What should I do with my life?

[SweetZombieJesus]

Poll question: What should I do with my life?

The saddest thing is, this poll is almost serious. At this point I'd let the lot of you decide the course of the rest of my life, because I'm at my wit's end.

[arwalden]

1. Temporarily... If She Needs You.

It's not so bad. I moved home for a whole year during my mom's divorce from my stepfather. Actually we were both going through a divorce at the same time, so it was a good arrangement for both of us.

I was 28 at the time... so it was kind of weird, but we managed.

-- Allen

[SweetZombieJesus]

3. I think she's ok, and will be ok

I just kind of feel like running home to mommy a lot lately. Probably wouldn't be the best for my mental health though, since there's even less to do in Ogallala than there is in Kearney, and I can guarantee I wouldn't be able to find a job there. I know I can't run away from my problems, but it's really hard being here so far away from my family. I mean, I've got my brother here, but we're both so devastated neither of us really know what to say to make the other one feel better.

[SweetZombieJesus]

6. I think she's ok, and will be ok

I just kind of feel like running home to mommy a lot lately. Probably wouldn't be the best for my mental health though, since there's even less to do in Ogallala than there is in Kearney, and I can guarantee I wouldn't be able to find a job there. I know I can't run away from my problems, but it's really hard being here so far away from my family. I mean, I've got my brother here, but we're both so devastated neither of us really know what to say to make the other one feel better.

[JewelDigger]

2. Pick something and don't look back.....

....I too have been/am caught in that 'so many things to do/so little time....just pick something and do it (or perhaps, if you listen to circumstance, it will pick u ;-)

[sandnsea]

4. Write

Something, anything, it's kind of obvious by your 'choices' that's what you want to do. Just start doing it. Life sort of sucks half the time anyway, so it may as well suck while you're doing something you really wanted to do in the first place.

On edit:

I lost my mom two years ago. It'll get better. Just be as miserable as you need to be until it does.

[Blue_Chill]

5. If your mom needs you, your place is with her.

Other then that follow your heart man. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

[TroubleMan]

7. Move to Amsterdam

And just party your ass off. Get some job there, any job, and get away from all this BFEE shit.

[philosophie_en_rose]

8. Runaway!

No? Well, whatever you do, it will be "something." Even working at a convenience store is great, if it means you have time or money to do something that you enjoy.

It's so tough to find what you want to do. It's easy enough for me to recommend something silly, but actually doing any of those things would be up to you. Is there a way for you to be paid for doing something that you really like to do?

[wtmusic]

9. Write a book

You're a writer SZJ, you just have to get out from behind that Slurpee machine and take a stab at it

[Rowdyboy]

10. Steal your dady's cue and make a living out of playing pool...

Or find yourself a rock and roll band, that needs a helping hand...

However, I've also heard Austin's nice...

[Bossy Monkey]

11. His dad just died

You might want to consider asking the mods to remove this. I'm sure you didn't know, but it comes across as a little less than sensitive.

[SweetZombieJesus]

13. Actually, it's ok

He did play pool, and it's a nice thought. I'm trying real hard to be happy when I see or hear things that remind me of him, because I know he wouldn't want us all moping around all the time.

[DemBones DemBones]

17. I liked it, thought it gave a nice image,

even if it is a line from a song. Remembering is good, even if some pain is involved. You can't avoid memories so try to enjoy them.

[Rowdyboy]

21. Please know that I would never have said that...

If I had known. I am so sorry. Labor Day was the 4th anniversary of my mother's death and I know how much it hurt. Please accept my sincere apologies.

[SweetZombieJesus]

22. It's totally cool dude

Don't sweat it at all. I was not offended in the least.

[Rowdyboy]

20. I am more than horrified...

Obviously, it was not meant intentionally....Hard to know how to apoliogize but I will cerainly try. Thanks for letting me know.

[Bossy Monkey]

12. SZJ, you gotta let yourself heal

That said, I voted for the cinema club. Interact with as many people as you can, but don't be surprised if it's a long time before life has the flavor that it did.

[NightTrain]

14. Move to South Dakota and change your name to "Sid"

Well, you asked!

[Booberdawg]

15. Give your self some time!!

Holy jeepers fella. You've went through 2 trauma's in one week and it hasn't even been a month! You don't have to decide the whole rest of your life RIGHT NOW??

Why not do more than one - spend some time with mom but don't committ to moving there? Do some writing because it IS therapeutic and is a talent for you anyway. I don't agree with advice about partying and escaping - it just prolongs the inevitable and the grieving process.

It takes AT LEAST a year to get your bearings after a major loss. It's a process. It's done in stages. (And a year is just a guideline, not a rule.) My advice would be to do whatever feels nurturing to you - don't do anything out of guilt.

I hope you have not dismissed counseling as an option. It can be very helpful.

BTW, we are almost neighbors - I live near Omaha. :hi:

on edit: I was thinking you currently live in Kearney but I see that's not the case now. So, we are not really neighbors.:(

[SweetZombieJesus]

19. Nah, I'm still in Kearney

But mom lives in Ogallala, and I just kind of worry about her being two hours away from me and my brother.

I'm just freaking out tonight, and I don't know why. I've been doing pretty ok for the last couple days. Maybe it's the allergy medicine talking.

Thanks to everyone for the advice.

[DemBones DemBones]

16. Give yourself some time but start writing while you're at it.

Think of your job as being the equivalent of Einstein's working in a patent office to support himself and leave his mind free to think of physics, or Nathaniel Hawthorne working in the toll booth or whatever it was. Really, didn't he work in a tollhouse or something? A lot of jobs engage your mind so much it's very difficult to write or make art. Working in a convenience store presumably doesn't engage your mind to its fullest capacity so take advantage of that.

It doesn't matter if the writing goes well at first. Your dad's sudden death has given you a huge shock and it will take time to recover. But you may as well be writing while you're at it.

Maybe you'll write something wonderful, maybe you'll find out you don't really want to write a book. It will work out for you one way or another.

I'm glad your mom is doing fairly well. Stay in touch with her and with your brother -- family is important. And pamper yourself. When someone you love dies suddenly and unexpectedly, it seems as if you'll never get over it, but you will. Of course you won't stop missing your dad, you'll just deal with it better as time goes by. Really. I speak from experience.

Take care!

[starroute]

18. Do something creative

I voted for starting a website, because that's what I keep nudging my son to do. He's about your age and doesn't know what he wants to do with his life either. But anything creative would serve -- a book, a zine, a website. Find something you love and pour yourself into it. That's how to heal, and it's also how you find your niche in the universe.

Be in the moment, and don't think too much about the future. There is no "rest of your life" -- there's only now. Make now count, and the rest will take care of itself.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

23. Do nothing.

Don't make any major changes for a while and just let yourself be. If you are surviving right now then just survive and take your time. Be in the space of what you wish to become then slowly move towards that. Look at who you are...what you love and where you are...don't make any major decisions.

A great book for where you are at this moment (in space) is a book called "What Color is Your Parachute."

They usually update it regulary and one can skip around the chapters and open up a thought process.

[regnaD kciN]

24. Write a movie...

...and let me direct it!

;-)

[Wcross]

25. Become a hobo

Ride the rails, see america from the rails!

Of course, I wouldn't risk it but hey, thats just me!

[newyawker99]

26. Congrats Wcross!! 300 posts

:toast:

[HEyHEY]

27. If you write

Become a journalist for a small town paper and work your way up...wild and fulfilling job.

[GOPisEvil]

28. If you wanna come check out Austin...let me know!

I can show ya 'round.

Oh, and www.sxsw.com. :hi:

[Terwilliger]

29. other: live for today

and tomorrow will come

[Wickerman]

30. Yep, take some time to heal

I'm sorry for your loss and certainly understand the feeling that you need to find something to fill the void, but let some time pass and heal. You can write -so write some. A fanzine wouldn't have to be a fulltime gig, or a website or even a film group and would be a wonderful diversion. Do what you enjoy, but I wouldn't make huge changes. Hang tough.

[rbnyc]

31. Austin is a great place to go figure stuff out.

But I voted for start a zine. ;-) The best thing to do is to keep asking yourself questions. Answers will come, but only if you've asked. Take care of yourself. And take your time.

Much Love,

Rene

[MissMillie]

32. If you don't like where you are...

then move.

I can see where you might want to hold off for a while, with your Dad dying and all, and maybe your mom needs you nearby for a little while.

But start saving your money and move. You'll have more opportunities and more things to amuse you in a different locale. If you're young and have no spouse or kids that you're committed to, I see no reason for you to not take a chance. Very little in this world is undo-able. If it doesn't work out, you CAN always come back.

[AWD]

33. Get back with Bob Odenkirk!

Make more episodes of "Mr. Show"!

Come on, do it!!!

[SweetZombieMom]

34. you'll figure it out

Jess, I'm speaking from a totally biased point of view here, but I've always known that whatever you do in life, you'll be great at it, and the only thing your dad and I ever wanted was for you to be happy. And now is probably not the time to be worrying about the rest of your life. You and your brother have a long, slow and extremely painful process to go through, as do I, but the 3 of us are going to be ok cause we're all strong enough to do it, and we'll do it together and with help from our rather large and loving extended family. So just be patient and know that the answers you're looking for will be found.And thank all of you du-ers for being so supportive. You people are the greatest!