Men of DU : Time to step up!

[Shrek]

Here's our chance at the brass ring!

Who will grab it?

:wow:

[XNASA]

1. She's not my type.

Her belly button's too little.

[StaggerLee]

3. yeah

And I hear that she eats crackers in bed. I don't need the aggravation.

[einsteins stein]

17. And that belly button looks offset

like it was part of a trio, then the two to the left and center just vanished. Creepy. A rightwing navel.

[ButterflyBlood]

19. you're looking her belly button of all places?!

n/t

[ForrestGump]

23. I was going to say that that's not her belly-button, but

she hasn't had plastic surgery.

Though if that picture was of Cher, yep, that wouldn't be her belly button.... :o

[wyldwolf]

2. Done!

Please submit your addresses here for the wedding invitations!

[StaggerLee]

4. Just remember on my invitation

My name is spelled Marcos. Not MarcUS, not Marc- MARCOS.

**hope you don't mind that crackers in bed thing 'cause it's all you buddy.

[regnaD kciN]

5. Sorry...

...but I think my wife would object!

;-)

[Devils Advocate NZ]

6. maybe...

And she added: "What am I supposed to talk about with a man who doesn't know what it's like to be a woman?"

Maybe Salma has been going for the wrong gender? Who would know more about being a woman than a woman?

Funny that her criteria for a husband includes having "more balls" at the same time as being "feminine". Apparently it takes balls to be feminine :shrug:

No wonder she isn't married.

[Hubert Flottz]

7. Just call me crackers!

:evilgrin:

[kmla]

8. She just doesn't do it for me....

I'm kinda partial to Angelina Jolie or Sandra Bullock (bad girl/good girl).

:loveya:

[skypilot]

9. Sorry, gay.

Does she have a brother?

[BlueJazz]

10. Gee...What a gorgous Mind!

Mr.Bush Baud Man! He Vedy, Vedy Baud Man !!

[matcom]

11. FOR GAWD'S SAKES!!

THINK OF THE KITTENS!!

back in 7 to 9 minutes

[leftofthedial]

12. I got Selma's balls right here

uh oh. Did that sound like macho posturing?

[ForrestGump]

13. Back off, you slaveringdogs!

She's mine....

[SOteric]

14. Okay, Forrest. Maybe this will help:

[ForrestGump]

18. Damn!

You got those pictures from my urologist, didn't you?!

So much for doctor-patient confidentiality.

The blue doesn't come out very well on the Web, though...

[SOteric]

21. WooHoo!

Forrest! They're sparkley?!

Who'd a thunk.

[ForrestGump]

22. That's right.

That's why, when I bend over, the sun suddenly seems brighter. :D




They hurt when they tinkle though.

They, not I.

[SOteric]

24. Naughty, naughty Forrest.

You'll be getting such a spanking as soon as I find my industrial sunblock.

:spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

[ForrestGump]

25. Oh, no! Please don't spank me! Please!

Especially not in the briar patch, said Br'er Forrest.... :P

[sexybomber]

27. no! We must kung-fu fight!

Shaolin Fist!

[ForrestGump]

29. Your kung fu, like your rooster, is very weak

I will attack....with flying dragon steals white ape's breath...

[SOteric]

30. Excellent choice, Forrest!

The Flying Afterburner maneuver!

"Ha! Fear my Shorts!"

[ForrestGump]

31. No! Not the shorts! They killed my teacher!

I execute....monkey climbs pole to escape shorts...and slice heaven

[SOteric]

32. Dude, if the fumes catch you at the tip of that pole

you are sooo gonna regret this choice.

But the term 'execute' will grow more appropriate.

[ForrestGump]

33. You can't fool me. Come now, I will fight you with pants aflame!

Drunken crane stretches wings!

[SOteric]

34. Bah! Has bean.

Wings of small bird flutter in a damp breeze:

[ForrestGump]

35. Weapon of ass destruction deployed....

Hide your small bird.....

[SOteric]

36. Aaaaaaaaggghhh! Gack!!! The smell!!! It's inhuman!!

[ForrestGump]

37. Ha! You insolent person! I tell you now that my kung fu is the best!

I project my chi in your direction, bearer of scary shorts, thanks to:




Now...I must go to meditate...

[SOteric]

38. I think you mean...

kung phoooey.

[ForrestGump]

39. Stop that kungfoolery!

:D

[Lefty48197]

15. Selma is my secret wife

we've had to keep it a secret so the paparazzi doesn't hound us. We need our privacy, you know.

[ForrestGump]

20. Then you're gonna be thrashed when you get home and she

finds that you've been spelling her name wrong... :P

[Room101]

16. She is a 10 you guys are nuts

Did you see her in Dusk to dawn? :)

[SmileyBoy]

26. What's her e-mail address?? DAMMIT, WHAT'S HER E-MAIL???!!!

I want to know!!!!!

[peterh]

28. Selma’s but a sand pebble in a sea of sand….

But what a fucking sexy pebble she be….

[Dogmudgeon]

40. I already posted a rant about Her Ballsiness

Read it in all its glorious disgust:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=196124#196378

--bkl
She's Rich. She's Beautiful. She Deserves the Very Best.
She's Republican. And Don't You Forget It.