125 Things Never to Say During Sex (adults only)

[protect freedom impeach bush now]

http://www.fiction.net/tidbits/sex/125_not_to_say.html

[unblock]

1. #126: "intercourse is inherently invasive"

courtesy of the ex-mrs. unblock.

[Chief]

5. And after sex, don't say:

"I especially liked the part when you woke up."

(courtesy of Playboy Mag,. many years ago)

[newyawker99]

9. Hi Chief!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast:

[unblock]

2. wait, what's wrong with "i like your tits"?

ok, maybe there's a better word for them, like "breasts", perhaps.

but i've never known a woman who didn't like being complimented on that part of her body (or any other part, for that matter), just so long as it's coming from someone she's intimate with.

or would "me likey likey" be better? :evilgrin:

[NickB79]

6. You have to say it with feeling

Try yelling out "Bouncy, bouncy bouncy!"

[SaveABug]

3. your twin sister got that mole removed

you should think about it!

[no_hypocrisy]

4. "Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy?"

I heard this was the phrase grunted in the heat of passion somewhere in Virginia. The alleged proper response was "You are - Sir!"

Ugh.

[Avatar13]

7. More things not to say during sex

"But everybody looks funny nekkid"
"Smile! You're on candid camera!"
"C'mon, a little rugburn never hurt anybody"
"...so the Giants are on at 4, then the Raiders are on at 8..."
"Do you accept visa?"
"... to think that I was really trying to pick up your friend"
"That leak better be from the waterbed"
"No, really, I do this part better myself"
"Did I tell you my aunt Margaret died in this bed?"
"Did I tell you my mother was convceived in this bed?"
"Is that you or is your mattress stuffed with rotten potatos?"
"At least you're not inflatable"
"What tampon?"
"Have you ever considered liposuction?"
"Have you seen 'fatal attraction?'"
"Sorry about the nametags, I'm just not good with names"
"Try not to smear my makeup, okay?" (From a gal)
"Try not to smear my makeup, okay?" (From a guy)

[FloridaJudy]

8. Did You Come?

Believe me this is a TOTAL turnoff when you've screamed and left claw marks on the guy's back.

And even more when you didn't!

[supernova]

10. Got to agree with you there, Judy

I mean,do I have to stand on my head or something? Sometimes I think it's very obvious that I had an orgasm and the guy is just ...so? What happenend?

:shrug:

[rainydaywoman]

11. God, I couldn't agree more!

n/t

[THUNDER HANDS]

12. that's why

I always give a woman a little bell that I swiped from a local hotel guest lobby.

Just ring it whenever you climax, honey, so I know when to roll over.

:evilgrin:

[supernova]

14. *SLAP*

Listen young'un, it's no wonder you post your dating travails here in a regular basis! :P

[Hubert Flottz]

13. The Wrong Name!

End Of Story!

[LincolnMcGrath]

15. <<<Man To Woman>>>

"Have you ever heard of Kegel exercizes?" :shrug: