In the interest of harmony

[SaveABug]

I'd like to teach the world to sing


your turn!!!!!! be creative.

creativity doesn't matter when you can't type! edit eidt dtie yep

[dorktv]

1. I would like the world to use jello to solve conflicts...

Because the winners and the losers would have something sweet to share afterwards.

[ForrestGump]

2. I'd like to teach the world to use their low-beam setting when driving

toward my face, from behind or in front, at night.

I would consider the use of an Uzi as an educational tool in this outreach program....

[SOteric]

3. I'd like to teach the world how well cell phones

can be made to fit up an inattentive drivers assets (give or take a few letters).

I would consider the use of an enema gun designed for adult pachyderms as an educational tool in this outreach program...

[ForrestGump]

4. I'm just glad that

(a) I don't have a cell 'phone and don't, indeed, ever want one

(b) I wouldn't be one of those clueless gits who drove with the thing in one hand

(c) they're now small enough that asset insertion would be considerably less catastrophic than it would have been in the late '80s...

[SOteric]

6. Possibly...

"(c) they're now small enough that asset insertion would be considerably less catastrophic than it would have been in the late '80s..."

...but not the way I'm planning it.

:7

[ForrestGump]

9. In that case, I hasten (rather rapidly, I must say) to add, please

see (a) and (b).... :o

[SOteric]

10. Who's

Abie? Do you have his cell phone number?

[ForrestGump]

12. Oh that's just....that's just...it's just....

actually....pretty good. :D :P

[ForrestGump]

5. I'd like to teach the world that "your" is NOT interchangeable with

'YOU'RE".....so their!

I'd consider the use of public humiliation as an edumacational tool in this crusade Operation Etymological Freedom.

[SOteric]

7. Nobody

expects the Gumpish Inquisition!!!

[ForrestGump]

11. All part of my strategery!

Woo them with chcolates and, next thing you know, they're being tortured (let me clarfy - made to watch Michael Bolton music videos) for there crimes against the language.

[SOteric]

14. Even for linguistic infamy

(almost as bad as linguine infamy), - that's cruel and unusual punishment.

[ForrestGump]

15. Inguinal linfamy really hurts. be careful out there!

So, like, what're you suggesting - sweet and usual punishment? Sounds like some kind of adult video title... :P

:D

[SOteric]

16. That's actually a perfect description

of the masochists cove in the Grotto.

[ForrestGump]

17. Please remind me to stay away from there, then

I'm not into 'phone sex....at least the kind that involves insertion of cell 'phones into certain assets, give or take a few letters. :D

[SOteric]

18. Are you sure...?

I mean...have you tried it?

[ForrestGump]

19. Oh, great

She goes and pulls the one question to which every answer is the wrong one. :D

It's a gift, I tell ya....it must be....

(Answer: only the AT&T operator knows for sure)


Can you hear me now?

:P

[SOteric]

20. If I lose this talent

they'll revoke my membership in the Women's Union and tear up my member card.

[ForrestGump]

21. That would be terrible!

Though I think it hurts more when a man's member is torn up. *wince*

You guys are unionized?!? Oh, boy.....

[SOteric]

22. And that would by *your* union requirement...

always thinking about your member.

No, -us 'chicks' are unionised. Sheesh!

[ForrestGump]

24. My last union didn't go too well

They make me cry. :-(


EDIT: I meant 'onion,' of course. :D :P

[TennesseeWalker]

8. I'd like to teach the world to drink Sweet Tea.

The "House Wine of the South"

[ForrestGump]

13. Run away! Run away!

I just never got used to it. :-(

I'll go for sweet water, instead....

[ForrestGump]

23. I'd like to teach the world to tremble in fear at the very mention of

my name.

Bwahahahahahahaaaaaaa.....

Forrest the Terrible....or maybe more Forrest the Mildly Disagreeable



Now recruiting a bunch of nubile women and a cadre of macho dudes for my bodyguard detail. This'll be so cool!

[SOteric]

26. I'm too complex to be a bodyguard

Call me when you're taking applications for 'evil minion.'

[ForrestGump]

27. How about filly minion?

They're very rare.

:D

Oh, minions make me cry.....




EDIT: I meant 'onions,' of course. :P

[SOteric]

29. Just call me "The Lady of Shallot"

[ForrestGump]

30. All right, lady....don't you be handing me any chive talking now, though.

Or I'll show you the scallions in my closet...

[SOteric]

31. Your

brain is leeking common sense at a rapid pace.

[Aristus]

25. We should all take a page from the lives of the Bonobos apes.

Settle all disputes with sex! We'd all be a lot happier.

[ForrestGump]

28. Those bonobos have got it sorted out

Like, far out, baby....

Obviously not the simian branch (literally) that the Bush clan descended (literally) from.....