM
Response to Original message
13. Nevermind the guy with the firecracker how about this quote from the doc:
"I have seen instances ... where people have tried to remove items from their rectum and rupture the sphincter muscles, but not anything like this," he said.

Now what on earth would cause someone to pull something outta their ass so fast that it would rupture their sphincter muscles?

WMD's?
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Pert_UK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-04-03 10:05 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. Isn't that how Bush got his economic / environmental policies?
:evilgrin:

Boom-tish!

P.
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