RIAA Offers Amnesty, Buggery

[Chovexani]

RIAA Offers Amnesty, Buggery

WASHINGTON, D.C.- After spending the last two years coming down hard on song swappers, the RIAA recently announced an abrupt about-face in its relations with possible copyright offenders. The organization plans to generously offer amnesty to any file swapper who fesses up and pledges to delete any copyrighted material. Failing to opt into the amnesty program

"Confess and no harm will come to you," read's the headline on the group's website. RIAA representatives denied reports that robed squads of inquisitors have begun roaming American campuses urging students to renounce their vile file sharing ways and "confess...confess..."

Nervous Cal Berkeley student Anita Bath was thrilled to hear of the amnesty program and attempted to sign up right away. However, since the amnesty offer had not yet been officially extended, she was on her own. She phoned an RIAA representative directly to admit her guilt and received a commemorative lawsuit in the mail a few days later.

"I feel so much better," she beamed, "like a huge weight, along with several hundred thousand dollars, have been lifted off my shoulders."

<snip>

The RIAA's recently purchased Subpoena-O-Matic can pump out just over ten thousand legal briefs per hour. Technicians have already loaded it with half a million names of people who statistically should have purchased a large number of CDs but illegally obtained purchasing records show that they have not. The machine is reportedly on, humming, and waiting for the launch passcode: "Let the vicious buggery begin."

In spite of the evidence, many Americans continue to think file swapping is harmless, a fact that deeply concerns Bainwol. "I think the research will bear me out on this. Studies are showing that swapping files is a gateway crime which can lead impressionable young people down the path to smoking pot and eventually mass murder."

http://www.ridiculopathy.com/news_detail.php?id=899

Why am I picturing Michael Moore's witch hunt running around campuses holding subpoenas and Celine Dion CDs instead of copies of the Starr Report? :)

[SweetZombieJesus]

1. And they wouldn't be offering amnesty if they didn't know they don't have

a legal leg to stand on.

The big problem with this shit is that people rarely, if ever, try and fight these lawsuits. Most people don't realize that not only can they get decent legal representation and get the lawsuit dismissed, but they can countersue for legal fees. The trouble is, it's a lot easier for individuals to just settle.

People, if you find yourself being sued by the RIAA or any big corporation, DO NOT GIVE IN TO DESPAIR. Fight these bastards, because if you don't do it, no one will.

[blindersoff]

2. I have a question...

my husband was downloading music until about 6 months ago (I did a few myself). He deleted Kazaa from our computer, but we still have some of the music in our music folder. He claims that there is no way that anyone could ever know that he had them... is this true or is there a chance that they could hit us with a suit?

[sendero]

3. "no way"

Never say never. However, I would say that the odds of this being a problem for you is something like 1,000,000,000 to 1 :)

[mvd]

4. Especially if you hava a firewall

Then you could add many more 0s to that figure.