Hey, if the girl I was seeing tells me that she's seeing somebody else...

[flvegan]

is that a bad sign for our relationship? Just wondering...

To her credit, she said that there was no easy way to tell me, but she did. Should I feel bad for her?

[indigobusiness]

1. You should feel...

someone else.

[jdots]

4. did she say who ?

time to say to her see you later

[flvegan]

15. Nope. Didn't give her the opportunity.

God forbid that I know the guy...

[Misunderestimator]

2. 1. It's a bad sign... 2. You should not feel bad...

just run

[slor]

3. Sorry for the breakup...

if you still care about her, and if you are happier now that you have split, I wish you well in your new freedom.

[ogradda]

5. yeah bad sign

feel bad for her? no. me i feel bad for you.

[aquart]

6. Empathy is fine.

Did you tell her you appreciated her honesty?

Did she tell you face to face? That truly is difficult.

In the end, we can't control what other people do. The memories that make us proud or cringe are all about what WE did in reaction. Behaving well is never wrong. And is frequently a lovely source of satisfaction.

(I remember being unnecessarily cruel to innocent people, and the shame of my behavior lingers decades later.)

[flvegan]

17. What I said...

She said that she was seeing someone else. Sort of in shock, I said, "um, okay". She called me on my cell phone. I've been unable to get in touch with her for almost 2 weeks, though we live less than 2 miles from each other, and (gulp!) work in the same office. Just wouldn't call/e-mail/smoke signal me back...

[aquart]

36. You behaved well in the circumstances.

And she has many lessons to go before she learns how to deal gracefully with awkward situations.

You have been, officially, dumped. For the rest of your life, you will have empathy for others walking this path. And it does come to an end. You just took one of the lumps that make a decent human being. No pain, no gain is true.

I cannot gauge your level of misery, but you are completely entitled to indulge it and yourself for up to two weeks, at which point the emotional endorphins will have worn off and you can live anew.

Do what you can to avoid her for the necessary two weeks.

When you next meet....if your feelings overwhelm you and you must make a fuss, so be it, but you'll hate yourself afterward and cringe at the memory for the rest of your life. Better to be both cool and cordial. You'll be so much more pleased with yourself (and right now, in this relationship, you are the only one who counts).

[Spinzonner]

7. Male or female ?

Male - probably not so good

Female - possibly increases the combinatorics

[flvegan]

18. Female.

[Spinzonner]

20. I meant the person she was seeing

I knew from your post it was a girlfriend

[flvegan]

23. Gotcha, sorry. Male.

Funny, honestly, if she were seeing another woman, I wouldn't be so upset. Must be the deviate male "can I watch?" in me.

I know, I know...challenge to the ole manhood, yada yada yada.

[Spinzonner]

26. Life's like that sometimes

Just need to move on after a little well-deserved self pity

[HEyHEY]

8. Borrow money off her then split

[Misunderestimator]

12. LMAO

nice

[ogradda]

13. yeah!!

wish i'd thought of that!

[flvegan]

19. Doesn't have any!

I was helping her plan her way out of her financial mess (finance major in college and currently debt free, myself). She makes more than me, but has none to lend. I could get her to max out her credit cards on cash advances to pay for my therapy that I'd naturally blame on her.

[jukes]

34. insensitive

bastard!

[The Backlash Cometh]

9. Move on.

Actually, it depends on how old you are. If you're late twenties and ready to settle down, move on. If not, just date other girls and be sure to always use protection.

[flvegan]

27. I'm 32, and I keep my .45 handy

Protection, right?

Just kidding.

[TrogL]

10. according to the movies

you're allowed to kill her boy/girlfriend and pretty much anybody else within a 40 mile radius

[flvegan]

21. If I believed in violence

You could call me Bruce Willis...Can you buy napalm on the net?

[GingerSnaps]

11. At least she is honest

She cheated on you why should you feel bad for her? I don't think that you have a relationship left. Once a cheater always a cheater and if they cheat then they lie.

You would be better off if you found someone else.

[Misunderestimator]

14. I agree with "once a cheater always a cheater"

Therefore, I never give a second chance (any longer, since I learned) to someone who has cheated.

[GingerSnaps]

22. Same here

Once in a while they come running back to you after the new person in their life dumps them. I would never take a cheater back even if they were the last person on earth.

[Misunderestimator]

Yep... and that has happened too many times...

never works. Now I'm too old to put up with it.

[tjdee]

16. Bad sign. Feel bad for her?

Why? She's got two guys interested in her.

Her seeing another person means she doesn't like you enough to see only you.

If you guys are just dating, that's one thing.
If you thought she was your "girlfriend", that's another.

[chaska]

25. She's not being nice, she wants the other guy and not you....

All you can do, I'm afraid, is what she wants you to do, that is, get lost.

...But don't do it for her. Do it for you.

We've all been there, no shame it - no blame either, come to think of it. Thank her for being upfront and go find someone even hotter. That really gets 'em.

[miss_kitty]

24. I wouldn't feel bad for someone who obviously

isn't that into me...

[GingerSnaps]

28. Why are you still talking to her?

:shrug:

[flvegan]

30. As of yesterday, 4:15 pm...

I'm not. That's when I got the call. Really sunk in today. Delayed reaction?

[2bfree]

29. That is a real bad sign..............

You deserve better, good luck and take care.

[Amaya]

31. Bad sign

say... bye bye

[flvegan]

32. Thanks, all

I told her to go Cheney herself tonight.

So...who needs a date? Hello? Is this thing on?

[Renew Deal]

33. Forget her

there are plenty of other girls just dying to meet you.

1-900-HOT-4YOU

[flvegan]

35. I am sooooo glad I got that e-mail offer

For the herbal viagra. I'm ready to dial! Oh, shit...why did Carrot Top just pop into my head? Damn! Shrinkage!